A warm welcome to author J.James visiting Love Bytes today on Pride Promotions blog tour for the authors New release “Denial , Deciet and Discovery”.
Welcome J.
Author Name: J. James
Book Name: Denial, Deceit, Discovery
Release Date: May, 2013
Publisher: Inkslingers Publishing
Pages or Words: 364 pages
Blurb:
Denial, Deceit, Discovery is the heart-rending story based on true events in the life of Jack Ellis; a young Catholic man deep in denial of his own homosexuality. It tells the story of how his own denial and the denial of his loved ones forced him to conform to the straight world, resulting in his marriage to his high school sweetheart. After years of cruising gay porn sites, chatting online with endless guys and intimate encounters with close friends, Jack was pulled into a life of deceit with a string of sexual partners.
The story explains the pain and suffering of those around him as his secrets unfold and honesty rises up. The torture endured as Jack struggles to piece together the complex story of his own sexuality is truly moving. Escaping the shame, Jack flees to Bangkok with his gay lover where a much greater world of deceit and discovery awaits them both.
Denial, deceit, discovery will make you laugh, cry, cringe and blush as Jack’s story unfolds from a life of shame to one of hope and acceptance for homosexual men.
Categories: Non-fiction
Sales Links:
Today I’m very lucky to be interviewing J James author of Denial Deceit Discovery
Hi J thank you for agreeing to this interview. Tell us a little about yourself, your background, and your current book.
Thank you for this opportunity to share with you my debut novel, Denial Deceit Discovery which is a memoir based on true events in my life when coming to terms with my homosexuality. I am currently a Principal of a school in Thailand, having worked in education for the past 17 years. I completed Denial Deceit Discovery in May 2013 and I am now working on my second novel which will be a M/M Romance.
- Is there a certain type of scene that’s harder for you to write than any others? Love? Action? Romance? Tragedy?
Denial Deceit Discovery has all these scenes in it and probably the hardest to write are the ones of tragedy especially because the tragic events were real events in my life. I remember many a time sitting in a coffee shop crying as I tried put the words to paper – reliving each moment, each conversation as if it were replaying right in front of me. Many readers have commented on how powerful some of those scenes are which makes me proud – to know that my book could evoke similar emotions in others.
- What do you think makes a good story?
I think there is no one recipe for a good story because I think we all have different tastes and expectations. For me personally a good story is one that leaves me with some kind of emotion – it may be a warm fuzzy feeling from a love story, unanswered question from a thriller that really gets me thinking or it may even me a more negative emotion like a deep sadness from the death of a character. A good story has relatable characters that you can connect with and imagine in your minds eye quickly. I don’t like overly complicated books that take a lot of energy to read because I don’t have much free time and I want to be able to pick the book back up and carry on easily from where I left off last time.
- Do you hear from readers much? What do they say?
Thanks to the power of Social Media I do hear from my readers a lot. I have had messages from across the whole world and that is so rewarding. One teenager in the USA told me that my book inspired him so much that on finishing the last page he went downstairs and told his family he was gay and they accepted it. He is now in a long term relationship and incredibly happy. He still messages me now to thank me. Many of the readers tell me that my story was the same as their own story and they could relate to it so much. Others ask me for advice on what to do because the book has helped them to face up to their own situations. Some readers also tell me how hot the sex scenes are – especially women!
- How many books have you written? Which is your favorite?
I have a really demanding day job so unfortunately I am unable to write as much as I would like. I have only completed one book but I am currently part way through my second which will be a M/M Romance. I have so many ideas for new stories but too little time to commit them to paper. I think Denial Deceit Discovery will always be my favourite. Even though my writing style is a bit rough in places it was so incredibly healing and rewarding to write that book that I don’t think anything else could top that.
- What do you like to do when you’re not writing?
I love to exercise – I am a gym freak to be honest. I love the cinema and relaxing with friends. I really enjoy reading but don’t spend enough time doing this. It has been my personal challenge this year to complete some of the books on my bedside table.
PROLOGUE
‘Did you ever think of men when you masturbated?’
Sometimes I cannot believe I have arrived at this point. This is one of many direct and personal questions from the Catholic priest dealing with my annulment. I cannot help but sense his judgement of me. From his failure to hide his disgust to the way his sunken, weathered eyes glare at me as he waits for my sordid responses. I am sitting in a room that reminds me of a nursing home. It is bitterly cold; though I’m not sure if I am shivering from the cold or the depth of questioning. Excessively floral wallpaper with clashing printed soft furnishings was never a good look. The mahogany 70’s style furniture pieces marked the perimeter of the room and the over-sized portrait of God’s beloved son hanging above the chimneybreast was particularly distracting. I did not feel comfortable discussing my love of cock with a priest, let alone with Jesus in the room!
