Oh, look! It’s another blog on a topic that’s been run into the ground! How wonderful for all of you who are able to read this!
Yeah, okay. Enough with the snark.
Mostly.
Serious question.
Can an author have an opinion?
Let me expound on that a little bit.
Say there is an Author and there is a Reader. Said Reader buys Author’s book, thus providing author with compensation. Reader enjoys (or doesn’t) the Author’s book. Reader writes a good (or bad) review of a book. Reader interacts with author on social media pages. Reader participates, author participates, and everything is peachy keen.
Then!
Then.
Drama llama happens, as it seems to do every few months (which, how strange is that? One moment everything will be fine and then EXPLOSION OF FEELINGS AND ANGER AND OH MY GOD I HATE EVERYONE and then it goes away for another few months before it starts all over again). People start discussing a topic that is volatile. There are valid points made on both sides. There are absolutely fucking stupid points made on either side. (I read the term “straightsplaining” in response to an author’s post, and thought it was highly accurate—but hey, I’m only a guy who identifies as homoromantic, so what do I know.)
So Reader interacts with Author in discussing volatile topic.
Reader believes one thing. The author believes the opposite.
Author says so.
Reader immediately says they will boycott Author and will never read another book by Author and will tell everyone they know to boycott Author and maybe even other authors that Author may even be remotely associated with.
(Disclaimer: this isn’t about me in the slightest. I mean, you all see my Facebook posts. I post about gay unicorns and my weird Ted Kaczynski beard I’ve got going on right now. Every now and then I get ranty, but it’s usually over something dumb and inconsequential.)
So.
Can an author have an opinion?
Of course!
Anyone can. That’s the fun part about opinions. You can have one. I can have one. Everyone gets to have one!
They’re like assholes in that every now and then, they get messy and gross and shit goes flying everywhere.
The problem with author’s having an opinion is that they are essentially hurting their business by having one, because make no mistake, authors may be kind and courteous and fun to talk to, but authors are also about making money. For a lot of us, this is our livelihood. Some of us do it for our sole income (still scary!). So when an author has an opinion on something that is essentially a shit storm, the author runs the risk of alienating their reader base.
Sucks, right?
But it’s the right of a Reader, as it should be.
A Reader has the right to buy any book they want.
A Reader has the right to say whatever they want.
A Reader has the right to never read a book by an author whose opinion they disagree with.
Is that fair?
Sure. As a Reader, I can totally see that.
As an Author?
I have a harder time seeing it, but understand it for the most part.
Do you know how many times I’ve had to bite my tongue these past few weeks? I can’t even begin to tell you. I’ve seen posts from authors that I just want to slap upside the head and ask just what the fuck do they think they’re doing? They’re speaking on a topic they have no understanding on and it shows.
I’ve seen posts from readers who are saying BOYCOTT THIS AUTHOR 4LIFE BECUZ REASONS that I just want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, while asking what exactly do they hope to achieve by doing that? Even though I get why they are saying what they are.
Readers can say whatever they want.
Authors can have opinions.
But it can get a little fucky after that.
Author weighs in on an argument that multiple Readers are involved in. Some Readers don’t like Author’s opinion. Mud is slung. Names are called. Feelings are hurt. There is a crap ton of anger.
The strange part about it?
I don’t think some of these people arguing back and forth even remember what they’re arguing about. The original issue is pushed to the back burner because someone has been OFFENDED and therefore, the OFFENSE takes over and becomes the main focal point.
So, what was the point of all of this?
Here are my opinions.
(Oooooh.)
People need to calm the fuck down. (And yes, people are going to be upset that I said that–who are you to tell me to calm down?!) But seriously. Calm the fuck down. You can still make a point while being civil.
People need to start listening to what the other side is saying instead of trying to talk over what is being said. Just because you’re shouting in caps doesn’t mean your opinion matters more.
Authors: have opinions. At your own risk.
Readers: you get to do that too.
(Side opinion—the author that wrote the book that started all of this is probably sitting back and counting the money coming in. For real. Bad publicity = Good publicity. Always. Trust me. I would know. Keep that in mind.)
I debated even using the term Gay For You in this blog post. I debated whether not I should even give an opinion on the matter. Does my opinion really matter? You’ve probably read a crapload on this issue over the last few weeks as it is. I’m just another voice in a sea of hundreds.
