So Of Gods and Monsters: Komainu Will be going into edits soon, and, no I don’t have a release date yet, but what I do have is a small snippet from the book for your greedy eyes to feast on.
I also have some tags you will need to keep in mind for this book.
This is an M/M/M book and a love triangle in one.
No HEA or HFN.
NO cliffhanger ending, this will be a conclusion and closing of this chapter in these men’s lives, opening doors for others.
There is a rape scene.
Hearts will be destroyed.
Love will lose.
YOU WILL HATE ME FOR THIS. And for plenty of other things, I am sure.
Now that, that’s all out of the way… here’s another warning but only regarding this excerpt.
Warning: you will leave here with more questions than answers.
“You are very important to a man I owe a great deal of debt to.”
Rex kept glaring through the black tinted windows of the Maserati. So this was what it was meant to be ‘insurance’, he was only a means of payment for someone who had done numerous jobs for Mr. Julius… He didn’t know if he was more angry or hurt, he sure as hell wasn’t surprised. He got why Mr. Julius took care of him, one held pride in their investments, nurtured them and kept them safe, but other things, much more personal things he had done for Rex that didn’t make any sense.
Why then fly him on his birthday to California, sit with him in the blistering heat while Rex spent three hours at his Father’s grave, missing a man he wish he had known longer? With Jack keeping him company, he got back to the hotel and spent the rest of his birthday either dying or pissing from his mouth into the toilet, all over himself, or Mr. Julius.
Why invite Rex to fucking Italy to spend the Christmas holidays in Veneto at Mr. Julius’ wine estate and mansion? Because he wanted to introduce Rex to his beautiful wife and ten-year-old daughter? People, he didn’t even know had accepted Rex at their table like he was a relative of the family. They had even bought him a fucking Christmas present.
Why help Rex when he volunteered at the animal shelter, even going so far as cleaning out the dog pens and cat cages, washing and help clipping the animals when he was highly allergic to both cats and dogs? Why make a donation of half a million dollars to the animal shelter in Rex’s name?
One kept your investments safe, but you didn’t nurture their well-being? You didn’t build a relationship with them if you were going to sell them off in the end.
Rex wasn’t so much angry or hurt as he was disappointed in himself for putting trust in a man he thought…. “You were my friend?”
“Don’t go there, little Rozzo,” Mr. Julius scolded, but the man’s voice came out fragmented. A large hand touched down on Rex’s own. “I’ll admit, at first I only took you into my care out of agreement to this man’s terms, but you grew on me.” Mr. Julius pulled Rex’s hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss to Rex’s bruised knuckles. “I’ve never had a friend, Rex. Not growing up and not in my adult life. This life of mine never called for it, the closest thing I have are acquaintances in ‘business’. You are far more knowledgeable in the type of business I deal in, to know acquaintances are nothing more than expendable. You are a trusted and most precious gift, my boy. One I would not replace for all the wealth in the world.”
“Then why sell me off to some sex-crazed, psychopathic, human trafficker!”
Rex didn’t know for sure who he was being ‘sold to’, he was only assuming the worst. Hell, it might have been the blond wolf sitting in Mr. Julius’ office chair. Fuck—!
“I would never do that to a member of my own family!” Mr. Julius roared.
Rex blinked, staring at the man, hard shadows crawled over Mr. Julius’ face while those glacier eyes of his became an endless mass grave of torment.
“I know firsthand what those animals are capable of. I was born from that life, my mother was nothing more than a meat sack of tits and holes being tossed around. To this day I don’t know who my father is, and quite frankly, I don’t care. I would tear the motherfucker in two with my own hands if I ever met him.”
Rex cringed in pain, Mr. Julius held such a tight grip on his hand the scabs on Rex’s knuckles cracked and started to bleed again under the ruthless pressure.
“I’m sorry,” Rex whispered.
Mr. Julius looked down, his gaze lingering for a few seconds before he gently let go and snagged the handkerchief from his blazer’s front pocket.
