Today we give a warm Love Bytes welcome to author R.P Andrews joining us on the blog tour for his new release “The Czar of Wilton Drive”

R.P shares a fabulous guestpost on gay relationships and there is a giveaway to enter !

Welcome R.P 🙂

 

The Czar of Wilton Drive by R.P. Andrews

PUBLISHER:  Kokoro Press

RELEASE DATE: July 8^th, 2014

Book Links:

Kokoro Press | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Goodreads

BLURB:

The Czar of Wilton Drive, the story of Jonathan Antonucci, a 21 year old, barely-out-the-closet gay man from suburban New York who overnight finds himself a multi-millionaire, thanks to a bequest by his late gay great uncle. Uncle Charlie has unexpectedly died of a heart attack, leaving him the sole owner of several of the most successful bars in Wilton Manors, Fort Lauderdale’s gay ghetto, making Jonathan the Czar of Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors’ main drag..

Flying down to Lauderdale to claim his bequest, Jon encounters Uncle Charlie’s dubious friends and business associates, and is immediately submerged in Lauderdale’s scene of unbridled sex and heavy drugs. He also discovers his great uncle’s memoirs which reveal truths not only about Jon’s own past but also what may have really happened to his uncle.

Gay Relationships: Traditional, Fuck Buddies and Threesomes

Hey, gay life is just a microcosm of the larger srtr8 horizon, and just like with str8’s, gays dabble in a variety of relationships, traditional and otherwise.

The first, which at times I think is more a wet dream than a reality for a lot of guys, is the LTR – the Long Term Relationship.

You’ve sown your oats, and now you’re ready to settle down with Mr. Right. Sure, buddy, dream on. Like he’ll be waiting for you in the underwear aisle the next time you stroll into Abercrombie and Finch.

Seriously, though, if you met a guy, THE guy, who is more than just terrific sex; who you share commonalities with beyond reciting lines from Bette Davis movies; who’s financially stable, and has no excess baggage like drinking, drugs or psychoses (I know, that leaves out 70% of the gay population – just kidding); and who, most importantly, gives a shit, really gives a shit about your welfare and well-being, what do the two of you need to work at, and relationships are work, to make it last?

1. Set the ground rules from the beginning, particularly, when it comes to other men, friends, fuck buddies or ships in the night. Every relationship is different and handles this touchy issue in a different way. Just make sure that both of you are on the same wave length. You may start pledging undying monogamy, and if that works for the two of you, God bless America. But often, sooner or later, one half of the relationship may be looking for more, purely on a sexual basis, like a fuck buddy, or an occasional threesome with his partner. If the two of you can’t agree on the ground rules at some point if and when things change, then it’s time to rethink the whole arrangement. Open relationships can actually be healthy; closed relationships can be suffocating. Bottom line, how you define “honesty” and “fidelity” in a relationship is as different as men themselves. There is no standard Webster’s dictionary definition.
2. Celebrate and rejoice in your differences. Just as long as some of what you enjoy as individuals you can also enjoy together. (And I don’t mean just jerking off together over some porn.)
3. If kids are in the equation (yea, gay and bi-daddies I’m talking to you), make sure their needs and questions are addressed, too.
4. Don’t move in together right away. Spend some long weekends or a week at his place or vice versa. Can you deal with his leaving the toilet seat down in the middle of the night, or he with your halitosis at 6 a.m. on a Monday morning? And who says you’ve got to cohabitate for the relationship to work anyway? How about that word, understanding?
5. Don’t co-mingle assets until it makes sense. (You know, it’s $$$ strife, not infidelity, that wrecks most straight marriages.) Sure, decide how joint bills will be paid, but keep separate checking accounts, credit cards, etc.; after all, the credit reporting bureaus don’t award joint credit ratings to lovers. If you eventually buy a home or a condo, make absolutely certain that the deed and mortgage are in both your names (so you aren’t left holding the bag if the other picks up and leaves; you know how many guys I know were forced to file for personal bankruptcy because of this stupidity?), and that you each have the right to survivorship, which means you or he gets the property should something happen. Again, when the moment is right, get your asses over to a gay-friendly lawyer and establish respective powers of attorney, health care proxies, and wills. You may not want your next of kin, your Marine corporal homophobic brother, making decisions if you can’t, or inheriting your estate. Of course, gay marriage solves a lot of these loopholes, but marriage may not be for everyone.
6. Be open to compromise. Don’t let the little shit destroy a relationship. So he leaves the sponge in the sink after he washes the dishes. So? Put it back where you want it without making a federal case. A federal case is him bringing home a trick at 3 a.m. who may end up tying the both of you up, beating the shit out of you, and then taking the keys to YOUR Cooper.
7. Put yourself in the other guy’s shoes, particularly when he’s faced with a dilemma or has a tough decision to make and he turns to you for advice, not parenting. (There may be relationships where one partner is the driver but any guy who just blindly follows another guy’s orders I think is a fuckin’ jerk).
8. Give one another space. Guys who are too clingy smother a relationship. If you feel that insecure, either the coupling was built on sand to begin with, or you’re not ready.
9. Finally, TALK. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but when there’s an “issue,” it’s better to discuss it even if there’s some yelling (just no throwing furniture or smothering one another with a pillow, huh, guys?) and try to work things out, than to let it fester and you both end up on “Forensic Files,” only, one of you will be watching it – from prison.

