The Cheat Sheet

I have what I like to refer to as “cheat sheets”. As I write a story, I also write down names of people and places within the story because I know I will forget them. The other thing I do is write down “plot holes” that I need to deal with. Especially if I am on a roll with writing and don’t want to deal with that particular problem at that moment. I accept that I have crap for a memory, so I use a sheet of paper. I sometimes will type information like that into a word doc, but I find I need to refer to the cheat sheet more and more often as my stories progress and it is inconvenient for me to flip back and forth between documents. When I get rich and famous, I might buy another monitor. That would help. But until then, I use good old pen and paper.

But there is another cheat sheet I have. One that I finally dug up again after having “lost it” for a long time. It is one I received when I first started writing. It is referred to as “Pre-Edits” but they are brilliant and, when used, make for a better manuscript. This is gold!

1. Do a search for the word “that”. Read the sentence out loud. If the sentence makes sense without the word “that”, delete it.
2. Do a search for the word “it”. Try to replace “it” with a more concrete noun or phrase. Example: “It was still early, but I struggled to keep my eyes open” – “The morning had only begun, but I struggled to keep my eyes open”
3. Do a search for the word “was”. In instances where you are using it in a sentence such as “He was tall”, “She was pretty” this tends to “tell” rather than “show”. Not to mention, “tall” and “pretty” are subjective and translate as something different with each person. To avoid this, here are a couple of examples: “Jake was tall” could be re-written as “When Jake walked into the room, his head appeared to brush the top of the door”. “Martha was angry as she walked in the room” could be re-written as “Martha burst through the door and stomped into the room, sending the occupants running”
4. Action tags are great. They can “paint a picture” as well. Especially when they convey emotion such as anger (she nagged, hissed or growled) or happiness (he bubbled, cheered or chirped). But be careful on using too many. If you are concerned about making sure the reader knows who is talking, you can also use descriptors in action itself. For example:

“I wanted to congratulate you on your win,” Stacy gushed when she caught up to Glen.

“Thank you,” Glen said shyly.

“You really showed everyone you had it in you to be a champion,” Stacy stressed, wanting him to believe in himself.

Could be re-written as:

Stacy ran up to Glen and tapped him on the shoulder. “I wanted to congratulate you on your win.”

Glen turned but lowered his gaze, his cheeks turning bright pink. “Thank you.”

Stacy grabbed hold of Glen’s arms and gave him a slight shake. “You really showed everyone you had it in you to be a champion.”

Both convey what the writer wants to say, one “shows” the emotion a little better.

5. Read through your manuscript looking for over-used words and phrases. If your character is raising his eyebrows three times on one page, change two of them to something else. And, in fact, make sure you don’t have your character do something specific like that too many times in the entire book.
6. Read through your manuscript and make sure you don’t have “floaty body parts”. Examples are “His hand touched her face” = “He touched her face”. Hands can only touch if they are attached to a body. It’s the person who touches, not the body part. Another example: “His eyes followed her as she crossed the room” = “His gaze followed her as she crossed the room” His eyes did not pop out of his head and proceed to follow the person by rolling across the floor in hot pursuit. Indeed, it was his gaze that followed.
7. Do a word search for “watched”, “saw”, “felt”, and “heard”. Use of these words tend to distance the reader from the action. For example: “Sara watched as Geri came across the floor toward her, an expression of anger on her face.” Could be re-written to read: “All Sara wanted was to escape, seeing the expression on Geri’s face as the woman stormed toward her.”
8. Then the “LY” words. Slowly, calmly, hurriedly. These are descriptive words (adverbs) that tend to make us lazy. Again, they “tell” rather than “show”. Read through your manuscript and find them. Attempt to change them into something more concrete. For example: “She laughed loudly” = “Her laugh seemed to reverberate through the room like a trumpet, stopping conversation and making heads turn.” Another example in a dialog tag: “Come here and sit beside me,” he said flirtatiously.” = “Come here and sit beside me,” he cooed, batting his long eyelashes.” One tells, the other shows. Always show.

Instant irritation rose in him when Duncan declared the prince as his. But it couldn’t matter. Too much time was being wasted with this inane chitchat. Emory needed to find Prince Riffyn. There was most likely nothing at all wrong. He knew he was also upset about the possibility the woman with whom the prince danced out the door could end up being his bride.

