Reviewed by Heather C.

TITLE: Billy’s Bones
AUTHOR: Jamie Fessenden
PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press
LENGTH: 254 Pages
BLURB: Kevin Derocher was thirty-two when he walked into Tom’s office, newly married, a baby on the way, and the collar of his red flannel shirt pulled up to hide the bruises around his throat from when he hanged himself in his garage. After his initial consult, therapist Tom Langois believes he’ll never see Kevin again—but Kevin turns up three years later to make repairs on Tom’s new house.

Kevin and Tom become fast friends, and Tom begins to suspect Kevin may be interested in more than friendship. However, Kevin remains haunted by something from his childhood—something so terrible he blocked it from his mind. These suppressed memories make it impossible for Kevin to get close to anyone without panicking and lashing out, sometimes violently. But as his past begins to surface, it becomes apparent that Kevin may hold the key to a twenty-five-year-old mystery: what happened to Billy?

REVIEW:

Heartbreaking. Disturbing. Beautiful.

Three years ago, Tom met Kevin for one brief moment…as a therapist to Kevin following his failed attempt at suicide after finding out his wife was pregnant. Now, Tom has bought a new-to-him house and comes across Kevin’s name when asking for a recommendation for a handyman to repair his hot tub. Kevin is now divorced…but still suffering from panic attacks and sexual dysfunctions.

Neither guy has any close friends of the hang-out-and-grill-and-drink-beer variety, and they soon find themselves spending a lot of time together. Things get a bit weird once Tom admits he his gay and even weirder when they start spending all of their time together in the buff…in a non-sexual way. As a psychologist, Tom admits to himself that their “friendship” is obviously odd and a bit unhealthy, but he can’t help himself from falling for Kevin. Kevin admits he feels attraction for Tom and likes to look at him naked…but he has strong aversions to being touched or participating in any sex acts involving another person…even though he is very hyper-sexual and crass at times.

“What do you want?” Tom asked. “If it was entirely up to you, what would you want our relationship to be like?”
“I guess I’d pretty much want to keep it the way it is. I just want to be with you as much as possible.”
“Until you find a girlfriend.”
“I don’t want a girlfriend,” Kevin said adamantly. “I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”

When their growing closeness begins to trigger increased panic attacks and flashbacks in Kevin, Tom can’t fight his therapist’s instinct to want to nurture and heal him. He wants to understand more about Kevin. Why does he have the anxiety and sexual dysfunctions? Why did he really try to kill himself three years ago? And the biggest question of all…will their fragile relationship survive the answers?

Okay, enough with all the plot review. I’m sure you can get all that and more just by reading the blurb.

Ladies and Gents, what you will get here is a beautiful story about two realistically, imperfect men. I think their flaws are what really allowed me to connect with them so quickly. I mean, once I started reading it was really difficult for me to leave Tom and Kevin long enough to get any work done. From their friendship to their boyfriend-ship, you will get many sweet, touching scenes interspersed with graphically, disturbing triggers from Kevin’s past. Spoiler warning for anyone with abuse triggers…you should avoid this story all together.

This was a fast reading story that was progressing with every page; even when they would take two steps forward and one step back, it was always progressing. I think some readers may question Kevin’s behavior, but from professional experience, I recognize that people cope with abuse and trauma in all different manners. It was obvious to me that the author spent a lot of time with his research and created very realistic and believable characters.

At times, I felt like I had it all figured out…but nope, my mind couldn’t even imagine the horrors of Kevin’s reality. And the one scene from the past…it ripped out my soul and left me bare and sobbing from the pain. Fuck, it makes me cry right now while writing this.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Okay, I’m ready to continue…

Now that I’ve blown my nose and wiped away my tears, I close my eyes and contemplate how this story makes me feel in this moment…and I feel sunshine and hope and the belief that love really can conquer all. Love can overpower the darkness and despair and fucked up shit from the past.

Trust me, beneath this not-so-pretty cover is a beautiful story with a sweet HEA just waiting for you.

Heather’s Rating:

BUY LINK: Dreamspinner Press :: Book Store

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Heather C. is one of the official reviewers on The Blog of Sid Love.

To read all her reviews, click the link: HEATHER’S REVIEWS
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