And if, in the end, it means it’s time to call it quits, so be it. A relationship is supposed to be a safe harbor, not a disaster flick.

Now moving on to the less conventional …

At first blush (and I don’t blush easy), a fuck buddy is just what it says it is. A buddy you get together with now and again on a regular basis to get one another’s rocks off. No hearts and flowers. No Godiva chocolate on Valentine’s Day. No walks on the beach. No emotional roller coaster rides. Or arguments about your mother. Just slam, bam, thank you ma’am, and see you in a few weeks for more of the same, Jake.

But those who have or have had fuck buddies know that these fellow playmates are much more than a hard dick or ass you get to know as good as, or even better than your own.

First, many guys turn to fuck buddies when sex has gone out of their own “LTR’s.” That’s why it’s good that at least one buddy in a fuck buddy duo has his own place. Sleazy motels can add to the experience, but they still cost $$ and mean logistical pre-planning.

But, unlike tricks that might prove dangerous to a relationship that otherwise has something else going for it, fuck buddies are safe like a warm kitten. In fact, many a fuck bud has actually saved a “marriage” by giving the guy an outlet to let off his sexual steam, so to speak.

A good fuck buddy is also a good listener. He’ll listen to shit about your job your partner won’t because a FB doesn’t want anything to spoil that next hour of hot, unbridled sex. He can play marriage counselor of sorts, even if all you do is vent, at least for those ten minutes of conversation before the two of you do what you met for. Sometimes these conversations can include topics like new sex toys, or reviews on new play spots in the scene that only two sluts without any agendas could engage in.

A good fuck buddy is also reliable and convenient. You know exactly what to expect from him and him from you. No uncomfortable surprises like with a trick with whom you haven’t had the chance to go over your sexual do’s and don’ts check-off list. Plus, you pretty much know one another’s schedules and so can predict and anticipate (isn’t hot sex half anticipation anyway?) when you’ll get together. Guaranteed, satisfying sex at 4:30 in the afternoon on the way home from work. What more could a boy want? It beats having your lover pile your shit on the curb if you came home at 3 in the morning from a loser trick.

At the same time, fuck buddies are the perfect sex partners to experiment with, things you’d be afraid to try with your love partner who might accuse you of straying (“where did you learn that?”). Hey, and if those shoe laces and fish sinkers don’t work, no big deal. You already know one another’s tried and true hot buttons.

And do I need to remind you that FB’s are also great for NSA threesomes that a member of a love twosome might otherwise feel uncomfortable with or even threatened by?

