What’s the old saying? An army marches on their stomachs and shelterees cook to keep their sanity?

Well at least that’s how it goes around here since March 15^th. As the days, weeks, months spin drunkenly by like a poorly aimed bank shot across a hall of pool tables, we do what we can to stave off the impulse to go totally feral. Some are reading more (thank you!) and others are picking up new hobbies, playing music, crafting entire origami worlds out of junk mail. Around the Franks’ household we’re growing weird tomatoes and developing some new culinary chops.

We’ve mastered the corn tortilla—how perfect and satisfying. Delicious and fast. Easy to make with a soft dough that makes you want to stop the production line and play. Flour tortillas are still a work in progress, more flat bread than burrito wrap, but hot and lovely off the griddle, and a happy companion to the dahl TheGirl learned to make in New Zealand.

Yesterday it was tamales which will horrify anyone who actually knows what they’re doing. I tip my hat to you. Bless you. Because with only a cursory set of instructions, I guessed at the proportions for the masa harina, salt, fat, and hot water. We found the biggest bowl in the house and dumped all the masa, a fistful of salt, massaged in shortening, then some butter, and why not—a splash of olive oil at the end. I kept adding more and more liquid, massaging it in with my hands until it bore a distant relation to the YouTube video I’d barely watched.

I kept adding a splash of homemade enchilada sauce, stock, more boiling water—mixing by hand in fits and starts until my fingers burned and I dashed them cold water whenever I felt the need to scream. I kept at it until it was the consistancy of cornbread batter, making my daughter laugh as she had to turn the faucet on for me…my hands all battered and looking for a fryer.

Yeah, we pay the price for our enthusiasm, jumping in with only a cursory idea of where we’ll end up. (I highly recommend doing some research first, and uh…getting a recipe, and asbestos gloves…and maybe someone’s abuela to come teach you.)

Tamales make you work for your reward and it looks deceptively easy until it’s your hand full of wet husk and a spatula, spreading the mortar of corn mash into the perfect geometry of delicious potential. We made I think a million of them. Four fillings: Black Bean, fresh corn, Jalapeno Jack cheese and onion; garden fresh zucchini, goat cheese, cilantro, fresh jalapeno, and corn; Roasted yam, potato, pumpkin, jalapeno, habanero cheddar cheese, and enchilada sauce; grilled chicken, black bean, and enchilada sauce.

The motto in our home is: If you don’t make them cry, the food’s not hot enough.

The enchilada sauce is another achievement. I have it almost perfected—the balance between dried guajillo chilies and the roasted tomatoes and onions. Too much tomato this time to be perfect, but we seem to drink it by the cupful as the quarts disappear from the refrigerator, all the same…

I’m not sure what we’ll tackle next. I have a French cookbook on patisserie—in French. So that so keep me walking on the wild side. I’ll have to see if my rudimentary language skills hold up after all this time. But what could possibly go wrong when making croissants? Maybe some dodgy flavoring choices, sure, but I’m thinking a Mexican chocolate croissant…maybe throw in some candied jalepeno… It’ll be fun!

So go forth and make a mess. Eat something new. Take a chance. And celebrate what we have, think about what we could have…and do the right thing. Stay safe. Wear your rainbow masks with pride, and let’s take care of each other.

–LE

For more food fun. I’ve a new/old release this month. Tasty is my Chef/Detective, Opposites Attract Gay Romance, set in the Pacific Northwest.

Here’s a little taste of…Tasty. 

Black-balled & Blue-balled…Hotshot Chef Christian DeGuisse has been thrown out of NYC only to fly straight into the handcuffs of Portland Detective Andy Simmons. The Pacific Northwest won’t know what hit it as Christian attempts redemption by raising his last-chance-restaurant from the ashes, and stealing the heart of his cop. #KU

Don’t you just hate it when you accidentally out your celebrity boyfriend to a NY Times gossip columnist? So does culinary genius, Christian De Guisse.

After one teensy mistake, instead of searing the perfect steak or seasoning a mouth-watering sauce, Christian is on a plane out of town. The lure of redemption has Chris fleeing to the Pacific Northwest with the promise of a possible career-saving job. But if the decrepit Portland restaurant he’s been hired to redeem fails, then so will he. Being ridiculed as the washed-up boy toy of a celebrity chef would be a fate worse than death.

Andy doesn’t have good taste. In fact, he doesn’t taste anything at all. While making an arrest, Andy manages to collar the most mouthwatering of men. He’s irresistibly drawn to the appetizing chef. But Christian finds Andy’s liberal use of ketchup hard to swallow, and until Andy can clear him of any lingering suspicion, Christian will remain forbidden fruit.

Christian feels as if he’s jumped from the frying pan into the fire. His tasty morsel of a cop isn’t falling for his cooking charms, and the well-below 5-star establishment he’s trying to save is more mess than Michelin. Will the sour taste of Andy’s rejection be what finally destroys Christian’s hope for a new life?

 Please note:This edition features a new cover with no additional content, so no need to purchase if you’ve already read Christian and Andy’s story! If this is your first time meeting them you’ll find Tasty AFis a slow burn, opposites attract romance, that features a disgraced gourmet chef and the impatient cop who hungers for him. Previous edition Can This Be Realwas published by another publisher in 2014.

#KU #KindleUnlimited

Buy Here:

Amz Uni: https://books2read.com/u/4jWPjX

Amz US: https://amzn.to/2AtBELt

Buy Here:

Amz Uni: https://books2read.com/u/4jWPjX

Amz US: https://amzn.to/2AtBELt