But in the end, I decided just to go for broke.
So, here are my specific opinions.
I don’t think the original intent of Gay For You was to cause erasure. But now that it has been brought up as that, it needs to be addressed. Civilly, of course, but addressed nonetheless. Because it can be harmful. There is such a thing as bisexual erasure. There is such a thing as biphobia. Strangely enough, gay men can be just as biphobic (if not more) as straight people can. When people say they believe they are being marginalized, others should listen.
But TJ! you might be saying. It’s a romance! It’s just a fantasy!
Sure. You might be right about that.
But the LGBTQ+ community isn’t here to be your fantasy.
I’m not going to get into the whole MM fetishizes gay men argument right now. That’s a whole other topic. I will say, though, that this genre is not just comprised of cis het women, and anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong. Yes, there are more straight women reading in this genre than any other group, but they are not the entirety, even if they are the majority. But you do not get to use the argument that this is a genre built by women for women, and therefore, those are the only arguments that matter. Yes, this is an opinion, and I’ve spent a thousand words advocating for the ability to have those. The irony is not lost on me. But there is a difference between having an opinion and being flat out wrong. Saying cis het women’s opinions are the only ones that matter because they are the MM genre is wrong.
(Also, don’t explain to someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ how to be LGBTQ+. Chances are they know better than you.)
Another opinion. Last week, a person who works for my publisher, DSP, posted on Facebook asking for readers favorite Gay For You story, right in the middle of all of this. I thought that was in poor taste and shouldn’t have happened. I respect this person who has done so much for me, but I cannot agree with that move. I didn’t understand the point of it, nor did I approve of it.
(Because, you know, my approval matters.)
(Screamed the tiny speck of dust.)
Lastly, Gay For You doesn’t exist in real life.
It doesn’t.
It doesn’t.
If you go thirty years and suddenly find yourself attracted to a person of the same sex for the first time in your life, great! Good for you. I hope everything goes well with that and you find what you are looking for. But you are attracted to someone of the same sex, most likely having gone through life being attracted to someone of the opposite sex. You are bisexual. Or you are demisexual. Or pansexual. Or some other –sexual. You are not Gay For You-sexual. Pick a label, don’t pick a label. Whatever works. But don’t confuse genre tropes for real life.
I am an author. I get to have opinions.
I understand the risks.
But I also respect your right to have an opinion so that we can have honest discourse. I like hearing other points of view. I may not agree with them, but that’s life, I guess. What I cannot condone is the vitriol that is going back and forth. I worry about what that could potentially mean for the future of the genre we read and write in. If we can’t even have a coherent conversation between ourselves, how can we be expected to be taken seriously in the literary world as a whole?
***
When TJ Klune was eight, he picked up a pen and paper and began to write his first story (which turned out to be his own sweeping epic version of the video game Super Metroid—he didn’t think the game ended very well and wanted to offer his own take on it. He never heard back from the video game company, much to his chagrin). Now, over two decades later, the cast of characters in his head have only gotten louder, wondering why he has to go to work as a claims examiner for an insurance company during the day when he could just stay home and write.
Since being published, TJ has won the Lambda Literary Award for Best Gay Romance, fought off three lions that threatened to attack him and his village, and was chosen by Amazon as having written one of the best GLBT books of 2011.
And one of those things isn’t true.
(It’s the lion thing. The lion thing isn’t true.)
Blog: http://tjklunebooks.blogspot.com
Thank you TJ! I love your post as this is pretty much what I’ve been saying. First everyone needs to calm the fuck down. It’s a sad sad day when people can’t shut up and listen to one another or disagree without being disagreeable or RESPECT one another. Quite honestly my recent thought was that author/reader interaction might not be such a good thing after all. Lastly I seriously wonder if everyone remembers what the fighting was about. This is hurting all sides: readers, authors and people who want to know more/advocate. I’m not boycotting anyone but the nastiness I’ve seen recently has definitely made me interact way less with people – and they may have had valid points but I just had enough of the mud slinging.
Keep up the great work and kudos for being levelheaded (common sense).
