Love Bytes says hello to author Geoffrey Bauernfeind joining us today here at our blog !

Blurb:

Twenty years go by quickly and there are moments when you think back and relive some of the good times you shared. Now and then there has been contact, but vague and brief.

Then, one day, you meet and those old feelings resurface. But there is also fear. Apprehension. Questions. He has friends. You have friends. Do you want to see this person? What could he possibly want? Is a reconciliation possible? Do you really want to rekindle that lost love? And if so, at what cost?

Patrick and Ben were more than friends before they went their separate ways. In the years that followed, Patrick stayed true to himself and Ben married. Patrick searched for happiness. Ben seemingly had it all. Now Patrick and Ben, currently divorced, meet at a fair, and suddenly Patrick is thrust into Ben’s life once again. He has no idea what he is getting himself into because, as much as Patrick desires Ben and vice versa, there are skeletons in both cupboards and both must make sacrifices in order to be together.

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The stray light from inside caught Ben’s naked form. Sure, he was older, we both were. His body did indeed have a few extra pounds, not too many. He filled out well and in proportion from what I could make out. I stared at him, thinking about how much I would like to feel and touch all the familiar places and caress the new.

Inside, he pointed to the bathroom without turning around. “We’re hooked into the city water now. You can rinse off and grab a towel. I’ll see what’s in the kitchen.” He turned and alighted the stairs, his bare ass flexing. I couldn’t look away even if I had wanted to.

In the shower, I calmed down. If he were teasing me, he was doing a good job. On the other hand, I was the one who wanted to go swimming. What did I expect to happen? As much as Grant told me I was in control, it didn„t feel like it. I felt like I was on a collision course, unable to slow down or turn aside.

I was toweling off when the door opened a crack.

“You done?” he said through the opening. I wrapped a towel around myself.

“Yep, you can have it now,” I said casually. He opened the door and quickly crossed behind me into the shower. The foggy glass obscured any further exploration of his body.

“Throw your bag in my old room. I ordered a pizza. Just sign for it if it gets here before I„m out.” I could see from his movements he was soaping up. I had to leave before my towel wouldn’t stay snug against me any longer.

His old bedroom had changed. A larger, adult sized bed had replaced the small, single one. Pictures had replaced posters. It had become a mature man‟s room, not a horny teenager’s. I put on shorts first; foregoing underwear then turned and saw Ben at the door. I stepped back in surprise.

He blushed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s ok.” I quickly pulled on a shirt. I hated being exposed. He passed by me to the closet and I stepped back to let him by and as he loosened his towel, I returned to the kitchen, leaving my socks next to my bag and dirty clothes on the bed.

I found a soda in the fridge and wandered into the family room. Except for the stars reflected in the water, it was completely dark outside. Leaving the lights off inside, I sat on the couch. It was new but in the same space where Ben and I would sit and watch movies. Maybe we could watch one before going to bed. Something fun and distracting. Something so I didn’t have to think or let my mind wander into hoping.

The doorbell rang followed by Ben calling down he would get it. Shortly after, he carried the pizza in and set the plates on the coffee table.

“It’s so dark,” he said, turning on a single lamp. Like me, he was barefoot, wearing shorts and a tee shirt.

“Dig in,” he said as he flopped himself down next to me.

We sat crossed legged, leaning back on opposite arms on the sofa but facing each other talking, easy and relaxed. I was able to look him over and not feel self-conscious about it.

“So, tell me about your friends,” he said taking a sip.

“Well, there’s Alec. We met years ago. He works in the offices across from me. At first, I was intimidated by him. Alec is so different to me. Now, he’s like a little brother. Grant’s cool, keeps Alec under control.”

“Grant?” “His husband.” “Alec and Grant are married?” “2009. In Iowa. Jake and I were witnesses.” “Jake. The guy who called you.” “Yep, like I said he’s real cool. He even threw them a bachelor party.” “And he’s straight,” he said.

“Definitely.” “Does that mean you’re definitely gay?” It had been a while since I had been asked directly but it still made me as uncomfortable as the first time. I looked down. It had always been my size, I think. People assumed I was straight because of how big and tall I was. I had always wondered how many potential lovers I never had a chance to lose because they were too afraid to ask. I decided to answer the question the same way I had before.

