From Short to Long

So back in 2012, when I was still able to participate in the MM Romance Group’s Love is Always Write event, I was lucky enough to snag Fehu’s prompt:

Dear Author,

He was sent to be the consort for the high king. Allen is a prince taught in the arts of diplomacy and politics but not fighting. The high king is a warrior and his dead lover was his first general. He does not want anyone who cannot wield a sword as well and only fight with words. That’s just not someone that he wants to help him raise his children. So when Allen is presented before him, the high king does not chose him to be his next consort. What is a rejected consort to do? Allen cannot return home, since he was sent to cement a treaty between his kingdom and the one of the high king. The army is hiring and Allen asks to be a part of the next expedition, to train to be a warrior and tries to forget the king, who rejected him, without knowing him. Can those two come to together and find love?

Now I knew from the start that the full, lengthy story such a fun prompt merited wasn’t going to be doable between my own busy schedule and the time constraints of the event. So I shelved the bulk of my ideas and condensed what was left into a 12k short story. I was pleased with it, and hoped Fehu would be, and was completely humbled by how many people loved the story. I don’t usually draw so many readers in so short a span of time.

But as much as that made me want to immediately work on the long version, I had other things to finish first. So I behaved myself until about the end of 2014, when I spent 2-3 months writing and editing the extended version. A 12k short turned into 109k novel. I’ve revised/rewritten stories, but never quite like this. It was a hell of a lot of fun. So how does it happen?

First, I started with the prompt itself and laid out the key parts:

*Consort, skilled in diplomacy and politics

*Military-focused king with a dead husband who was an excellent soldier

*King refuses to marry anyone who is not an equal of late husband

*Consort coldly rejected, but can’t just give up and go home

*Consort joins the military to prove his worth

And then I discarded/modified the elements of the prompt that wouldn’t work as is. Having Allen, the consort, enlist in the military would have been cumbersome and time consuming. That spurred the creation of the mercenaries that are pretty central to the story, which in turn led to some key characters and added to the world building.

The politics and diplomacy requirement led to Allen’s polyglot skills (which in turn contributed to more world building), but the treaty element in the original prompt was altered to a combination of his kingdom losing a key chance at prestige and Allen’s own pride.

High King’s Sarrica’s desire for a soldier husband created the conflicts and hostilities the empire faces, building up the history and world further, bringing a whole lot of elements together and giving the whole thing enough shape to start writing.

The short story was kept brief by confining it to brief scenes: Allen choosing to join up with the mercenaries in the aftermath of a humiliating rejection. Allen’s capture and the effect his absence has. Sarrica coming to rescue him, the realization Allen is much more than he seems, ending with the start of their relationship.

They so don’t get it that easy in the long version, ahahahaha. It starts with Allen getting rejected, but includes further (and equally failed) encounters before Allen finally makes the reckless decision to join up with the mercenaries. The point where the short story ended is only the beginning of Allen and Sarrica tentatively getting along, and they have a long way to go before they stop acting like stubborn, oblivious nerds.

All the characters are better fleshed out: Sarrica, still mourning his dead husband, resentful that he must marry again, stubborn and extremely good at saying exactly the wrong thing. Allen, talented in court but terrible at personal matters because he’s spent so much of his life training and practicing (and a strict mother and resentful siblings don’t help).

And of course, the side characters, particularly Lesto, Sarrica’s right hand and best friend, and Rene, who in the rewrite is Lesto’s brother (and their remaining sibling was Sarrica’s husband). New characters were also added, and the added length let me flesh out the empire, all the kingdoms that comprise it, how they relate and interact. I also got to do more with traditions, sexuality, etc. Allen and Sarrica (and several others) are bisexual. Nyle, Tara, and Queen Marren are trans. The practice of Dames, who serve as surrogate mothers for couples who can’t/don’t want to have their own children. That’s only some of the details added in the longer version.

Anything else I babble about risks being spoilery :3 But I’m immensely proud of how far this story has come, the way it’s turned out. My readers were the motivation, and I remain grateful for all the comments and excitement this story has garnered. I hope everyone enjoys the new version J

The lovely, lovely art was done for me by Raelynn, who also drew the map in the front of the book. When the artist I commissioned fell through, she kindly stepped up and drew me some shinies <3 <3 <3