Two years after our thirteen year relationship ended, I have been instructed by my now ex-wife to visit the priest to support her annulment application – a Catholic loophole that allows two Catholics to declare that their marriage never truly existed. We have to prove that I was incapable of willingly entering into the marriage due to my underlying, yet undiscovered, homosexuality. Personally I do not have the patience for this, but it is a small gift for my ex-wife that will enable her to one day remarry in the eyes of God.
In 2001 we married after seven happy years and we stayed married for another six, although maybe these were not as happy as the first seven. And why did I do it? Why did I marry a girl when the answer to the opening question was YES! Quite simply, because I loved her. When I stood there on the day of our wedding it never entered my mind that I was lying, or trying to cover up or trick anyone. I simply loved her and wanted to spend my entire life with her. On reflection, I guess I knew I was gay but I certainly did not want to live my life as a gay man. At that point I had never admitted to myself that I was indeed gay; something I have come to regret. It was not out of malice or false intentions, rather just total confusion and denial; born out of an upbringing in a straight, Catholic world. The signs were all there, but no one ever asked me the question and, therefore, I had no reason to even question it myself.
I have spent many a sleepless night trying to piece together the complex story of my sexuality and can now define three distinct periods in my life: one of denial, one of deceit and a final time of discovery. To some extent they are chronological but there are many overlaps whilst in each phase of my life. When I finally declared my sexuality at the age of thirty-one, I ended the thirty-one years of denial – a pretty hefty sentence for anyone! To some extent I am still there now. But there have been many exciting and somewhat dangerous discoveries along the way; from early childhood fumbles with girls, mutual masturbation sessions with male friends as teenagers first discovering porn, to naive visits to male prostitutes as a young man and random hook ups with strangers off the internet as a married man. With some of these discoveries came webs of deceit shrouded in guilt, lies and more confusion. But it was these very experiences that have shaped the gay man I am today – one who has found true monogamous love.
Since accepting my homosexuality, many people have used the line, ‘You had a choice…’ but to me it was anything but a choice. In fact, I would say I did everything possible to choose not to be gay and despite my greatest efforts to suppress who I really was; eventually it came and bit me on the arse anyway.
Denial, Deceit, Discovery is a new work of fiction by J. James. Written in the style of a personal memoir, James tells the complex, engaging and moving coming out story of the book’s main character, Jack Ellis. Jack is a young Catholic man living in the UK who struggles mightily on the road to self-awareness. Jack’s life is inspired by many events experienced by the author, but the universal themes of honesty, personal growth and acceptance transcend one person’s story. Denial, Deceit, Discovery will make you laugh, cry, cringe and blush as Jack’s life evolves from shame and embarrassment, to hope and acceptance. It’s a wholly relatable tale that will speak to anyone who has struggled to understand an aspect of his or her identity.
After over a decade of teaching, educational management and administration, James needed to find an outlet to share his personal story. As a lifelong lover of literature and writing, James has dedicated his career to educating students, helping them develop the tools they’ll need to share their stories in the future.
His first manuscript was inspired by the response James received from the Catholic priest who officiated his marriage annulment. As part of the process, James was asked to submit a small document outlining his feelings about the events that culminated in the failure of his marriage. The priest commented that the piece was the most moving and impactful account he had ever read. He called it an “inspiration” to other men and women struggling with similar situations. After exploring many options, James realized that his story could help people to understand the complex issues facing gay men in denial – hopefully, helping to spare others from the heartache he and his loved ones experienced.
James currently lives and works in Southeast Asia. He enjoys the tropical climate, and the relaxed pace, which has provided him with the opportunity to continue developing ideas for his second novel.
Where to find the author:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Denial-Deceit-Discovery/579655628715059
Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/jack.ellis.5220
Twitter: https://twitter.com/je1author
Other: http://www.jjamesauthor.com/
Tour Dates & Stops:
1-Jun
2-Jun
3-Jun
Because Two Men Are Better Than One
4-Jun
Two Chicks Obsessed With Books and Eye Candy
5-Jun
8-Jun
9-Jun
10-Jun
11-Jun
Scattered Thoughts & Rogue Words
12-Jun
Rafflecopter Prize: One of five e-copies of ‘Denial, Deceit, Discovery’ by J. James
This sounds like such a interesting book and I can’t wait to read it. Thank you for the chance to win.
Congratulations on your first book. This book could probably serve to help many others who are dealing with the same situation. Thank you for the post and the giveaway!
Thank you for the giveaway and congrats of the first book!
Hi! Congratulations on your book. Your book sounds good and I can’t wait to read it.