Hi Love Bytes readers! It’s Donna here, ready to take my turn to share a 5 year anniversary post with you all.

I joined Love Bytes back when it was still The Blog of Sid Love. I was immediately made to feel welcomed by Sid and Dani and the wonderful team that was around back then. In an environment where people come and go often, there are still quite a few of us reviewers around from the “old days”. To me, the blog has become a family, and hell, we have fought like siblings at times! Pretty sure Dani has had to send us to our rooms a couple of times, right Vicki and Dan!? I have met some amazing people through writing for this blog; fellow reviewers, readers and authors alike. Some of them have become more than “book friends” and now they’re “real life” friends. Shit, Sean Kennedy even gets a hug now each time I see him, which is probably more than I allow my poor husband! The openness and love that I get from being a part of this genre has broken through my tendency to distance myself from people, and that’s something I’ll always be greatful for. It’s changed the direction that my life is taking.

It’s fair to say that I over think things. A hell of a lot. And I’ve been umming and ahhing over what to write for the last few weeks. But I’m going to have a go at saying what’s been on my mind.

As part of one of my uni collaborations last week, we spoke of the idea of “us” and “them”. Now, the subject was people with disabilities, but this concept could be applied to any minority group. The lecturer asked why we think in terms of us & them, and one of the answers struck me as being too true for comfort. Someone replied that if something bad happens to “them” it’s not as bad as if something happens to “us”. Because there’s a degree of separation there that means we don’t have to get as upset, we don’t have to get as angry, and most importantly we don’t have to get as involved.

I’m not saying that everyone does this, and I dare say most decent people do it unconsciously, but the trouble is that sort of disassociation makes it easier for the bad guys to win. And HEAs don’t happen when the bad guys win.

Sympathy doesn’t cut it. Sympathy isn’t the same as empathy, and empathy is what it takes for most people to care enough to make it their problem.

Being a part of this community has given me the drive to go back to university. I want to get my social work degree so I can better help LGBTQI youth. I was never homophobic, but before I actually knew I would never have roused myself to act. More than that, I’ve discovered friends who have opened my eyes to how oblivious I’ve been concerning other forms of discrimination. My Facebook feed is filled with articles about women’s rights, about people facing discrimination due to disability, religion or race. About the plight of refugees, and their treatment at the hands of the Australian Government.

What is great about this community is that it exposes us to issues beyond those faced by LGBTQI people. This is a space that people feel safe being themselves in, though we should definitely acknowledge that there will always be people who are going to fuck it up for others.

Below I’ve added three links. One is a clip from a movie. I’m sure most of you have seen this movie before; it’s John Cusack’s closing argument from A Time to Kill. I was only young the first time I watched this movie, but even then I realized how shocking his final sentence is. But the most shocking thing is, it worked. It made me realize that race really was a barrier because it made me see the situation differently.

The second link is to a short film called Jeremy the Dud. It shows a different reality, where the main actor is discriminated against and treated like a child because he is “without specialty”. He doesn’t have a disability like the majority of people around him. As with the first link, you know, rationally, that there is NO DIFFERENCE between “us” and “them” but seeing the roles reversed makes you realize that that’s not the way it works in reality.

The last link is to the website of an artist by the name of Marina Amaral. She adds color to historical photos. I found her work after I saw a photo she had colored of a child who had died in a concentration camp during WW2. We’ve all seen black and white photos of holocaust victims. But seeing this child in color, seeing her look like you or me, made her more than a past tragedy. It provided that connection that couldn’t be swept aside.

But what I’m trying to say, the point of this post, is that we have to find a way to break down that barrier. To find a way to move beyond sympathetic responses and uncover that burn to fight for what is right.

Some people may feel it naturally, some people, myself included, might have to search a little harder, but if you find your empathy, you’ll act to change the world.

(Sorry, but both videos will start with ads, and trigger warning for the first clip – it contains a graphic verbal description <fictional> of the assault, including the rape and attempted murder of a child)

A Time to Kill – Closing Argument

Jeremy the Dud

Marina Amaral Photo Colorization

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