Welcome to the Riptide Publishing/L. A. Witt blog tour for the transgender science fiction novel, Static!
Every comment on this blog tour enters you in a drawing for a choice of two eBooks off my backlist (excluding Static) and a $10 Riptide Publishing store credit. Entries close at midnight, Eastern Time, on January 26th, and winners will be announced on January 27th. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. entries.
Six Things I Did Before I Was a Writer
In late 2008, I was flung into full-time writing due to circumstance and an extremely supportive husband. He’d been transferred to Okinawa, and there was a shortage of civilian jobs available for the likes of me, so we agreed that I had three years (the duration of his tour) to get this whole writing thing off the ground.
But before that, I worked normal, mundane jobs, all of which had three things in common: they paid me, they molded me into who I am, and they made me insanely determined to get this writing thing off the ground so I could quit. So, here’s a sneak preview of all the jobs they’ll talk about when they eventually do an E! True Hollywood Story episode showcasing my inevitable decline into madness.
- Selling Rocks to Rich People – Talk about two years of my life I’m never getting back. High end jewelry in a snooty mall in the heart of Microsoft/dotcom country at the peak—and fall—of the dotcom boom. Highlight? I briefly got to wear a Super Bowl ring when a retired player came into the store.
- Rental Car Production Lot Manager – You know those people who maintain, wash, and clean out rental cars? I was their boss for a spell. This was one of my shortest periods of employment due to my husband getting transferred to Okinawa and a wannabe car thief nearly pulling a gun on me.
- Juggling Malfunctioning Medical Equipment – Those monitors they have at hospitals break sometimes. I worked for a company that manufactured a great deal of them, and it was my job to take care of sending out service loaners and deal with third party repairs. Low point? Catching the 4am ferry every morning to get to work on time. For a year. Highlight? Learned all kinds of technobabble that translates nicely into sci-fi stories. Also heard a lot of horrifying stories about hospitals and equipment failures, but I can’t decide if that’s a low point, or if my writer brain thinks it’s a high point.
- Selling Welding and Compressed Gas Equipment – Does what it says on the tin. I dealt with everyone from scientists to welders, and it was quite the education in lasers, welding, chemicals, and explosions. Seriously, you know when a gas plant explodes, and the news helicopters get all that footage of the fire and additional explosions? One of my co-workers would give us a running commentary on those videos and explain what was happening (i.e., “The relief valves just gave on the oxygen tank. Hey, there goes a propane cylinder!”). Wasn’t the most exciting job in the world – it was customer service, after all – but the products and what they did were fascinating.
- Photographer – If you’ve read Out of Focus, you may have guessed that I have some experience in this field, and you would be right. Horse shows, weddings, portraits… I did it all until I realized I hated photographing weddings and I found the whole thing creatively stifling. This very nearly kept me from pursuing writing as a career because I was afraid turning it into a job would sour writing the way the business had soured photography for me. Fortunately, I decided to give it a go anyway, and it has definitely not been soured in the slightest. I also eventually regained my love of photography, and just do it as a hobby now.
- Porn Editor – Totally saved the weirdest for last. Hand to God, I spent a year editing videos for a porn company. It’s not quite as glamorous as it sounds. I know, it doesn’t sound all that glamorous to begin with. Trust me… it’s not. But it did beat the hell out of working in retail. Highlight? Four words—staff sexual harassment meeting.
So there you have it. Things I did prior to scoring the best job ever, which allows me to sit at home and write smutty stories instead of pretending I really think you should give me $10,000 for a piece of compressed carbon.
L.A. Witt is an abnormal M/M romance writer currently living in the glamorous and ultra-futuristic metropolis of Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband, two cats, and a disembodied penguin brain that communicates with her telepathically. In addition to writing smut and disturbing the locals, L.A. is said to be working with the US government to perfect a genetic modification that will allow humans to survive indefinitely on Corn Pops and beef jerky. This is all a cover, though, as her primary leisure activity is hunting down her arch nemesis, erotica author Lauren Gallagher, who is also said to be lurking somewhere in Omaha.
L. A.’s backlist is available on her website, and updates (as well as random thoughts and the odd snarky comment) can be found on her blog or on Twitter (@GallagherWitt).
STATIC Blurb:
After two years together, Alex has been dreading the inevitable moment when Damon learns the truth: that Alex is a shifter, part of a small percentage of the population able to switch genders at will. Thanks to a forced implant, though, Alex is suddenly static—unable to shift—and male. Overnight, he’s out to a world that neither understands nor tolerates shifters . . . and to his heterosexual boyfriend.
Damon is stunned to discover his girlfriend is a shifter, and scared to death of the dangers the implant poses to Alex’s health. He refuses to abandon Alex, but what about their relationship? Damon is straight, and with the implant both costly and dangerous to remove, Alex is stuck as a man.
