Reviewed by Vicki

TITLE: Spencer

SERIES: Survivor Stories #3

AUTHOR: J.P. Barnaby

PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press

LENGTH: 216 pages

BLURB:

It’s been nearly five years since Aaron woke up in the hospital so broken, he couldn’t stand the sight of his own face. The flashbacks no longer dominate his life, but he’s still unable to find intimacy with his lover, Spencer Thomas. With time, patience, and the support of his family, his therapist, and his loving partner, Aaron has figured out how to live again. The problem is, Spencer hasn’t. His life has been on hold as he waits for the day he and Aaron can have a normal relationship. Hoping to move things forward for them both, he takes a job as a programmer in downtown Chicago, leaving Aaron alone.

Reeling in the wake of Spencer’s absence, Aaron receives another shock when his attackers are caught.

Now, he must testify and verbalize his worst nightmare. Publicly reliving his trauma without Spencer at his side destroys his precarious control. But he finds someone who can understand and empathize in Jordan, who watched his brother cut down in a school shooting. With Spencer gone and the DA knocking at his door, Aaron seeks solace in Jordan, and Spencer will have to risk everything to hold on to Aaron’s love.

REVIEW:

If you haven’t read Aaron (the book) first you need to. Painting Fire on the Air as well, to truly get the back story for Aaron and Spencer. Briefly, Aaron and his best friend Juliette were kidnapped, taken to a garage and tortured. Both were raped, Juliette was murdered, and Aaron nearly so. He is left emotionally and physically scarred. Aaron (the book) takes place two years after the event. Aaron is barely able to function, he is medicated most of the time, and can not be touched at all without going in to a panic attack. His family tries so hard, but struggles to deal with him. He overhears a conversation between his parents, suggesting that he might be better of institutionalized. This is motivation to try harder and his parents convince him to take a computer class at a local college. He meets Spencer, a deaf boy, whose father is a psychologist, and the two of them get Aaron to the best place he’s been emotionally and physically since the attack. Aaron (the book) is amazing, dark and wonderful. Intense and emotional.

Spencer (the book) picks up three years later. Spencer is 21 and about to graduate from college, Aaron is doing much better but far from great. It is really a transitional time in Spencer’s life, and he needs to decide what to do from here. As much as he loves Aaron, he is being held back. The two of them turned a project for a computer class into an actual bit of software (I am soooo not an expert, so didn’t understand what it all does!) and Spencer has received an offer from a company in Chicago. Both to purchase the software and to employ Spencer and possibly Aaron. Spencer is obviously excited but knows it is not something Aaron will ever be able to do. His dilemma is starting his own life and moving to Chicago, or staying where he is with the man he loves. It’s so painful to see watch the two of them come to the decision that Spencer should take the job. He does need to grow up and move on, the fact that he’s been offered this job with only two years of college and he’s deaf is amazing. He needs the independence it will offer him, and the boost to his confidence. For Spencer it is the best decision.

But then there is Aaron. His family is pulling away, his therapist is losing interest in him, and Spencer is moving to Chicago. There is the potential to have everything he has fought so hard to gain over the last five years go away. Parts of this are so nice to read, Aaron has gotten himself together and really is better. Unfortunately he relies on outside influences too much to keep his sanity. Spencer, his mother, and Dr. Thomas. When they all get involved in things other than Aaron, he starts to sink back in to his old bad place. He’s not able to see past his own pain and see that others have things going on too, or deal with his own issues himself. Then the District Attorney comes calling.

So I’m trying to not give too much away. But there is a trial, the lead up to it is brutal. Aaron has to tell his story over and over to desensitize himself so he can do it in the trial. It nearly destroys him and his relationship with Spencer. He is embarrassed, tormented, ashamed. He doesn’t want his loved ones to know specifically what he went through, especially Spencer. How can Spencer ever look at him the same way? How can he face the men who destroyed his life?You have to read it to see how it ends. And what an ending. Made me cry!

I want to talk about the writing of this book. Beautiful isn’t the right word, considering the contents, may be detailed, accurate, honest, scary, and brutal. JP knows what she is doing. I’ve never had any thing to do with a situation like this, but this story seems so real to me. I believed everything about it. The techniques used to help Aaron, the trial details, the computer stuff, it’s all so real. This doesn’t seem like fiction to me. The way she shows Spencer’s stilted speech, and their sign language conversations worked so well for me. Same with their text message conversations. It all works technically very well. I can’t say I always “enjoy” JP’s books, most are difficult to read given the dark subject matter she tends to write about, but her skill as an author is outstanding. She handles the brutality of life for some people in such a realistic way. She does eventually give us a happy ending, but her characters work for it. So do we as readers. It’s not easy but so worth it. Read the other books first, then read this one. Please.

RATING:

BUY LINKS: Dreamspinner