Reviewed by Valerie

TITLE:  Love Always, Wilder

AUTHOR:  A.M. Johnson

SERIES:  For Him #1

PUBLISHER:  Self-Published

LENGTH:  404 pages

RELEASE DATE:  October 8, 2020

BLURB:

Wilder,

When I left that night, I had every intention of coming back to you. To us. But no matter how hard I wish for what I want, there are some things in life that aren’t meant to be. I don’t expect you to understand. You’ve already moved on, living your life. But mine ended that night, nine years ago, and I still can’t let you go. Not sure I ever will. I regret so many things, but hurting you, I’ll never forgive myself. I’m sorry for… everything.

Jax
****

Jax,

If only you could’ve seen it like I did, the way you were when you thought the world wasn’t watching. How you’d change when I looked at you, when it was just us.
But most of all… I wish you could’ve seen how much it hurt me when you disappeared. Regrets are for cowards. It has always been my belief you should chase after the things you want with actions, not words. There is no such thing as never meant to be.
So this apology… not accepted…

Love always, Wild

**Love Always, Wild is a full-length emotional standalone, HEA, contemporary MM romance featuring second chances, southern accents, a cat named Gandalf, and a sassy best friend who moonlights as a therapist.**

REVIEW:

Holy angst! I cried buckets at the devastation that befalls these boys and continues into their adult lives. My heart broke for them and then soared when they were later reunited in this wonderful novel. 

The prologue of Love Always, Wild sets the stage with Jaxon and Wilder as college lovers. At the time, Jax was a closeted jock, succumbing to the pressure of religious based parental expectations. Wilder suffered from feelings of worthlessness from the homophobia he faced throughout his life. Within their secret love affair, they found solace in each other. That is, until the day Jax went home for Christmas break and never returned. He completely ghosted Wilder, not returning his calls or texts. Wilder had no way to contact Jax and didn’t know where he lived. He disappeared without a trace. Wilder was distraught not knowing if Jax was dead or alive. He endured excruciating heartbreak and was emotionally scarred. 

Chapter one jumps ahead nine years and finds both men still trying to pick up the pieces of their broken lives. Wilder is living in the Atlanta area and is the best-selling author of Love Always, Wild the “true story with a fictionalized twist” of his life including Jax. While successful professionally, his emotionally damaged soul had prevented him from establishing lasting relationships with men. He’s simply unable to trust. He was also disowned by his parents after the book was published. 

I’ll be purposely vague and won’t discuss the mystery of what happened to Jax – you’ll have to discover that on your own. He’s been dealing with the devastation of his life for the last nine years and pretending he’s straight as a bargain with God. Wild was the first and last man he allowed himself to be with. His life stalled when he withdrew from school and never completed his education. He now lives with his family in Florida and works construction. And he’s miserable. 

When happenstance brings Wild and Jax back together again, Wild is shocked and angry. Afterwards, Jax’s emails and texts you unanswered. The second time they meet up at a gay club, Wild has hearts in his eyes. Both men nearly fall apart from the deep emotions when they’re alone. For the first time in Jax’s life, he feels free as his true self, dancing with a man in public, surrounded by like individuals. From there it’s a matter of forgiveness and then reestablishing what they lost. 

“Do…” I took a deep breath, holding his gaze, letting the fear go, I asked, “Do you think you could love me again?” 
He wrapped his arm over my waist, and when our chests came together, the rapid beat of his heart echoed against mine. “I never stopped.” 

There are many ups and downs after they reunite. I appreciate that these men are honest and straight forward with each other, without game playing or a desire to punish the other.  

Where I believe the book falls short is in the prologue. It would’ve benefited from a more expansive foundation to provide greater context to the present day. When they were in college, Wild tutored Jax but it wasn’t made clear how far beyond that their relationship went. If a deeper bond between the boys had been exhibited, this book would be an emotional powerhouse. We needed to experience more heightened emotions in the “before” relationship. 

At over 400 pages, this is a long book but it moves briskly through the richly layered narrative told in a dual first person POV. The side characters, including Wild’s friends and Jax’s family add richness to the text, with Jax’s family particularly well-developed. The ending is very satisfying with a solid happily ever after. I highly recommend Love Actually, Wild. 

RATING: 

BUY LINK: 

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