No. He wasn’t going to think about that either. He simply needed to make sure the prince was safe.

“You know, you’re exactly right. I had nothing to do with it at all. I have to… um… I need to… go.” He grinned at Duncan and shrugged. Offering no other explanation and hoping Duncan wouldn’t demand one, he took off toward the doors to the garden.

Duncan called out. “Wait!”

But he was certainly not going to stand there and listen to Duncan gush about the prince. He burst through the doors and quickly closed them behind him.

Perusing the area, he found no one.

Where could they be? He listened for them but could hear nothing above the noise of the party going on behind him. Even after he closed the doors, the sounds of the night, like the frogs in the pond off to the east of the castle and the wind that had picked up since the sun went down, made it all but impossible to hear anything specific.

And, of course, there couldn’t be just one path leading off into the garden. No, there were several. One led off to the left, two to the right, and one straight ahead, leaving Emory in a quandary as to which one the prince and princess took. And that was only if they were out here, although logic dictated, due to the actions of the other two princesses, they were. But time had become short and he needed to pick a path.

There was a tingle at the back of his neck and his mind whispered for him to go left.

That had never happened before. Very strange. But left was as good a choice as any. He turned to the left.

Being as quiet as he could, he jogged around a couple of topiaries, a stone bench, and huge empty pots just waiting for the spring flowers that would fill them. That was the other thing. It wasn’t exactly cold out like it had been just a week or so ago, but it wasn’t warm either, and it was odd for the prince to think this was a good idea to take some leisurely walk in the garden.

Rounding the next corner had Emory nearly crashing into the clearing where the prince and princess were standing. Somehow, he was able to stay hidden. He was actually surprised the prince hadn’t heard him, that he hadn’t seen movement out of the corner of his eye, at least something. He knew Riffyn’s alertness and reflexes to be very sharp. But as Emory peered through the branches of the evergreen he was hiding behind, not twenty feet away, he could see neither of them knew he was here with them.

The prince seemed okay. He was smiling like an idiot, though. That was strange, wasn’t it? Maybe not. Because his full attention was on the princess who had just put her arms around his neck and was pulling him down into a kiss. In a single skipped heartbeat, Emory realized Riffyn was returning her kiss. He had wrapped his arms about the woman’s waist and was holding her close, kissing her as if he was already married to her. Emory sunk down to the ground.

What am I doing spying on such an intimate moment? He needed to quit obsessing about the man and let him go about the business of being the crown prince. A chill raced through Emory that cut right through to his bones, one that had nothing to do with the temperature.

Damn.

Emory raised himself up again to study the situation one more time. If nothing was out of the ordinary, he was going to go inside. The prince clearly didn’t need him. Maybe he would grab some more food and escape up to his little room. His head still hurt from earlier, and he honestly could stand to lie down for a while.

They were just talking now. Low. Very close. Emory couldn’t make out many words. “You’re so beautiful” and “You’re so big and strong,” were about it. Emory wanted to gag. Riffyn must have said something funny because she was laughing. Tittering, actually. She sounded more like a tiny, very fake, irritating bird. The prince turned to her and leaned in to kiss her lightly. Seemed he liked her ridiculous little sounds. Emory wanted to throw up.

But then something strange happened. Midkiss the prince jerked back. “What… Ohh! I’m sorry, Princess Kristiel. I have no idea what I…” Riffyn stepped back, touching his own lips and glancing around as if he had no idea where he was. “I have overstepped my bounds, Your Highness, please forgive me. I should never have…”

Emory was confused.

“Riffyn. Relax. It’s fine. I wanted you to kiss me.”

“But…”

At the same time Riffyn was seemingly stumbling back away from the princess, she reached into a small silky purse hanging on her arm, mumbling something Emory didn’t catch. But when she brought her fisted hand out and threw whatever it was she was holding at the prince’s face, Emory raised his hand as well and whispered.

“Stop.” Which, of course, was ridiculous. He had no hope of stopping whatever it was she threw at the prince from all the way back where he was crouching.

But then something else very strange happened.