His True Heart by Samantha Cayto
General Release Date: 1st February 2022
Word Count: 33,436
Book Length: SHORT NOVEL
Pages: 125
Genres:
EROTIC ROMANCE,GAY,GLBTQI,MEN IN UNIFORM,VALENTINES
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Book Description
The heart always knows the way.
Chris Novak is adjusting to his lieutenant being the first openly gay SEAL. Seeing the man’s obvious love for his husband gives Chris ideas—ones he has ruthlessly suppressed his whole life. Becoming a SEAL was his dream. Having the love and approval of his father remains critical to him. Acknowledging his sexual orientation would have jeopardized both. While the military has evolved, Chris fears that his father’s views have not.
Tanner Pac has been openly out and proud since high school, with his family embracing him as he is. He knows being gay is not a problem, but his dream of becoming a software engineer is. His parents expect him to carry on the family business of running a pizza parlor. He dares not disappoint them, fearing a loss that would crush him.
While visiting his father on leave, Chris goes out for pizza, not expecting to run into his old girlfriend’s annoying little brother. They could never ditch Tanner and now that he is all grown up, Chris finds he no longer wants to. Facing the strong temptation that Tanner presents is causing Chris to also face the truth about himself.
As Chris and Tanner struggle to meet their parents’ expectations, their attraction for each other cannot be denied. Their strength and courage grow in each other’s arms, but it may not be enough to break free of the weight of family expectations.
Back when his father and uncle had been kids, the pollution of the Saginaw River had been so extensive that it never froze. Now, with the clean-up of American waterways, the river iced over, allowing fishing once more of walleye, even in the middle of winter. It was great, if you liked that kind of fish, which Chris didn’t, and if you enjoyed sitting around a hole waiting for something to bite. That was also something Chris didn’t enjoy. Fishing was too much of a stationary sport. Chris liked to keep moving. He hadn’t lasted even an hour before hauling his line up and making some excuse about needing to make calls. The older men hadn’t minded, being engrossed as they were in stories of great catches.
His plan was simple. He’d hunt down a coffee house where he’d pay more than any human should for some caffeine, and while away the hours until it was time to go back to get his father. That was the thing about high-priced coffee places… They knew part of their appeal was free Wi-Fi. Lingering over a single cup for hours, looking at his phone, would be fine. The only risk was that he might still die from boredom. The Internet held little appeal to him, filled as it was with nonsense and things that would enrage him. But he had been so desperate to change the subject at dinner the previous day, as well as please his father, that he’d agreed to go ice fishing without thinking it through properly. The choice now was being bored and either being uncomfortable or not. He’d had worse choices to make in his life, although he couldn’t think of any at the moment.
Worries about spending a few dull hours fled his mind as he spotted a familiar face through the window of the first coffee house he came across. He parked the SUV in the nearest available spot without thinking over the advisability of stopping there instead of finding another place. His heart skipped a beat, and his steps faltered when Tanner came into closer view. The boy had his head down, peering at a laptop, so he didn’t see Chris’ approach. Chris took advantage of that fact to slow his movement and simply stare for a few seconds. Tanner gnawed at his lower lip in an adorable sign of concentration. He looked tired, though, and Chris hated that fact. He really shouldn’t interrupt whatever Tanner was doing, but he couldn’t help himself.
He ordered the biggest hot latte with skim milk that the place offered, mostly to please the person taking the order—a pretty boy with a nametag that said ‘Teddy’. It didn’t really matter to him what he drank, because his mind was focused on Tanner, even as he kept his eyes forward. Then, he did something really stupid—pointing at Tanner, he asked Teddy for another one of whatever it was Tanner was drinking.
The guy behind the counter smiled knowingly. “You’re the SEAL.”
Nonplussed for a moment, Chris eyed him before saying, “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
“No, but I’ve heard of you. Tanner and I were in high school together.”
The conversation rankled for about two seconds before Chris reminded himself it was his own doing. Plus, he felt a strange spurt of joy at the idea that Tanner might have discussed him with someone else. “Oh,” was all he could manage to say.
And just to add to the lunacy of the whole thing, he asked Teddy what kind of pastry Tanner liked. Under Teddy’s knowing smirk, he bought a couple of the recommended chocolate croissants feeling ridiculous, yet unable to change course. Really, he shouldn’t even let Tanner know that he was there, let alone join him. Except that no doubt, Teddy would tell his friend about Chris coming in if he turned tail and kept his order to himself. That might lead Tanner to think Chris was rejecting him, and he didn’t want that. He’d started this whole thing. It was up to him to see it through. So, once his name was called, Chris grabbed his order and headed straight toward Tanner’s table.
