Reviewed by Valerie

TITLE:  When We Were Fire on Fire

SERIES:  Italian Romance #2

AUTHOR:  Elen Chase

PUBLISHER:  Self-Published

LENGTH:  193 pages

RELEASE DATE:  August 7, 2021

BLURB:

Francesco doesn’t believe in second chances. Five years after an awful breakup, he’s determined to focus on his career and not let anything or anyone distract him from his goals. When his unpredictable ex suddenly comes back into his life, his brain knows he shouldn’t hope for a change, but his heart doesn’t want to listen.

Eric’s feelings have never wavered. Francesco is, and will always be, the love of his life. But love is not everything in a relationship, and Eric is painfully aware that even though he could be the person Francesco wants, he may not be the one he needs.

The festive atmosphere of Milan during Christmas time brings the two men together in a story about self-hate and self-love, and learning to trust again. Can you give your love to another, when you can’t even forgive or love yourself?

Content Warning:
This story includes mentions of suicide, abuse, and eating disorders.

REVIEW:

What was truly overwhelming is that Eric kissed me back like I was all he needed to live, which was mutual, because I was dying, and he breathed his life into me, until my mind was completely empty and there was nothing left in the whole universe but us.

This is what a love story should be.

When We Were Fire on Fire is an exquisite, multi-layered story about the complexities of Francesco and Eric as individuals, how the men were shaped by their parents, and how that made them incompatible as a couple when they first met in their early twenties. Now they get a second chance.

“We were just kids when we fell in love, unaware of how deeply scarred, broken and lonely we had been before finding each other.”

They are both still haunted by their breakup when fate reunites them five years later. Whether or not they can have another go at happily-ever-after relies on them escaping the internal dialogues wreaking havoc in their heads: the one that tells Francesco he’s worthless and unlovable, and the one that convinces Eric he ruins everything and belongs nowhere. He needs to realize he does have somewhere – someone – to call home.

I could probably write a dissertation on what I love about this novel. It wasn’t until I was about two-thirds into the book, though, that I realized what a truly special story this is. It’s gut wrenching; my heart broke over and over again for these men who have been shattered by emotional abuse and want so badly to be together but can’t seem to make it work. Francisco and Eric yearn to – need to – escape the deeply ingrained self-hatred and shame that keep them imprisoned, but they have to learn how. It’s a complex story with rich characterization.

“If I tried harder, if I were stronger, if I were more helpful, I could find some meaning to my life. I could be loved, even just standing on the sidewalk of the road to someone else’s happiness.”

There are a number of aspects similar to those I loved in When We Were Sea and Stars, including the secondary cast that’s so integral to the storyline. We first met the lovable Fra as Rob’s cousin in the aforementioned book. I can’t get enough of Rob and James so I enjoyed their involvement here. It was heartwarming to watch Rob, James, Betta, and Kim interact with each other and the main characters through their banter and teasing. Their roles are pivotal in that they provide undying love and support to Fra and Eric as they face such tumultuous times.

The gorgeous imagery Elen Chase constructs for her readers is another commonality. Knowing what a superb job she did in creating the vivid world in her previous book, I anxiously awaited her tour of Milan so I could once again vicariously experience a beautiful part of Italy. I found myself along for the ride as Fra and Eric bicycled through the streets of the city on a cold December night, visiting a medieval pizza and a 14^th century castle juxtaposed with colorful Christmas lights.

This book won’t appeal to everyone because the heat is almost non-existent. The sex is off-page, which disappointed me, but I can accept that’s not what this book is about. The passion here is expressed through how hard these men repeatedly fight for each other, longing so much to be together, but coming up against their fierce inner turmoil.

When We Were Fire on Fire was one of my most anticipated novels of the year because it is the follow-up to the spectacular When We Were Sea and Stars, one of my Best of 2000 books. My expectations were exceeded in this beautiful character-driven novel wrought with sadness but ultimately blessing us with the happy ending they so deserve. I fell in love with Francisco and Eric and hope you will, too.

RATING: 

BUY LINKS: 

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