I don’t consider myself an introvert, but I’m not an extrovert either. I have this love hate relationship with the holidays. I love seeing my family, having that big family dinner, hell I even like doing all the cooking, as hectic as that can be.
But I’m also glad when everyone leaves, and our lives return to normal. (or as normal as my life is, I suppose.) That creates this weird dynamic of wanting to invite everyone, but knowing what I’ll feel like toward the end of the day/night. Still, I almost always go with invite everyone.
This year we don’t get those choices. We’re home alone. Just us three. Which isn’t bad, because we are having our holiday celebrations just like everyone was here. But it’s not great. Especially for ‘lil q.
At 9, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t believe in Santa, but pretends because she thinks she’ll get more gifts. (She won’t.) Her grands are in their 80s or almost there, and aren’t going to be around forever. She’s lost one of the handful of holidays she’ll remember having them around.
That makes me sad. I have the best memories of my grandparents. I was lucky to have all four of them through my adult years. Given how late in life we had ‘lil q, she isn’t likely to have them around that long. Each of the holidays are that much precious because we won’t have as many together. Losing even one is upsetting.
Zoom/FaceTime/Google Meets are great for keeping in touch, especially since all of my family moved to the West Coast, but not for holidays. My in-laws are nearby, but we’re not exactly speaking this year.
To compensate, we’re trying to do more this holiday season. Working from home affords us more time to do things together. More decorations, more cookies, more watching holiday movies.
I’m not sure how ‘lil q will look back on this year’s holiday season, but I’m confident she’ll remember it. If the choices are wallow in what we don’t have or celebrate what we have, we’re going all in on celebrating. It probably won’t make up for the lost family memories, but hopefully it will create different ones we can keep up in the years to follow.
I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season. And I can’t wait until 2020 is in the rear-view mirror and we can see brighter days ahead
Until next month, stay safe and healthy.
~Andy
Andy Gallo:
Andy prefers mountains over the beach, coffee over tea, and regardless if you shake it or stir it, he isn’t drinking a martini. He remembers his “good old days” as filled with mullets, disco music, too-short shorts, and too-high socks. Thanks to good shredders and a lack of social media, there is no proof he ever descended into any of those evils.
Andy does not write about personal experiences and no living or deceased ex-boyfriends appear on the pages of his stories. He might subconsciously infuse his characters with some of their less noble qualities, but that is entirely coincidental even if their names are the same.
Married and living his own happy every after, Andy helps others find their happy endings in the pages of his stories. He and his husband of more than twenty years spend their days raising their daughter and rubbing elbows with other parents. Embracing his status as the gay dad, Andy sometimes has to remind others that one does want a hint of color even when chasing after their child.
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This was a tough summer and Thanksgiving. My mom is 94 and we couldn’t go see her, or spend a month on the Oregon coast, as we’d planned.
Texas is okay unless you ‘have’ to be there…then it’s just awful…except for family…who we could see very little of. I never realized exactly how many times we got together for a quick meal or hugs during ball games.
Now it’s just get out for groceries and doctor’s appointments.
Hug those you can, laugh with the rest, and look forward to a much better future. Above all stay safe!
It is indeed a tough year. We went out today to the National Arboretum in DC and met her BFF for a day of stomping around outside. It’s about as normal as we can get, but it’s good for her. As you say, we didn’t realize how much we did until we can’t do it.
Best wishes for the rest of the holiday season. And yes, be safe – everyone.