Where some fuck buddy relationships go sour is when one begins to take the other for granted. While you’re breaking your ass trying to hold onto those three pack abs, he’s decided to live in the fridge. This usually happens when one is content to get most or all his sex from the other and doesn’t feel he needs to keep his marketable edge, the same shit like two straight or gay marrieds. A relationship is still a relationship, whatever its premise. You still have to work at it.

Interestingly, partners often turn to threesomes first before each venturing into solo fuck buddy territory to revitalize a sexual relationship that’s becoming mundane. But many times, threesomes aren’t the equal deals in bed that gay fantasies or Logo have portrayed them to be.

You have the spontaneous threesomes that take place in some sex club/bath house venue or backroom. Here, two guys are screwing around and, all of a sudden, enters Mr. Number Three. Sometimes the original pair are so into it, New Guy tries butting in before realizing it just ain’t gonna happen. But just as often, the twosome are total strangers who just started getting it on 79 seconds before, and having a third guy to go down on the two of them while they’re warming up in the kissing department just adds to the fun.

Then, there are the threesomes with partners and fuck buddies. These can be spur of the moment, too, like when a pair of guys clinging onto one another all night at the local levi/leather bar, suddenly zero in on what would make them both happy, standing against the wall. But, more often, liaisons with pairs who know one another’s bodies and hot buttons like two well oiled machines tend to be prearranged, often on the web, or prescreened as happens when the twosome is at a vacation hotspot or on some RSVP cruise. Such adventures give them an opportunity to size up, cock tease, and come on to Mr. Possibility. (Checking out HIV statuses doesn’t hurt either, particularly when the twosome are poz – or neg – boys.) With fuck buddies where their mutuality is based largely on good sex it’s less of a issue, but partners are wise to fuck around off local soil so there’s less likelihood of Mr. New Guy becoming a threat to their relationship.

That’s because invariably there’s a subtle or not so subtle stronger connection between New Guy and one of the pair sexually and, yes, even emotionally, which may not end with the used condom on the floor.

So what combinations work the best? Two hairy guys into a smooth one or vice versa as a change of pace (like having pistachio ice cream instead of the usual vanilla, chocolate and strawberry); a top, a bottom, and a “versatile,” or, mommy, hold me back, three versatiles. On the other hand, three lids or three pots just don’t make for exciting three-way romps.(That’s why pre-screening is a must.)

Finally, we have the ultimate in ménage a trios: the polyamorous threesomes taken to the loving extreme.

I was at 2606, the now defunct leather bar in Tampa one weekend, when I started chatting with a hot furry leather man about life. During our conversation, he mentioned that he and his partner (who preferred watching “CSI Miami” on Saturday night to the comings and the goings of the Tampa leather scene) were recent San Francisco transplants. In S.F., Hot Man was an attorney whose clientele included three way relationships. Married marrieds with another man or woman in the picture, or just three gay boys or girls living together. But these were not just threesomes built on sex, not when property and 401K’s and kids and healthcare proxies and estates came into the picture.

I’ve known only one such kinda relationship myself up in Pennsylvania where I own a summer home. Three guys living together and sharing the same bed. The jaded side of me wondered if they kept a calendar so they knew who slept with whom what night or, whether, lucky fucks, they played threeways every night of the week. But the serious side of me realizes there’s got to be more to it than that, just like in conventional long-term twosome relationships. What makes three people stay together in domestic, domiciled bliss? It’s got to be more than a big dick or a tight ass. Common interests? Emotional ties?

But I think the most bizarre threesome I’ve encountered yet involved some guys from St Pete’s, Florida, whom I met on line. Kyle and Tim, two hot, seasoned men, said they were fuck buddies looking for a playmate and, on a long weekend in St Pete’s, my first visit there, we played the afternoon away at my guest house room in fuck/suck ecstasy. As I was showering up, Tim asked if I’d like to go to dinner, to wit he called Sal, his lover – his lover – on the cell to join us. So there we were, the odd quartet at an-all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant, Tim, Kyle, Tim’s fuck buddy, me who had just finished fucking around with the two of them, and Sal, Tim’s lover, who liked me, really liked me, and knew exactly what the three of us had been doing all afternoon.