“Forgive me,” Mr. Julius’ thick voice rumbled. He palmed Rex’s hand before carefully dabbing at the oozing cuts.
“You’re ruining it,” Rex chirped, still aware of the tremors haunting Mr. Julius’ fingers.
“It’s just blood.”
“It’s Mulberry silk.”
The man snorted. “Such modesty.”
Rex allowed him to ruin his handkerchief if he wanted, he was far too a stubborn a bull to argue with. “What will happen to the club?”
“It will keep running, I don’t believe for one moment Mr. Sciocatti has any desire to change it. Diablo was one of my most profitable expenditure, and it was because of that, Mr. Sciocatti wanted to buy it. Even for us ‘bad gentlemen’ we do need a few clean establishments.”
Yeah, well, mind telling that to the cops some time.
Rex drew a deep breath as the car came to a halt before his apartment complex. He looked up, catching Mr. Julius staring and smiling at him. “What happens now?”
The man cleared his throat, peering out the window before turning back to Rex. There was a soft sheen reflected in his eyes as they lightened. “You’re not working for me or at Diablo anymore.”
Rex kinda got that impression already.
“And this person—”
“Man,” he corrected Rex. “You’ll be meeting him soon.” He leaned forward placing his warm hands on Rex’s knee. “He has waited a tremendously long time to see you, Rex. He will take exceptionally good care of you too, you have my sworn oath on this. Think of him as your ‘suitor’. And if for whatever reason things don’t work out between you, you know where to find me. Always remember. I have eyes everywhere. I’ll always keep watching.”
Rex frowned. “What?”
“Did you ever think it was by simple chance you bumped into Sean in New York, one of the most populated cities in America, meeting a man from your father’s past that used to live in California? And even if you did stumble onto him by simple chance, do you honestly think he would have recognized you after so many years? Do not make me doubt your intellect, my sweet little Rosso.” Mr. Julius reached over and pinched Rex’s nose. “Did you really think Sean knew to send you to Madam Tequila? That he knew exactly where to find your father’s lost brother? It was all me. From the moment you left the Dragon’s Tongue till now.” Mr. Julius patted Rex’s knee. “The Doyen of the White Hand will always have his eyes on you.”
“What is this man’s name…? Do I know him?” Rex rushed out before his spiraling brain made him spat more questions as the puzzle pieces started to crash into place. The unknown third entity that he could never figure out as part of a world’s secret orders was the White Hand, the one that controlled politics, science and medicine, and… Rex swallowed, war.
Mr. Julius wasn’t simply some monarch of the Italian Mafia, his influence and power went far deeper.
Mr. Julius huffed. “Unfortunately, only you can determine if you know this man whose name I’m afraid is not my place to mention. Now,” he leaned over Rex, “it’s best you go get some rest, Rosso.” And popped the lock on Rex’s door.
Rex threw his arms around him, feeling Mr. Julius firm body stiffen to the embrace. “Thank you for being my friend.” Rex placed a wet kiss on the man’s scruffy cheek. He’d never seen Mr. Julius blush, and it was probably better that way. No one could take the menacing mobster serious when his face turned bright pink like a ripe peach.
As Rex stepped out of the car, Mr. Julius threw him a cold, hard look. “Please never lie to me again. I know where you were and exactly what you were doing last night, and as much as I appreciate your sweet hearted intention, doing it only to keep me from losing my temper. It’s not very wise to hurt this man in that manner.”
“It’s done and over, now go get some rest. I’ll speak to you soon.”
Rex grounded his teeth, walking around the back of the car, swallowing the bitter sting of Mr. Julius’ words. He really didn’t mean to hurt his friend in that way.
Warm, calloused fingers bit down on the back of Rex’s neck, a firm hand giving him a gentle squeeze. “Gonne miss you, piccolo. ”
Rex leaned into Fluvio’s warmth. The bodyguard always escorted Rex from the car to his front door. And knowing this would be their last time, it left Rex a little more raw than he wanted it to.