Great post, thank you for writing it. I’m finding myself getting ever better at and more comfortable while sitting on my hands. Both as a reader and a writer I’ve decided it’s just not worth the time and (potential) pain any more. Personally I’d be delighted if we could just get rid of all labels and see each other as humans. As soon as we realise every single person is unique, we can stop worrying about whether or not they behave according to the strict rules as set by society (or readers). I DO get that those same labels are a huge comfort for some, a place to call home at last. But I can’t escape the feeling that ultimately they do as much harm as they do good.
As for genre-tropes vs real life; I’m still searching for my first werewolf 🙂
I heartily agree with all of the above. As an author and reader of M/M the constant arguments within the genre are so toxic, they make me want to back away…hide in a corner and rock myself to sleep.
“What I cannot condone is the vitriol that is going back and forth. I worry about what that could potentially mean for the future of the genre we read and write in.” TJ Klune, Voice of Reason.
YES YES YES,
Its sad.
The internet makes me sad.
The way people treat each other makes me sad.
As an author i have learned that reviews are not for me. I avoid looking, (unless a reader sends me a 5 star review) I would like to interact with readers, however, shit storms like the one in the past weeks make it more likely that i won’t. They are EXHAUSTING, and they take away from writing time. (and reading time)
I will also avoid reading books by authors who behave like assholes on social media, no matter how lauded and fabulous their books are. If they mud sling or are always in the midst of the shit storms, I don’t want to know.
As a reader, just because i pick up a book, it doesn’t mean i want to know the authors opinion about everything under the sun.
In the end- all of these shouting matches are just more content that will vanish into the the abyss of online comments.
Please,people, spend your time more wisely, life is too short for this bullshit.
TJ, I just wanted to say that I respect your opinions … and I also agree with them. Thank you for sharing.
Sigh. What a mess. Thank you for speaking to this topic so eloquently. I think that the word “offended” may not be strong enough, though. When someone (especially someone we respect, like, say- an author) makes a statement that is Beyond Boneheaded, and cruising into Wrong, Wrong, Wrong- we can very rightfully feel Pretty Damned Hurt by it. And, being human, might respond with an Emotional Lash Out of Doom. And, if said author-person is on the receiving end of the E.L.O.O.D., THEY might feel blindsided by what they perceive is a Personal Attack, and also feel hurt, and retaliate with a Well This Wasn’t Written For You, So There, without even evaluating the VERY valid points made within the E.L.O.O.D. Then, everyone starts screaming, and taking sides, and insulting each other some more. Hurt people do stupid things. People do have the right to feel hurt. But (as grown ups), we also have the responsibility to stop, step back, and evaluate what we want from the situation. We also can….on both sides….acknowledge that we MAY have reacted in anger (if we did), and apologise for any potential hurt feelings, WITHOUT compromising on the merit of our arguments and the necessity of our points. And, we can also accept said apology, apologise in turn, LISTEN TO EACH OTHER, and TRY OUR BEST NOT TO DO IT AGAIN. We’ll fail, of course, because we are only human, but maybe next time it won’t take days of vitriol and bloodshed to it figure out.
Once again you are the voice of reason TJ. Great post.
Ok good 🙂 Makes sense to me!
Excellent post, TJ.
“I will say, though, that this genre is not just comprised of cis het women, and anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong.”
This is an important point — and it works in both directions.
Not all readers of mm are cis het women — AND not all writers of mm are cis het women. And the GFY trope was NOT created solely by cis het women, either. As has been pointed out on other blogs, GFY-type scenes have been a significant part of gay porn for decades; and some of the most successful mm authors are LGBTQ. So it seems rather odd to blame cis het women for the problems with the trope. (I’m not saying that YOU are blaming cis het women for it — but others have.)
“But the LGBTQ+ community isn’t here to be your fantasy.”
Sure it is — in the same sense that the Navy SEAL community is, or the billionaire community is, or the abused-kid-learning-to-love community is, or the dedicate-doctor community is. Any identifiable community is fuel for fiction, whether that community is oppressed or privileged.
“Lastly, Gay For You doesn’t exist in real life.”
Sure it does, at least in its essence. In fact, there’s a “I’m from Driftwood” video that was posted on LGBTQNation just last week depicting a somewhat similar scenario, where one gay twin realized early that he was gay, but the other one thought he was straight until he was 18 and a specific guy asked him to go drinking with some female friends and then took him home. Sure, the trope has a bad name — it would obviously be more accurate as “Bi For You” or something similar — but is a bad label really a sufficient reason to trash a whole trope? The trope when done well is essentially a tale of enlightenment, of self-discovery — and isn’t that worth supporting?
