Reviewed by Taylor

TITLE: Indebted

AUTHOR: A.R. Hawkins

PUBLISHER: DSP

PAGES: 270 pages

BLURB: A debt is paid and two lives are changed forever.

For Aaron Quinn, the decision to drop out of med school turns his life upside down, and his father piles on the guilt over the tuition costs. So when his father cooks up a plan to hold off a Mafia loan shark’s wrath, Aaron reluctantly agrees, desperate to make up for his failings.

Raised and groomed to take over his father’s position in the Mafia, Liam Sandoval has his own issues. Looking for any escape from his horrible life, he accepts the offer of a weekend of pleasure from Aaron. A mutual attraction ignites, and they realize a weekend will never be enough. But the growing relationship will be put to the ultimate test when enemies target Liam’s new weak spot—Aaron. Can they overcome the outside forces threatening to pull them apart?

REVIEW:

This was such a colossal disappointment and I was so excited for this one, based on the blurb and cover.  I’m one of those people that pretty much reads it all from the uber fluff to the super dark and gritty that might make a few people uncomfortable.  So a criminal who is owed a significant amount of money and doesn’t have any problems taking care of issues or ridding himself of nuisances, whether that be materials or people.  A father who gives his own son to this criminal as a payoff and the son a virgin.  Ahhhh yeah, this sh*t is going to be good!!!!  Except…it wasn’t.  It really, really wasn’t.  Where was the tension?  Where was the build-up of emotions and decisions?  Where were the characterizations for any of them?

No character no matter the description or the point of view read any differently.  It all felt very juvenile, extreme actions and emotions with no depth behind them, and the dialogue choppy.  Not to mention the overuse of internal musings accompanied by equally overused exclamation points and I begin to wonder if I’m reading someone’s teenage diary.  And why exactly that any time a character felt he was doing something he disliked he crapped on himself for being a “girl”.   Below are some of the many, many thoughts of the two main characters (excuse the cursing):

*Cry? Really, dude?  You’re turnin’ into a fuckin’ girl.

*Great, asshole, way to ruin the evening by getting all whiny.  Since you’re such a girl now, put on your big-girl panties and deal.

*Shut up and stop babbling.  You’re sounding like a damn woman again.  What the fuck is up with you?  Get this date going and then go fuck like a real man.

As if that’s not insulting and annoying enough, are we seriously calling genitals “Junior” now?

The relationship is insta-love, which is my big no. no. no.  But then that is accompanied by giggles, pouting, blushing, and internal screaming.

*“Aaron! Rein it in.” – I reach down and pinch my thigh to cool it down.  “Damn, that hurt!”

Let’s not go into the sex noises…OK, lets.   I can take sometimes an occasional “argh” or whatever in sex scenes, but a good old fashion groan/moan/gasp works fine, and when it becomes nonstop “argh”, “nghnn” and “unh”s I begin to laugh or get aggravated…or both.

The premise is awesome, and I think with several rounds of editing this could have gotten there, but it was so smothered in pet names, poor dialogue, etc. that it’s stagnant.  Just flat and not ready yet (IMO).  I wanted depth from the characters, I wanted torment/anger/resentment/that slow build to attraction & love and I got none of that.  I struggled to even finish this, but I’m hopeful that maybe in the future the author will write something more to my tastes.

Rating:

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