While I’ve been pounding away at the keyboard, Timmy brings you Part III of Raidean’s story, “Because It’s Time to Move On.” If you haven’t read Parts I and II yet, you can find them here. Thank you for writing this wonderful, heartfelt story and for helping to educate us, Timmy. I hope authorship always remains a part of your life. Well done!
Taylor and I need to talk. I know we do, but at this moment, I can’t. I’m mortified that he read my journal, and he knows my plans. He knows I plan to pay someone to be with me. Or maybe I should say planned, because his offer is one I have dreamed about. I have loved Taylor for four years as either a friend or boyfriend. I will probably always love him. But I’m not sure I can handle him breaking me again. I put my heart on the line once already, and to be honest, it’s still not healed. What can I tell him? I love you but I don’t trust you? I want this so bad. It’s an ongoing war in my head since yesterday when he confronted me. He wants to be my teacher. He wants to explore with me. He wants my love back. Snort. He never lost my love! I’m the one who lost his love. I don’t think I can keep doing this. I need to make a decision and stick with it, because there is no way I’m going to make it through this without a broken heart either way I go.
I can do this with him, and hope that everything works out. I can try to show him I can be a good boyfriend. A good lover. However, I can’t give him everything he wants. I know that, and at this point in my life, I have decided I don’t want a surgery. I am who I am, like my dad said. I was born this way, and I’m tired of thinking of myself as a freak. I want so badly not to see myself that way. God made me this way. So I need to try to embrace it. It isn’t going to be easy, but I’m prepared for that. I have spent the whole night thinking and looking at my life. I decided that though I may be different, I am still a good person. People will either like me or not, but I’m tired of being fake. It’s time for me to open my eyes and see that there is a big world out there. I don’t have to hide. What I need to do is find people who want to be around me and love me. I mean, I’m not stupid, I know damn well I will always be an oddity to any man who wants to be with me. I will never have the love life I want, but I hope I can at least find someone I can trust. I don’t really know if I can trust Taylor. There is also the small problem of me being a whole different person now. I need to decide how to explain this to Taylor, because earlier I had offered to get the surgery for him, and now I won’t be doing that for anyone but myself, if and when I am ready. Will he still want me? I won’t be able to give him everything he wants, but I still have a lot to offer. I learned this in the meetings I went to with other intersex people. They tell stories. They tell that life isn’t perfect, but they are normal, and they are happy. I can be happy too. I want that and I’m willing to fight for it. But is Taylor the one I should be fighting for? Can he ever truly be happy with someone like me? Continue reading here.
Raidean’s Story ©2015 Timmy Ashton. All Rights Reserved.
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Follow the burgeoning love of two teens during the worst year of their lives. Irish-born Declan David de Quirke II is the son of two ambassadors, one Irish and one American. He is ‘out’ to his parents but to no one else. French-born Jean Isidore de Sauveterre is also the son of two ambassadors, one Catalan and one Parisian. His four half brothers have been told to cure him of his homosexuality. Both teens have lost a parent in a London car bombing.
Declan and Isidore meet at the beginning of their senior year at a private academy in the United States. Declan is immediately smitten with Isidore and becomes his knight in shining armor. Isidore wants to keep what is left of his sanity and needs Declan’s love to do it. One is beaten, one is drugged, one is nearly raped, one has been raped. They are harassed by professors and police, and have fights at school, but none of it compares to running for their lives. When the headmaster’s popular son attempts suicide and someone tries to assassinate Declan’s mother, they are thrown headlong into chaos, betrayal, conspiracy, allegations of sexual coercion, even murder. And one of them carries a secret that may get them killed. Read Chapter One of Slaying Isidore’s Dragons
Όμορφη. Ómorphi. Greek. Meaning pretty
Pretty. adj. /pritē/ Pleasing by delicacy or grace
High school senior Michael Sattler leads a charmed life. He’s a star athlete, has great friends, and parents who love him just the way he is. What’s missing from his life is a boyfriend. That’s a problem because he’s out only to his parents and best friend. When Michael accidentally bumps into Christy Castle at school, his life changes in ways he never imagined. Christy is Michael’s dream guy: smart, pretty, and sexy. But nothing could have prepared Michael for what being Christy’s boyfriend would entail.
Christy needs to heal after years of abuse and knows he needs help to do it. After the death of his notorious father, he leaves his native Greece and settles in upstate New York. Alone, afraid, and left without a voice, Christy hides the myriad scars of his abuse. He desperately wants to be loved and when he meets Michael, he dares to hope that day has arrived. When one of Michael’s team-mates becomes an enemy and an abuser from Christy’s past seeks to return him to a life of slavery, only Michael and Christy’s combined strength and unwavering determination can save them from the violence that threatens to destroy their future together. Read an excerpt of Omorphi
Caleb had one mission in life.
To keep his boyfriend safe.
They met at ten, kissed at twelve, and were madly in love by eighteen. Caleb Deering is the captain of the swim team and the hottest senior in school. He comes from a loving home with a kind father and a caring, but strict, mother who is battling breast cancer. Nico Caro is small and beautiful, and has a father who rules with an iron fist—literally. One morning Caleb forgets himself, and he pecks Nico on the lips at school. A teacher sees them and tattles to the Headmaster. The accidental outing at school might be the least of their problems, because the ball set in motion by the school’s calls to their parents could get Nico killed. In the face of that very real danger, Caleb knows he has only one mission in life: to keep Nico safe. Read an excerpt of Safe.