Nice post. I think it’s totally fine for both parties to have an opinion and to share that opinion. There will always be someone who will find an issue with something said or how they interpreted what was said. There is a fine line between love and hate and it’s easy enough to cross the line when the individual has a strong opinion and wants to act immature about it. Sure the person may boycott something advocate it but people have a mind of their own and will decide how they will proceed it. Personally if a friend was to boycott an author kept on nagging on and on about it. I would support her by listening but would probably still buy the author’s works if I loved them.
… as an equal opportunity cross genre reader reader without a lable …
feel free to state your opinions I will still read whatever I want to read and not what anyone else feels I should or shouldn’t read however thought through their opinions are. So dear author say what you want – your books count and dear fellow reader rant opinionate still the book counts
Now I’m waiting for an amendment to the already mile long American? disclaimer along the line of “not only the persons but also the plot is fictional, beware that this book does not depict reality and may cause discomfort to people suddenly being confronted by real life when done reading.”
Excellent post, Mr. Klune. I concur with you.
Thanks for adding your voice to this conversation, TJ.
You, Nathan Burgoine and KJ Charles each have shown in your posts on this topic how powerful civil discourse can be. Sometimes it takes courage and emotional maturity to be civil when conversing about highly charged issues. I’m thinking that’s when civilty is more important than the opinion being presented, no matter how well considered an opinion it might be.
Thanks again.
Yep. GFY is a fantasy trope. As such, fine. It is not an orientation.
Many years ago I learned that if I like an author’s work avoid, at all costs, learning too much about them personally. Too many times at conventions, in articles, etc. an author will cop an attitude or open their mouth and stupid falls out. Authors can do serious, long term damage to their readership with little to no thought. Internet rants, fights, character destroying crap hurts everyone. The net has a long memory.
Karen, thank you! This was a hard lesson to learn but you’ve summed it up accurately. I need to separate my love of books from my “love” of the author. Liking a book doesn’t mean I’ll like the person who wrote it.
Very well thought out and written article. ?
I agree with most of what you’ve written here, but I have to say that this last shit storm in this genre has finished it for me. Reading through the comments on a recent Facebook post on said shit storm by Abi Roux, made me feel depressed and like I really don’t want to be a part of it any more when everyone is attacking each other over opinions. There is fault on all sides but when authors such as Abi Roux and Santino Hassell respond to comments with such vitriol and disrespect to anyone who does not share their views, well, it leaves me with a very bad taste in my mouth and no desire to spend my money in this genre anymore. Life is too short to constantly be faced with this bullshit every time I log in to a social media account.
Like this post says, everyone has an opinion and it would serve both authors and readers to remember that and at least try to show respect for each others view point. I may well come back to the genre at some point, but I will never buy books by Roux or Hassell again because of the way they handled themselves over this.
I understand the whole “cis-het-white ladies can’t tell me how to be queer” thing people are squawking about right now. I get it and I agree. BUT, I also don’t need a cis-bisexual man or a cis-questioning woman or ANYBODY ELSE telling me how to be queer. I’m pretty sure I can write my own How to Be Queer manual and apply it to my own life just fine. Abi, Santino, & other white-knight shit-starters, please sit down and shut up. And please stop talking about “blood money” while you’re over there living in the house Ty & Zane bought. Do a long-term (read:lifelong) drug regimen on a budget; make hard choices about what you can do without while the people who profit from the meds get richer and richer. And then? We’ll discuss what blood money is and what it is not. You might even gain a better perspective on privilege — which is good since people loooooove to throw that word around.
And I know the letters and the labels and the pronouns are important, but, damn, I’m 34, trans, bi, HIV+, and single. Also? I’m not mathculine :). People usually use my labels to exclude/dislike/dismiss me BEFORE THEY EVEN KNOW ME. People use my labels to tell me what bathroom I can use in public. I like my labels and I’m not ashamed of them, but they’re used against me sometimes. So if you say you hate labels, I feel you. If you need them because they make you feel included or whatever, that’s cool, too. Just know that a label doesn’t make you an expert on every other person who shares it.
