Reviewed by Jenna

TITLE:     The Grand Ballast

AUTHOR:     J.A. Rock

PUBLISHER:     Self-Published

LENGTH:     301 pages

BLURB:

In a future where live sex shows abound to keep a jaded population entertained, dancer Bode Martin falls for the brilliant and unstable Kilroy Ballast, who molds Bode into the star attraction of his erotic circus, the Grand Ballast. Drugged beyond any real feeling, Bode trades freedom and his once considerable pride for an illusion of tenderness—until he inadvertently rescues a young man from a rival show, and together they flee to an eccentric town in the west where love still means something. Valen’s not an easy man to know, and Bode shed his romantic notions under Kilroy’s brutal employ. Yet their growing bond becomes a strange and dangerous salvation as they attempt to overthrow the shadows of their pasts and wade together through a world of regret, uncertainty, beauty, and terror. But Kilroy won’t let Bode go so easily. Long ago, Bode was responsible for the loss of something Kilroy held dear, and he still owes Kilroy a debt. As the three men battle toward a tangled destiny, Bode must decide if his love for Valen is worth fighting for—or if he was and always will be a pawn in the story Kilroy Ballast will never stop telling. WARNING: Contains violence and noncon. Not a genre romance.

REVIEW:

The Grand Ballast is an extremely moving exploration of the meaning of true love. The story begins with Bode’s decision to stop taking drugs that leave circus performers in a haze so they can perform with emotional disconnect. Bode has been in a relationship with Kilory for some time, but now that he’s no longer in the “haze,” he believes they can have something more. Though romance is a dead and forgotten concept in his world, he believes he and Kilroy can experience true love together. However, Kilroy’s cruelty shines through so often that Bode’s romantic notions are dashed. Bode suffers unimaginable cruelty at Kilroy’s hands before he finally breaks free and finds love in the arms of another.

My heart goes out to Bode in his journey to find meaning in life. Bode wants love and romance so badly that he becomes blind to his lover’s cruelty. Throughout the first part of the book, I was hoping Bode would wake up and realize how wrong and messed up Kilroy was. But by the time he finally realizes it, the damage is already done. After his disillusionment with Kilroy, I was afraid Bode would give up on his dreams, but I’m glad that he never does. He gave his body and soul to a man who used and abused him, but he survives through it all and eventually finds the man who is worthy of his heart. I really loved the mood in this book. There were times when Bode’s recollection of the devastating string of events made me feel just as disoriented as he did, while dealing with the resulting emotional trauma. This book is certainly a piece of art, and my heart is still hurting from the happy but beautifully sad ending.

As a side note, the sex and noncom content are non-graphic. I recommend The Grand Ballast to those who love m/m romance with hurt/comfort themes and a lot of angst.

RATING:

BUY LINKS: 

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