Any who follow me, even a little, know that my family is hands down the most important thing in my life. Being a husband and parent are things I never take for granted because I fought so hard to be able to do both. And I try not to shove politics in people’s faces, but I’m going to step out of my usual happy smiling self to address the comments of Dolce and Gabanna.

First, I want to say, I’m not in favor of a boycott (as IF I could afford their stuff, what with a kid who needs to go to school, not gonna happen.) Personally I don’t buy from people who hate me, we moved out of Virginia when they passed the anit-gay amendment to the state constitution in 2005 and took our tax dollars to Maryland, I’ve stop going to Chik-fil-a, I don’t watch Fox News, I won’t go to Hobby Lobby etc, but I don’t pressure others to do the same. Everyone knows what these people or organizations have said, each person needs to decide for themselves how they react. If they ask my opinion, I tell them, but I won’t call for people to follow my lead. Calling for a boycott of one company brings out the other side to support them. Remember this when they called for a boycott of Chik-fil-A?

As stupid and ridiculous as Dolce and Gabanna’s comments are, they have a right to express their opinion. They didn’t cross the line and say, people should go stone married gay couples, or arrest parents who use IVF, they just expressed their archaic opinion on the topics. Their right to speak, my right to answer by withholding my money. And I get a right to speak out against them as well.

It’s hard to watch self-loathing gay men attack their own community, which is why I find it hard to attack them back. So let me focus on why people with their views are wrong—because I fervently believe they are wrong.

Marriage isn’t just for procreation. Apart from the millions of people who get married with no intention of having children, there are so many people who get married who can’t have children. Breaking it down to its most clinical elements, marriage is an affirmation of your love and a legal institution that provides protection for that love. Nowhere does it say, if you can’t or don’t have children in ‘X’ amount of time, your marriage is null and void.

The term ‘traditional marriage’ is a code for, ‘not like us.’ It has been used forever to dress up discrimination in a moral cloak. Who defines ‘traditional’ anyway? Religion? The State? The Majority? We don’t have one universal religion, or one state and do we really want to let the definition of traditional marriage come down to a popularity contest?

Finally, and this might rankle a few people and I’m sorry if it does. I don’t think of us a ‘gay family,’ or as ‘gay dads/parents.’ We’re a family—just like all the others around us. We’re her dads/parents. I don’t introduce myself as her gay papa, I’m her papa. I don’t sign permissions slips as her ‘gay parent or guardian.’ Her birth certificate doesn’t have the word ‘gay’ in front of parent. And I know that some of that is the other side’s point—the laws are forcing society to scrub away the qualifiers and make it seem normal. Got it.

Let me answer that with an example. ‘lil q is three. She goes to pre-school. She’s the only one with a daddy and a papa. The kids don’t make fun of her, but they are curious. They comment on it as if there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve heard other parents explain to their kids if the topic comes up in my presence that some people have two daddies, some have two mommies and some have a mommy and a daddy. And the kids are fine with it.

It’s the same with racism or sexism, or every other negative ‘ism’ out there, it’s taught. Intolerance or acceptance is taught, not just by words, but by example. I’ve found that, ‘do as I say, not as I do’ is a foreign concept to young children. If you do something, they want to do it too, no matter how much you say don’t. When teaching ‘lil q not to play on the stairs and to hold the handle, I had to learn to ‘use the handle’ all over again. If you do it, they do it. They want to be like you. If you preach hate, you teach hate.

And that cycles back to why I won’t call for a boycott. It’s another form of intolerance. We’re forcing our will on someone. Conform or else we’ll ruin you. Why not just talk with our patronage. Eventually they’ll make the connection. And if they don’t? Well at least we’re not firing up the other side to go support them to ‘make up’ for the lost business.

Coming April 14, 2015 from DSP Publications—

The Eye and the Arm: Champion of the Gods, Book Two

Andrew Q. Gordon wrote his first story back when yellow legal pads, ball point pens were common and a Smith Corona correctable typewriter was considered high tech. Adapting with technology, he now takes his MacBook somewhere quiet when he wants to write.

He currently lives in the Washington, D.C. area with his partner of twenty years, their young daughter and dog. In addition to dodging some very self-important D.C. ‘insiders’, Andrew uses his commute to catch up on his reading. When not working or writing, he enjoys soccer, high fantasy, baseball and seeing how much coffee he can drink in a day.

Follow Andrew:

On his website: www.andrewqgordon.com,

On Facebook: www.facebook.com/andrewqugordon,

On Twitter: @andrewqgordon,

Or just email him: andrewqgordon@gmail.com