Lastly, I love books where a man is willing to upend a life in the closet because he’s sooooo in luuuurve with another man. But does actual gay-for-you happen in real life? Maybe, but I don’t think so. People don’t just go gay. Same-sex attraction might be hidden/repressed/ignored until later in life, but I’m pretty sure it’s always there, like, from birth. I think.
P.S. I rarely remember to check back after I comment somewhere. Attempts to draw me into an argument will likely be futile. :))
Just going to leave this here: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/tone-policing-and-privilege/
I get that we don’t want people to be dicks, but I still think we need to be careful of tone policing.
I agree thought that that GFY is a cis-het-female-fetish trope and not a real thing (btw, was I supposed to say that in a nicer way? When is tone policing necessary?)
“I agree thought that that GFY is a cis-het-female-fetish trope”
Except that it isn’t the sole domain of cis het females. As a gay male author pointed out on another blog, GFY-type scenes have been popular in gay porn for decades.
Interesting. Maybe it’s just highly predominant with cis het females? Or maybe they fetishize it in a different, more destructive way? Maybe there’s an underlying weirdness happening there that’s more offensive?
“Maybe it’s just highly predominant with cis het females? Or maybe they fetishize it in a different, more destructive way? Maybe there’s an underlying weirdness happening there that’s more offensive?”
Why do **any** of these things have to be true?
Um. Because pretending it isn’t problematic is pointless and it’s smarter to try to suss out what the real issue is rather than pretend there isn’t one?
“Because pretending it isn’t problematic is pointless and it’s smarter to try to suss out what the real issue is rather than pretend there isn’t one?”
But that doesn’t track. All of the possibilities you mentioned place the blame on cis het females. But why do the proposed problems with GFY need to be laid at the feet of cis het females at all?
For instance — we can agree that GFY frequently sins through bi-erasure. But why blame cis het females for bi-erasure? Why does there need to be any “blame” at all? Why not simply go straight for the **solution**, and leave out the finger pointing altogether?
In the case of bi-erasure, it’s easy to fix — simply ask authors to include the concept of bisexuality when they write what is commonly labeled GFY. Additionally, we can ask authors to use a more inclusive term — OFY, BiFY, Self-Discovery, Broadened Horizons, whatever. There’s no need to blame anyone for anything; it’s much easier to agree on solutions when people aren’t blaming each other.
Nope. I think blame is necessary. The source of the problem is just as important as finding the solution. Trying to solve a problem without knowing the source of the problem is circulatory at best, if not incredibly pointless and non-progressive.
“Nope. I think blame is necessary.”
Why?
If I have a splinter, I don’t need to know whether the splinter came from an oak board or a pine branch. I just need to pull the splinter out.
If I think slavery is a Bad Thing, I don’t need to know what culture or race first practiced it in world history. I just need to pass and enforce laws against it.
Now, I agree with you that “knowing the source of the problem” can often be helpful — but that is not the same thing as blame. For instance, it has been pointed out by LGBT commenters on another blog that one source of bi-erasure has been a past tendency of some gay men and women to call themselves bi rather than gay, because bi was seen as less extreme than gay and therefore more socially acceptable. Does that mean those gay people were bad people, or they did a bad thing by protecting themselves? No, of course not. It isn’t a matter of “blame”.
Oh, man, please don’t bring slavery into this. I’m not even going to touch on the naiveté of that statement. I can’t.
Look, we obviously disagree, that’s cool. I think it’s good to call people out on their shit, you rather just.. not.. or something I don’t even fully understand, but good look to you on that. Seriously.
“I think it’s good to call people out on their shit, you rather just.. not.. or something”
Kind of right. I’d rather work to solve a problem than stand around looking for people to blame. I personally think finding solutions are more productive than witch hunts.
As a reader, I jusat want to read books by authors I respect. I follow them on twitter to learn about upcoming books but lately there’s been so much ranting I’ve quit following. Not because I won’t continue to buy their books but because I see only one side of the rant, same author typing out ranting bullets. There may be a perfectly good reason but I’m not spending my reading time trying to find them.
Thank you, TJ! Your post is indicative of why you are so loved and respected in this community. I agree 100%. Write on 😉 !!!