“I thought you knew already,” I said quietly.

“Well, I thought so… you never actually told me. You never mentioned anyone… I’m glad you did.” He was so quiet and warm at the same time. I didn’t say anything right away.

“Anyone else? Anyone… special?” I shook my head. “Are you ok?” “Fine.”

He put his hand on my foot.

“I’m happy you have good friends,” he said, changing the subject slightly.

“Me too.”

I noticed he didn’t pull back his hand; in fact, he was gently rubbing my foot with his thumb. It felt so good. I looked into his eyes. A grin spread across his face and a blush crept over me.

He reached out with his other hand and took mine in his.

“I missed you,” he said softly.

“I missed you too.” I finally confessed. If I had said it before, I didn’t remember, but it felt good to finally say it now. There were so many other things I wanted to confess but I didn’t want to interrupt the mood. I reached out and stroked his calf. He looked more playful, a little smug even. There was indeed more I needed to say.

“I want to be with you,” I could hear myself say, “…always wanted to be with you.” He positively glowed, eyes sparkling. “There are a lot of years in between. We are different. I’m different. I need to take this slow.”

He nodded. I took my hand off his leg and stopped him from rubbing my foot. I held both his hands in mine as I gazed into his eyes, lost in his beautiful smile. I’m not sure how long we sat like that, staring at each other.

We seemed to decide to get up at the same time. I slowly walked across and up to the main floor. I could hear him turning off the light. I made it into the bedroom. My clothes were neatly stacked with my bag on his dresser, my shoes next to his by the door. He came in behind me and nuzzled into my back. He reached around, brought his arms across my chest. I held them tightly as he pressed up against me and felt another reason to say something.

“Before we do anything,” I said, realizing we already had, to a certain extent, “I just want to hold you. I want to be happy to be with you. I want that memory first.”

I pulled him around to look at me. He had a small pout on his face.

“Just give me tonight.”

He nodded back with a sigh. “Whatever you want,” he said quietly. “I‟ve waited this long, I can wait for you to be ready.”

I leaned down and kissed him firmly on the lips.

Maybe he thought he could convince me to “go all the way” later, maybe he would. Right now, I wanted to hold him tightly and not let go, the way I had been dreaming about for so long.

He moved first, tugging at my shirt, wanting to pull it up. I gently pushed his hands away.

“Why?” he whispered.

“Slow, I just want to hold you,” I whispered. “Let’s lie down.”

I lay on my back and he snuggled in beside to me. I pulled him close, wrapping my arm around him. He immediately tugged at my shirt and I stopped him.

“What?” “I‟m so out of shape.” “Stop it. We all have a gut. You look great.” I opened my eyes and the light blinded me for a moment. He must have noticed. He easily slipped away from me, and turned the light off.

I could see his shadow taking off its shirt before returning to me. I pulled him in close and kissed him on the forehead as he settled once more at my side. This time, he was a little more forthright about wanting to touch me. He reached under my shirt, stroking my chest and abdomen. He caressed me so genuinely, so carefully. We cuddled and caressed, holding each other, kissing all night.

I woke up first. The sun had risen and the room was lit up. I could hear him breathing lightly beside me. Being careful to be gentle, I rolled onto my side facing him.

He was resting peacefully, his face and body relaxed. The sheet had drifted off his chest and I reached over, gently gliding my hand over the black hair, like he had done to me last night. It was so soft. I noticed a gray hair and almost giggled out loud. I noticed a few others, not too many yet. We were both older and that was okay; he, however, had the evidence growing on his body. It was beautiful.

I pulled the sheet off the lower half of his body to see what I hadn’t last night. I felt like a kid again. I felt now like I had then, the first time I got to see one that wasn’t my own. It rested peacefully; unlike mine.

Although this is his debut story, Geoff has been writing on and off since he was a teenager, albeit for himself. When he finally took the plunge in 2012 and put his first story on the internet, he was surprised and overwhelmed by the positive and encouraging response. Geoff was born, raised, and lives in the Midwest and has spent most of his life driving between Chicago and Milwaukee. Currently, he lives in a little house, in a little town, outside another little town, with three cats, a dog, and his very supportive “Husbear.”

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