“Mind if I join you?” The inanity continues. Despite his mental facepalm, Chris couldn’t really find fault with his efforts when Tanner trained his beautiful blue eyes on him. His hair was in a messy ponytail and the overall effect was one that brought out both Chris’ protective impulses and his libido. He didn’t have time to castigate himself on either of those because Tanner smiled, derailing all thoughts, rational and otherwise.
“Hi! I didn’t see you come in.” Tanner waved at the seat opposite him.
“You were pretty engrossed in whatever it is you’re doing.” Chris sat on a chair that wasn’t made for a man of his size and weight. It held, though, with only a small groan in protest. He slid the drink holder and the bag of pastries at Tanner. “I thought maybe you could use a top-up and some sugar to add to the caffeine. Your friend at the counter said this is what you like.”
“That’s so sweet of you.” Tanner’s words made Chris feel stupidly ten feet tall. Tanner took his drink and sipped cautiously at what had to be a piping hot cup of whatever it was. Then he oohed at the sight of the croissant and took a big bite out of it before saying, “I wouldn’t have thought this was the kind of place you’d come to. I hang out here because of Teddy. He does the same at Pac’s.”
Chris knew it was his turn to say something in response, but his tongue was glued to the top of his mouth, an automatic response to the breathy moans Tanner was making. The sight of his lips wrapped around the pastry added to his perturbed state. It didn’t take much imagination to put the boy in a different situation, one in which Chris was drawing those sounds out of him in other ways and that mouth was full of something very different and not as sweet. His cock hardened painfully in his jeans, except this time, he was having difficulty regretting the reaction.
Because Tanner kept looking at him expectantly, Chris managed to push out a reply. “I’m hiding.”
Tanner blinked rapidly a few times, and of course, Chris’ mind and body registered it as flirting. “Sorry, what? From whom?”
Right, he’s reacting to the dumb thing I said. “They’re ice fishing—my father and Uncle Ed. I said I’d go because apparently I’d forgotten how cold and boring it is.” Not that he was freezing his balls off now. No, they were cramped and uncomfortable for a completely different reason, and he had reached the sweating level. He tore off his coat, even as he kept his gaze on Tanner, and told himself it was the warmth of the place, not of his blood.
Tanner laughed and drank some more of his coffee. “I get it, believe me. I would have thought, though, that you’re used to all kinds of weather, and don’t you have to be patient as a SEAL?”
Leaning dangerously back in his delicate chair, Chris had to smile at that question. “Yeah, you got me there. But when I’m on a mission, there’s an important goal at stake. Here, it’s just about catching walleye—which I’m not very fond of—for a fish fry.”
Tanner’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I love fish and chips made from walleye!”
Chris’ tongue was wagging before he could think better of it. “You do? Come over to dinner tonight. My father is making exactly that.”
Excitement showed through Tanner’s eyes before quickly dimming. “That’s sweet of you, but…”
“Are you working?” Damn, the kid deserved time off. The circles showing through his pale skin under his eyes were testament to how tired he was.
Tanner looked down. “No, I have the day off, but I don’t expect your father will appreciate you inviting me to dinner.”
“Of course he will.” Even as he said the words, he wasn’t sure they were true. Tanner had been to their house plenty of times but always with Lizzy or his parents. How would Chris’ father react to having only this gay man over? Chris decided in the next instant that it didn’t matter. He wanted Tanner to come for dinner, and if his friends weren’t welcome in his father’s house, then neither was he. It surprised him how vehemently he felt about it. “There will be plenty of food if for no other reason than we’ve just established that I’m not going to be eating much of it.”
Tanner quirked his lips. “That’s not what I meant.”
On impulse, Chris reached over and placed his hand over the one Tanner held his cup in. He noticed the softness first, then the warmth, and finally the way Tanner’s fingers twitched as if he were going to pull them away—except he didn’t. Instead, they went lax in Chris’ light grip. Tanner’s breathing quickened, and his nostrils flared. On a primitive level, Chris was happy to elicit such a response, even if his brain told him he shouldn’t.
“I know,” Chris said. “And it doesn’t matter. My father isn’t a bigot.” Why did his stomach clench in disagreement with those words? He ignored it. “Please, I’d like you to come. You look like you could use some pampering and deserve eating something someone else made in particular. Please,” he added with a quick squeeze.