Stripped of half his identity and facing serious physical and social ramifications, Alex needs Damon more than ever, but he doesn’t see how they can get through this.
Especially if he’s static forever.
Static is available January 20st from Riptide Publishing.
Please tell me that staff meeting was as hilarious as it sounded. Please. XD
It was absolutely as hilarious as it sounded. XD I don’t remember much of what was said — it’s been almost 15 years — but I just remember it being very…surreal.
L.A.
Wow, many and varied jobs there. Thanks for the chance to win.
Thank you – I needed a laugh today!!
jasdarts at hotmail dot com
I’m reminded of someone I knew when I was doing my masters…he was finishing off his PhD but had had many jobs, including working as a gravedigger…
I’m sure all those jobs have given you enough material for many book!!!!
Oh.My.God! I just snorted water out my nose reading this (and ouch it hurts)! Great post and I’m soooooooo looking forward to Static. Thanks for the giveaway!
Jennifer
jennpurr1970@yahoo.com
Did you ever see Cedric The Entertainer’s variety show on Fox? The last six or eight episodes never aired, but were released on the final disc of the DVD box set. I mention this because there’s a “staff sexual harrassment meeting” sketch on one that dovetails perfectly with item #6 (not to be too much of a spoiler in the sketch’s plot twist)…
And I typoed my e-mail there, so here’s the right one: vitajex(at)aol(Dot)com
I’ve worked a lot of jobs following my husband around the country but honestly none of them were nearly as interesting as even one of yours. I love the idea behind the book, looking forward to reading it. Thank you for the giveaway.
All those diverse jobs must provide great fodder for stories. Thanks for the fun post and the giveaway.
jen.f {at} mac {dot} com
It’s amazing the different jobs you have had and at least you’ve had some exciting moments!!! Please count me in for the Giveaway, it’s sound like a really interesting book.
ShirleyAnn@speakman40.freeserve.co.uk
Seriously a sexual harassment training class – boy wouldn’t i like to be a fly on the wall …. i am just wondering how different that must be from the class we get at my company. Thanks for the opportunity to win; I really enjoy your writing!!
bethbellanca at gmail dot com
I used to work for a major ISP (no longer in existence) and the staff sexual harassment training was pretty darn funny.
“Two-thirds of our revenue comes from porn. If you have a problem with this fact, you may not fit in here. You will not be required to see adult content if you do not want to.”
“If you do not wish to see adult content, please do not walk through the art department.”
“If you walk through the art department and see adult content, they are probably working, not goofing off. Please do not report them to HR unless you are certain there is an issue. It gets old.”
My husband, who works for a company that does similar kinds of stuff, says that they lose about half the possible hires because SOs or spouses object to even having any potential exposure to porn. Depressing.
Oh, and as someone with the photography bug, I was wondering if you had done some photo work. I don’t see how anyone can do wedding photography.
desina.alani {at} me {dot} com
mmmmm….PNR M/M…best of both worlds!
omg…don’t think I could ever admit to being a porn editor lol (seriously snorted my coffee everywhere at that one!!)
thanks for the giveaway 🙂
leetee2007 (at) hotmail (dot) com
If you had to design a training programme for an author it should look something like this! I’m no longer quite so surprised at your amazing variety of ideas. Since I prefer books without fantasy / paranormal / sci-fi I could wish you’d one fewer technical jobs, but there we are! I’m also impressed by your determination to find work wherever you went, but as a reader I’m glad it wasn’t possible at Okinawa.
“…but as a reader I’m glad it wasn’t possible at Okinawa.”
I’m thankful for that EVERY day. 😉
L.A.
Wow! That’s quite a resume!!!
Thanks Sid Love for the host!
And Thanks L.A. for the post and giveaway.
I’m not new to M/M but I’m finding more and more M/M authors I haven’t read!
Are all your books stand alone? or series?
Which one should I start w/?
Thank you,
Andrea
I have some standalones and some series 🙂 Personal favorites? Static (no, really, it’s been my fave for a while), Where There’s Smoke, or Conduct Unbecoming. 🙂
L.A. Witt
Very interesting list of jobs. Not something everyone could have done. It’s cool that your husband wanted to see you succeed but at the same time was trying to keep your feet on the ground just in case things didn’t work out the way you expected. Thank god it did though =)
humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com
Wow – what an eclectic job history! So cool when you can bring some of your knowledge to your books. Thanks for the interesting interview and giveaway.
Porn Editor is my favorite from the list. :p
blackasphodel(at)yahoo(dot)com
My friend did my wedding photos and then it seemed she didn’t want to do photos for anyone else. Are they really that hard? I gave her a lot of freedom and she did a great job.
Thanks for sharing your jobs! Variety is the spice of life eh?