Later, Tim who told me that he and Kyle had been fuck buddies, just fuck buddies, since college, also confided that he had a problem in making his romantic relationships stick. Sal was his third lover in as many years and he was wondering what he was doing wrong.

Duh.

Guess what Tim does for a living? Yep, he’s a psychologist. And when Sal, whom Tim helped put through nursing school, suddenly left him one day for a younger and richer playmate, Kyle was beside himself on how Sal could have betrayed their polyamorous commitment.

Buddy, hormones are hormones.

But who knows. Now that same sex marriage may soon be the law of the land, legal threesomes (str8 and gay) may be the next new frontier.

But when folks start demanding it’s their constitutional right to marry Fido, that’s where even I draw the line.

 

RP Andrews spent most of his life in New York City as a public relations executive before relocating to Fort Lauderdale in 2002, where he enjoyed a brief, second career teaching writing at a local university. All his works of erotic gay fiction and non-fiction are available on amazon.com and Barnes and Noble; and other select publishers’ sites.

His first work of erotic gay fiction, a collection of edgy short stories called Basic Butch, was originally published by San Francisco-based GLBT Publishers in 2008. Basic Butch features characters who go down life paths that, in the end, they wish they had never explored.

His latest works of serious gay fiction include:

The Czar of Wilton Drive, is the story of Jonathan Antonucci, a 21 year old, barely-out-the-closet gay man from suburban New York who overnight finds himself a multi-millionaire, thanks to a bequest by his late gay great uncle. Uncle Charlie has unexpectedly died of a heart attack, leaving him the sole owner of several of the most successful bars in Wilton Manors, Fort Lauderdale’s gay ghetto, making Jonathan the Czar of Wilton Drive.

Flying down to Lauderdale to claim his bequest, Jon encounters Uncle Charlie’s dubious friends and business associates, and is immediately submerged in Lauderdale’s scene of unbridled sex and heavy drugs. He also discovers his great uncle’s memoirs which reveal truths not only about Jon’s own past but also what may have really happened to his uncle. In the end, Jon is torn between avenging Uncle Charlie’s death or loving the man responsible for it. From Kokoro Press.

Not In it For The Love, set at the turn of the new millennium. Josh, a young street-smart Florida drifter is snatched from his dead-end existence as a male hustler in a cheap Key Largo motel by Bishop, a Wall Street power broker who sets him up as his trophy boy in Manhattan society.

There, Josh, after leading a promiscuous lifestyle within New York City’s gay sub-culture, meets Hylan, a young, bi-racial, down-on-his luck, wheelchair-bound musician who awakens in Josh what love can be between two men. But their chance at happiness and the lives of those around them are forever changed by 9/11.

Buy Guys, RP Andrews’ newest novella scheduled for release late spring, 2015, is the story of Blaze and Pete, two young, gay handsome drifters with nothing, and nothing to lose. Blaze convinces Pete, who is falling in love with him, to leave dreary New Jersey and lead free and easy lives as male prostitutes in sunny Fort Lauderdale. Blaze, however, soon pulls Pete into a much larger, more dangerous scheme, a scheme that eventually threatens to destroy them both.

RP Andrews’ daily social commentary blog on gay life in America has been running since 2010 at str8gayconfessions.com, and a second edition collection of these commentaries is available as an e-book on amazon.com.

Confessions of a Str8Gay Man is RP Andrews’ unvarnished, unorthodox views of Modern Gay America which are often counter to today’s political correct gay media. In addition, there is Furry Man’s Journal, his erotic memoirs as a hirsute gay man as told through his experiences with the dozen iconic men in his life

AUTHOR LINKS:

Website: http://www.rpandrewsgayfiction.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ray.andrews.92?fref=ts

Blog: http://str8gayconfessions.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RPAndrews1

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7944092.R_P_Andrews

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