After a few seconds, Tanner said, “Okay. Thanks, I appreciate it.” He slowly, yet firmly, pulled his hand away to take another sip of his coffee.
Damn, but Chris missed the contact. The impulse to follow and take that hand again, or better, move his chair around to sit next to Tanner, was strong. It took real effort to fight it and sit back. “Great. It’s a date.” He grimaced inside. “I mean…”
Tanner grinned briefly and wistfully. “I know what you meant. And I’ll drive myself. No need to pick me up or anything.”
That was as neat a block as Chris had ever experienced, and crap if he hadn’t been forming the idea in his head just as Tanner said it. Desperate to change the subject, Chris jutted his chin toward the laptop. “What are you working on, a screenplay or something?”
Tanner laughed and swiveled his head around. “I may be the only one in here who isn’t,” he said in a low voice. “I’m actually doing some class work in coding.”
“No shit? Is that something you need for the pizzeria?”
Tanner’s cheeks pinked, and he looked almost shamefaced as he answered. “No. I’m doing it because I really want to learn computer science. That takes a formal degree, which I don’t have time to do, whereas coding can be learned quickly. It’s more of a hobby for my own sake. In case I have an opportunity for, you know, work outside of Pac’s.”
The penny dropped for Chris, and he felt stupid that he hadn’t understood better what Tanner had been saying the night he’d driven him home. “It’s not only Saginaw that you’re not interested in. It’s the whole pizza-making thing, too.”
Obviously miserable, Tanner nodded with his gaze cast downward. He looked so vulnerable that Chris really wanted to comfort him. Instead, he went the safer route of giving unsolicited advice. “You should tell your parents, Tanner. They’d understand if you have your heart set on another career.”
Tanner raised his head, his eyes wide. “I can’t do that. Please don’t tell them.”
Hearing the near panic in the boy’s voice, Chris jumped to reassure him. “I would never do that. I won’t even tell my father. But why? I can’t believe your parents would dismiss what you want. They love you, Tanner.”
“I know.” He swallowed visibly hard. “They were really great when I came out. They don’t quite understand it, but they supported me and even went as far as leaving the church when Father Francis told them they needed to help me repent. The church meant so much to my mother, in particular, but when push came to shove, she chose me.”
“As well she should have.” There was no doubt in Chris’ mind that the Pacs’ duty was to their son. The idea that they might have chosen a different path enraged him on Tanner’s behalf.
“Maybe, but I still owe them so much. If staying here and running the pizzeria makes them happy, then why shouldn’t I do it?”
“Because your parents raised you to be your own person. You have the right to follow your heart, not only in love but in your career, as well.”
“You make it sound so obvious. I guess it’s hard for you to understand, given that you’re doing what you love and what makes your father happy.”
“I suppose so.” Even as he said the words, Chris couldn’t help wondering what he would do if his decisions about his life diverged from his father’s expectations. It was easy to tell Tanner to do what he wanted, but would Chris have the courage to follow his own advice?
“Anyway, I’m doing both just fine. We’ll see what happens. I should get back to my assignment,” he added with a touch of regret.
Or maybe that’s what Chris wanted to hear, that Tanner liked his company, even at the expense of his school work. Not wanting to cause more distress, Chris did the right thing, even if it went against his own desires. Which I shouldn’t feel. He stood with his coffee in hand. “I’ll get out of your hair. Maybe Dad and Uncle Ed have had enough of the fishing. Keep the rest of the pastry. You need the energy.”
Tanner looked at him from under his lashes, the coquettish gesture sending more blood rushing to Chris’ dick. In the next instant, Tanner’s gaze seemed to home in on Chris’ crotch with raised eyebrows, reminding him he’d taken off his coat. Chris grabbed it so fast that the chair nearly tipped over and held the item of clothing in front of him like a shield.
“Is six okay?” he asked to distract them both. “For dinner, I mean.”
Tanner blinked as if coming out of a trance. “Oh, um, yes. Six is fine. Thanks again. I’ll see you then.”
Chris could only nod before racing out of the coffee house, because sometimes the only option was retreat.
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Samantha Cayto
Samantha Cayto is a Boston-area native who practices as a business lawyer by day while writing erotic romance at night—the steamier the better. She likes to push the envelope when it comes to writing about passion and is delighted other women agree that guy-on-guy sex is the hottest ever.
She lives a typical suburban life with her husband, three kids and four dogs. Her children don’t understand why they can’t read what she writes, but her husband is always willing to lend her a hand—and anything else—when she needs to choreograph a scene.
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