Reviewed by Becca

TITLE: Looking Forward

SERIES: Unconditional #2

AUTHOR: Michael Bailey

PUBLISHER: self-published

LENGTH: 258 pages

RELEASE DATE: August 21, 2018

BLURB:

Owen Hannity was nineteen when he lost almost everyone he thought he could trust. Each loss more painful than the last.
With the unwavering support of his best friend, Andy, Owen put the pieces of his life back together. Now, more than two decades later, Owen owns and operates a successful comic shop. Despite his modicum of success, he still feels like a shell of a man, carrying the emotional scars from his past.
Without warning, Owen’s past returns. Secrets come to light. Secrets that could either destroy Owen or finally give him the strength to re-evaluate everything he thought he knew about Andy, himself, and the way in which he views the world.
To see that he is truly worthy of loving himself and finally begin…
…Looking Forward.

REVIEW:

Wow. I had to stop and think about how to write this and I’m still not a hundred percent sure. It just blew my mind. I guess I’m having a book hangover. Just…wow. It also made me remember my own childhood. Although I’m not gay, I had a lot of the same family Dynamics and everyone suffers through some sort of loss. This book was so good. But it takes you through the wringer. Coming out and having to live in fear for your life. Hurting because the people who should love and support you are bigoted assholes. And then losing what you thought was the love of your life. And only being a teen when it all happens. It’s heart wrenching, and as a parent it makes me want to shelter these kids. Gah, I’m still reeling.

Owen knew it was a matter of time before something at home got worse. His stepmother knows he’s gay and it’s holding it over his head on whether or not to tell his father. Of course, Owen lives in fear because his father is brutal. Everything is physical. All he really has is Andy. His friend through everything. The man he’s in love with. But he’s had to hide it because he didn’t want to lose the only friend he has. He meets Andy’s cousin, Jack, and things seems to be going so well. But everything comes to a head. His father kicks him out, he loses almost everything, and Jack drops a bomb on him and leaves without a trace. He’s gone. And after being in love, he’s completely lost. He feels everyone is right about him. He’s just a queer. Nothing else. But Andy helps him put himself together and he moves on. With Andy as his best friend, he goes on with life. But years later and the past comes back. Along with some confessions and what really happened. It also brings some feelings long buried to light. And hopefully they can all be fixed before it’s too late.

No matter how many times I’ve heard it, there is a comment in the book that sticks with me. Love takes many forms. Friendships, parent/child, friends to lovers, that lightening love, etc. It what you do with those loves that matter. And when your view of love has been distorted, love is usually buried away.  When I first started reading about Owen and Andy, I wanted them together from the beginning. I mean, Owen was already half in love. Wasn’t sure about Andy though. But they were each other’s rocks. They were the only two who didn’t judge each other. They accepted each other as they were. Flaws and all. And it made for a beautiful long lasting friendship. When Jack came along, I thought, ‘yeah, maybe, okay’, but for me it was still about Andy. And when Jack left….who was there. The older they got the more I wanted to shake the crap out of both of them. They constantly circled each other but never pounced. Grrrrr. Then when Jack came back. Oh HELL no. Especially with as shady he was being.

For me, from the get go, it should have never been anyone but Owen and Andy. They had a bond, a connection like no other. They knew each other so well. They knew how they could speak to each other, what the other was feeling or if something was wrong. That takes years of closeness. Of truly being someone’s friend. They had this dance with each other. It wouldn’t make sense with any other but to them it was all perfect timing. As kids and especially with one just coming out, there needed to be a lot of growth and discovery. And if you aren’t careful, you could destroy a friendship with hormones and crap. But Owen and Andy were solid and I love them both so much.

This is one hell of a book. It doesn’t pull punches though. There is talk of abuse and such. Bigotry. Just general assholish people. But then again, when is life not filled with drama. But reading this is worth the time. I definitely recommend.

RATING: 

BUY LINK: 

amazon