I need to begin this by admitting that I’m ignorant about fashion. I’m sort of familiar with some famous designers’ names, but that’s about it. I mean, I know what I like, but my clothing preferences may have little or no resemblance to anything the rest of the planet likes. A lot of my personal tastes were formed when I went through my punk period in high school—a stage I never entirely outgrew.
But I do sometimes have to research fashion for my stories, and also I occasionally take note of certain trends. And it seems to me that one trend I’m seeing lately is men more often wearing clothing or styles that have traditionally been considered more feminine.
I guess the most obvious example of this is Billy Porter, who not only wore a tuxedo dress to the Oscars, but also wore the same dress on Sesame Street. He’s made his sartorial decisions at least in part as a political message, saying, “I think that we as artists … have the power to change the molecular structure of people’s hearts and minds and change the world. That dress changed the world.” When One Million Moms threw a fit about his Sesame Street appearance, he wrote, “The emails, DMs, and messages of good will I received that day (and continue to receive) from parents and their children who have been bullied all over the world and desperately need to see someone like me, being their authentic selves on mainstream media, is far more important than anything #onemillionmoms could ever say.” Porter has also talked about how taboos about men wearing “women’s” clothes are mired in misogyny.
Harry Styles, too, has famously appeared in dresses and other more traditionally feminine outfits. For him, the choice seems to be about self-expression and being true to himself. “What women wear. What men wear. For me it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”
I could list additional recent examples, like Ezra Miller and Jaden Smith. But celebrities have long experimented with daring looks. My introduction to David Bowie came in 1979, when I was up late because I was babysitting the neighbor kid, and I was watching Saturday Night Live. And there was Bowie in a skirt and jacket looking, I thought at the time, a little like a flight attendant.
What about men who aren’t celebrities, though? It seems to me that they’re also feeling more comfortable now with less traditional choices. Not too long ago I was waiting in line at the airport. A family of four was in front of me: middle-aged mom and dad, teen boy, slightly older girl. The dad was wearing totally predictable dad vacation wear: baseball cap, Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, sandals. Ah, but his toenails were painted a lovely blue. And in my little conservative corner of California, I’m seeing my male students occasionally switch up their black or gray hoodies for shirts with bright prints or blousy cuts.
Look how amazing talented narrator Joel Leslie looked at the recent Audie Awards. Not only does Joel look fantastic, but his husband made that outfit!
I love this trend. I think it’s wonderful to push against gender stereotypes, and I believe everyone should wear whatever makes them feel great. That means I, a middle-aged woman, have a lot of clothing with skulls on it (and have even been known to shop at Hot Topic with my teenage daughters—LOL). It means one of those daughters bought all her shorts in the “boys” section at Old Navy last year because she liked the longer length and—more importantly—bigger pockets. It means that the dad at the airport was rocking his blue toenails. And as an aside, I think men often look incredibly sexy in skirts and lace.
Here are a few examples I’ve been admiring lately on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/itsmickeytaylor/
https://www.instagram.com/lithunium.snow/
https://www.instagram.com/chrisohfficial/
Have you been seeing this trend among non-celebrities too?
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Kim Fielding is the bestselling author of numerous m/m romance novels, novellas, and short stories. Like Kim herself, her work is eclectic, spanning genres such as contemporary, fantasy, paranormal, and historical. Her stories are set in alternate worlds, in 15th century Bosnia, in modern-day Oregon. Her heroes are hipster architect werewolves, housekeepers, maimed giants, and conflicted graduate students. They’re usually flawed, they often encounter terrible obstacles, but they always find love.
After having migrated back and forth across the western two-thirds of the United States, Kim calls the boring part of California home. She lives there with her family and her day job as a university professor, but escapes as often as possible via car, train, plane, or boat. This may explain why her characters often seem to be in transit as well. She dreams of traveling and writing full-time.
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