Reviewed by Valerie

TITLE: How to Vex a Vampire

SERIES: VRC: Vampire Related Crimes

AUTHOR: Alice Winters

PUBLISHER: Self-Published

LENGTH: 360 pages

RELEASE DATE: February 18, 2020

BLURB:

Finn 
Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part; what’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner, an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it, and Marcus—or as I like to call him, Fangy McFangface—would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not. But what he doesn’t know is that I didn’t join the unit because I was tired of being a homicide detective, I joined because there is someone after me. They’ve already taken enough from me and I’m afraid they’re going to take all of me if I don’t find someone to help. That’s all Marcus was supposed to be, but now, he’s so much more and I can’t imagine my life without him. 
 
Marcus 
The moment the pesky human walked through that door, I knew I had to get rid of him. He’s charming and almost everyone else instantly loves him, but he doesn’t understand how risky it is being part of this unit as a human. But as I get to know the stubborn man, I learn that perhaps he’s not as naive as I once thought. And maybe he’s what I needed to realize there is more to life than just work and my dog. A group arises who is threatening to disrupt the alliance between the humans and the vampires, but Finn is the one who shows me how strong that alliance can be and reminds me why it’s worth protecting. When threats hit closer to home, I realize I would do anything for Finn because he’s brought so much joy to my life—and because he’s mine. 
 
This 105k word book contains: A creative use for undergarments, unintentional splits, a wolfhound who just wants to be a part of things, a vertically challenged human who still manages to wrap every vampire he meets around his little finger, the best date ever, possessiveness, really awkward dancing, some workplace revenge, and just a bite or two. Or three.

REVIEW:

First off, a warning for dog lovers: Alice Winters doesn’t play fair. She’ll lure you into reading How to Vex a Vampire with Marcus’ loveable, adorable, silly, snuggly horse-size dog named Artie (Artemus). The moment you meet him, you won’t be able to put the book down, and you’ll want your very own real-life Artie … food budget not withstanding.

(No kidding, I researched Irish Wolfhounds to see how feasible it would be to talk my husband into one. Not happening, sadly.)

Second Warning:  This book ends in not quite a cliffhanger, but definitely a To Be Continued. It’s not an edge of your seat, GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW situation, more like you don’t have the answer to something really big, really dark, and really scary … but the wait won’t be tortuous.  Frankly, I’ll find it harder to wait for more Artie.

Moving on, How to Vex a Vampire is another homerun for Alice Winters. (Maybe we should call her Winners.) She’s created a paranormal love story with a several hundreds or thousands of years age gap.  There’s lots of banter, lots of chemistry, lots of crime solving. And one über-protective vampire making the world know who’s his: Finn. Everyone loves Finn, human and vampire alike (eventually). He’s affable, unflappable, happy to a fault and he seems to always get his way. Oh, and he’s short. Probably even shorter than the dog. Then there’s Marcus, the ancient vampire of the Vampire Related Crimes (VRC) division, who initially regards Finn as a tiny, irksome human, and thus, inferior. He’s broody and prone to glare with his gorgeous golden eyes. Finn is a human homicide detective but wants very much to work for VRC so he finagles an opening, and despite much pushback – prerequisite: pointy teeth – gets himself hired.

“Is it because I don’t gnaw on people? I mean, I can give a mean hickey if that’s what I need to do to get considered.”

Finn’s first day on the job with VRC is spent investigating a death they believe is connected to a larger threat to the alliance between humans and vampires. The alliance was established to maintain peace but there now seems to be a person or group threatening the alliance by provoking vampires to turn on humans. Community tensions escalate as more fighting emerges.

But this is a romance, so the little human and the cranky vampire progress from enemies to coworkers to lovers. Finn is nothing if not relentless in getting what he wants, and what he wants is sexy-time with his Grumpy FangyPants. Before long, Marcus finds Finn to be cute and endearing and, my goodness, he has remarkable patience in coping with Finn’s unrelenting innuendo, which is a bit too much. But it’s his growing feelings and protectiveness over Finn that are all kinds of hot:

When did I become so dependent on having this human beside me? When’s the last time I felt this dedicated to anything? When’s the last time I was this close to anything? I spent years creating an impenetrable wall around me. How did he break it down so easily and in such a short period of time?

My nerves remained jangled over the course of the book because of the looming threat of the Big Bad. On one hand, I’m anxious to have the identity revealed; on the other, I’d like to avoid it altogether.

One thing I love about reading books by authors like Winters is knowing I most likely won’t encounter plot incongruities or inconsistencies, poor world building or character development, and sloppy editing. Experience shows. For me, it not only makes reading more enjoyable, it means I don’t have to report negative aspects in a review, which I really don’t like to do. Fortunately, I have nothing bad to say.

I enjoyed the secondary characters, including Finn’s family and the vampires at the VRC, led by his boss, Brooks, who is gleeful at making complete opposites Marcus and Finn work together. The other vampires, including the amusing Russian Karsyn who really wants to snack on Finn, have little respect and no love lost for him at first, but as I said, Finn wins over everyone, especially Marcus:

It’s funny how this little human has so many high-level vampires ready to tear the world apart for him. And there I am, right at the front of his mini army.

If you’re a fan of Winters, you’ll love How to Vex a Vampire. There are many commonalities to her other work. If you haven’t yet tried this author, give it  a go. You won’t be sorry. And you’ll soon have the second book in the Vampire Related Crimes series available, too.

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Speaking of vampires, I’d like to sink my teeth into that cover model. Yum!

RATING:

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