Sneak Preview of a ZAM work-in-progress!

Here’s an unedited sneak peek at a work in progress. I don’t have dates yet, and because it’s unedited, I don’t even know if you’ll be seeing this prologue the way I’ve written it, but here’s a taste of:

Home The Hard Way

Prologue

Finn saw Dare Buckley’s SUV pass Aunt Lyddie’s house not once, but twice the night Dare arrived back in town. From his place on the porch swing next to his sleeping aunt, Finn tried to read how the years sat on Dare; if he still had his sun-streaked hair and boyish good looks. He wondered if recent events had worn off some of Dare’s polish — whether it had knocked him off balance enough to make his killer smile slip — but the light on Lyddie’s street was bad and Dare never slowed down anyway.

A few days later, someone started passing along the gossip making the rounds at the police station. Dare had fucked up on the job in Seattle and come back to Palladian, where he was counting on family friendships and old ties to get him hired on there.

Finn knew how that was going to go down. Hiring anyone — especially a detective — from outside rubbed everyone raw. No one had more to say about it than Officer Bill Fraser, who’d expected to move up through the ranks on merit and seniority only to find himself competing with his childhood nemesis.

For Finn though, who pulled into the lot at grocery store just in time to see Dare  Buckley coming out with a cart full of frozen dinners and beer, seeing him set off a depth charge of bittersweet memory and unwanted longing.

“Not today,” he muttered as he maneuvered his piece of shit car into one of the remotest spaces in the lot. In his rearview mirror, he watched Dare put his cart away in the designated cart return.

God. What a Boy Scout. How does a guy like Dare fuck up badly enough to get fired from a job he was born to do?

Finn’s heart gave an inconvenient, mawkish little leap when he saw Dare scan the parking lot with what Finn figured was professional detachment. For a minute, his gaze landed on Finn’s car, and Finn could swear he saw Dare’s altogether too memorable blue eyes narrow. The sunlight caught Dare full in the face just then, so that strands of glittering gold winked among the many colors in Dare’s hair and late afternoon stubble.

Dare raised his hand to shade his eyes, almost as if he’d seen Finn, almost as if he were deciding whether to come over and say hello. Without really thinking it through, Finn drove through the empty space in front of him and out of the lot, heading toward the convenience store three blocks farther down the road. Once he got there, his heart thudded as though he’d run the whole way.

Dare Buckley was back, and with him, the worst jumble of emotion Finn had experienced since…well. Since the day Dare left, obviously.

Finn got the few things he needed from the store and then made his way home through streets he knew as well as he knew his times tables. When he pulled up in front of the house, Lyddie sat on the porch swing waiting for him. He took a minute out before turning off the car and gathering up his things. He pretended a preoccupation with his cell phone, pretended he was checking non-existent messages or replying to friends he didn’t have. That gave him time to put on the perfectly amiable mask he wore around his aunt and all her friends.

Behind the house, the river gurgled along on its sluggish course. The dank smell of it assailed him the minute he exited the car. It wouldn’t be long before they had rain and when they did, the water level would rise. The river would churn past, carrying off whatever debris made it smell like garbage.

Most probably it was some actual garbage.

Lyddie watched him walk up the path with an enigmatic half-smile on her lips — as though she knew he was only putting one foot in front of the other for her sake. As though she worried what he’d do when it wasn’t necessary anymore.

“Finn Fowler. When were you going to tell me Dare Buckley is back in town?”

“Didn’t I mention that?” he didn’t meet her shrewd gaze as he sat down beside her.

“You most certainly did not.”

“Yeah. Well. I guess he got a job with the Palladian PD.”

Finn swung them both with a lazy push of his foot. His long legs reached the wooden porch, while her dainty feet dangled freely in fluffy yellow non-skid socks. She kept her eyes closed against the setting sun but Finn knew she was awake and aware of every sound, every movement around them. Bees hummed. Birds chirped. The slightest of breezes blew warm and humid against his skin, ruffling his hair.

“Happiness doesn’t just come up to you and call out, Finn. You have to be prepared sometimes to just grab it as it goes by.”

“I know.”

Finn knew. God, he knew.

“I know what I’m talking about. Love makes your heart soar.”

Finn teased her gently. “Why on earth would anyone want a sore heart?”

“Soar, baby. S-O-A-R.” She gripped his hand. “It feels like your heart has wings or it’s on fire or something. Sometimes you fly so high it hurts, even when it’s good. You ever feel that for one of your young men?”

“Can’t say I have?”

She gripped his hand tightly. Her thin fingers felt cool and fragile to the touch — everything about her felt fragile anymore. “Everything comes down to intention. You have to know what you want and ask for it. Kate says she saw a whole movie about that on Netflix. It’s how Oprah got where she is. Intent is key.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Intention, sure. Finn knew how powerful that could be. He’d tried to win his mother’s love so earnestly it burned his heart to ash. After she died, he’d hope to belong to a family like Dare’s, even if it was only pretend. He’d set his heart — his intent — on what he wanted and grabbed for it like every molecule in his body depended on it to live. Twice he’d reached for love he’d thought was just within his grasp and ruined everything.

Twice was enough.

~*~

Also! For a look at my latest release:

Can love conquer all?

Jimmy Rafferty and Eddie Molina go way back at the J-Bar ranch. They’ve worked together, bunked together, camped out, and drank together. So how has Jimmy failed to notice that Eddie is gay? Eddie has not failed to notice that his friend has a serious drinking problem, and he’s determined to help Jimmy kick the booze cold turkey.

Taking him up to a snowbound cabin to detox, Eddie is confronted with Jimmy’s fierce denial. But the pains of withdrawal are nothing for Jimmy compared with the heartache of denying his true feelings and his deep longing…for the one man who cares for him more than anyone else on earth.