Reviewed by Annika

TITLE: The Hate You Drink

AUTHOR: N.R. Walker

PUBLISHER: Blueheart Press

RELEASE DATE: May 23, 2019

LENGTH: 300 pages

BLURB:

Erik Keston, son of the Keston Real Estate empire, knows what it takes to be successful. Despite his inherent wealth, he holds his own. He works hard, he’s grounded, he’s brilliant. He’s also secretly in love with his best friend.

Monroe Wellman lost his parents three years ago and never grieved, never recovered. Inheriting the family company and wealth means nothing, and his spiral of self-destruction is widespread and spectacular. Dubbed Sydney’s bad boy, he spends more days drunk than sober, and the only person who’s stuck by him through it all is his best mate.

But when Monroe hits rock bottom, Erik gives him an ultimatum, and his entire world comes to a grinding halt. It’s not until the haze lifts that Monroe can truly see what he’s been searching for was never in the bottom of a bottle. It’s been by his side all along.

An 80,000-word friends-to-lovers story about fighting the demons within and trusting in the love that takes its place.

“Because when all you drink is hate, that’s all there is inside you.”

REVIEW:

The Hate You Drink was a roller coaster of emotions; angst, hope, despair, hurt, love, cravings and so much more, all wrapped up in a hefty dose of UST. The first part of this book broke my heart. It’s where we first meet Erik and Monroe. We see Erik desperately in love with his best friend. Feel the longing for Monroe to notice him, to feel the same way about him. We see Monroe doing everything he can to escape any and all feelings, feel how utterly lost he is, the devastation. How alcohol numbs it all, how it’s his escape. How he takes Erik for granted both in terms of always being there, but also to clean up his messes. He’s never held accountable for anything – until the ultimatum comes, alcohol or Erik. The goodbye almost killed me it was so raw emotional and heartbreaking. But it was also necessary, it was when Monroe hit rock bottom.

For the most part this book isn’t a love story. It’s always there in the background, but for the majority of it Monroe and Erik are miles and miles apart. No this book is about starting over, fighting addiction, fighting for yourself. It was honest and angsty and truly showed the impact addiction has on oneself and the people around you. It wasn’t romanticized in any way (cause let’s face it talking about sweats, cramps, vomiting and diarrhoea is not romantic). Sure I do believe it was simplified in many ways, but then again this was supposed to be a fictional romance novel and not a how-to book, so I’m good with that.

What this book touched upon in the beginning was that Erik and Monroe weren’t only dealing with one addiction – Monroe’s alcoholism, but also Erik’s addiction to Monroe. How he lived for him, his world revolved around him and that he didn’t have anything outside Monroe and work in his life. Saul (the therapist helping Monroe) mentioned this to Erik, and would work on it with him, but nothing really came of it. In the end Erik’s world was still only work and Monroe and while I loved them together I still felt like he should be allowed to be more, have something more. He was lost in all things Monroe.

He had his addiction, and he was mine.
His addiction to alcohol was killing him.
And watching him slowly spiral out of control, being so close to him but so far away, was killing me.
Addiction, in all its forms, fucking sucked.

The Hate You Drink has shown us a new side of Walker’s many and vast talents. It’s angstier and heavier than most of her books, but it’s so worth it in the end. Erik and Monroe’s happily ever after was a hard won fight, but one I’m glad to have been a part of.

I deserve to be loved and I also am worthy of giving love. Or that the love I have to give is worth something. I know it comes from a good place now. It’s organic and it beats inside my chest, and when I think of you, it beats double time, and when I see you, it becomes something else. I’m in love with you, Erik. I think I always have been.

RATING:

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