“I keep losing the people I care about.” He didn’t mean for it to come out loud, or at all. But it was the constellation of his existence. He’d walked from one crumbled life to build another, albeit this one a bit false and made of obscured brittle and cracked glass, knowing it would eventually crumble too. He wasn’t prepared for it to happen so fast, neither for the debris to slice this close to his heart, making him choke out in a pitiful sob against the man’s hard pec.
Fulvio pulled Rex tight against him, cupping the back of Rex’s head with his large hand. “Be strong, piccolo . If he breaks you… I break him.” The growl shook though Rex as it flowed from Fulvio’s chest. The man could be caring yes, but he was still a trained bodyguard, one that loved to participate in the underground fighting tournaments. Fulvio became a ferine monster when he stepped into those rings. His fists ate the flesh of his opponents while pain was a non-existent response. The man’s drug addiction was his bloodthirst, a bone shattering event to witness first hand as he broke his opponents down to remain the last beast standing.
The first time Rex had gone with Mr. Julius to watch Fulvio fight, he’d lost his stomach to the sight of Fulvio breaking bone and jaws with a single punch and the stench of the blood Fulvio spilled during several of his cage fights. Then he made the brutal mistake of going to check up on him and stumbled onto the man, fucking a woman like a rabid animal to drain the seething malignancy from his body as he emptied between the blonde’s cum-soaked thighs.
Rex knew he was throwing this out as a defensive measure against his heartache, but the act had become almost second nature for his ‘alienoid’ persona. “You know,” Rex sniffled, pulling back and tracing a finger along the outline of Fulvio’s solid pec, “if you weren’t all that straight,” he looked up into man’s silver eyes and wet his lips, “I could have fallen for you a long time ago.”
Fulvio was silent for a moment, his gaze a terrifying form of unreadable as it bore into Rex. He blinked and broke contact at the sound of the elevator stopping and the doors sliding open. It didn’t matter who or what you were, everyone was a threat in Fulvio’s eyes until deemed otherwise. It was only a woman taking her yorkie for its business, but regardless, Fulvio yanked Rex back, shielded him with his massive body while his hand hovered close to the gun tucked in his holster strapped around his chest.
As the woman passed unaware of the hazard she exuded, Fulvio’s hand remained ready, his glower absorbing every minute movement of the lobby. It was like watching a cat, scientifically determining the consists of what made the red dot of doom so deplorably elusive.
“Move,” he barked, grabbing Rex hard by the bicep and proceeded to pull him in the direction of the elevator. Once inside with the doors closing, Fulvio kept his tense form. Rex had learned by now where to position himself within an elevator while in the bodyguard’s presence. Squeezed into the corner by the elevator’s control panel. There he could avoid a shower of bullets, diving straight into the elevator upon the doors opening, and he would also have access to the control panel for escape.
It was an unnecessary evil in Rex’s eyes, but neither Fulvio nor Soran left even a ghost of an opportunity to chance.
As the doors parted the tension on Fulvio’s face mutated to frightening levels of intensity, until his clenched jaw relaxed. But his hand never strayed from his weapon, not even when Rex unlocked his apartment door. Only once Rex stood within the doorframe with the darkness licking his back did the man truly ease. It had always puzzled Rex why in the past the bodyguards only showed their cunning intensity up till this point, only to have it evaporate as if it was never there in the first place. Surely, they would have checked his apartment out before they allowed him to enter if they truly were this diligent in their job. Going by his earlier conversation with Mr. Julius, the apartment was more than probably rigged with cameras. So they knew before even entering the building whether someone would be waiting inside or not. Any normal person might have found it utterly creepy. Rex not so much. The temple of the Dragon’s Tongue was riddled with eyes, and not necessarily always technological.
He stared up at Fulvio, not strong enough to meet the man’s gaze, stopping at the man’s densely muscled throat instead.
“Thank you,” Rex whispered and slowly started to shut the door as he turned away before he became a slobbery incoherent mess of tears and mucus in front of the straight man.
Strong hands grabbed him, yanking him back against a hard solid wall of muscle. A warm breath growled down Rex’s neck, while arms of brute steel hugged the air from his body.
“Forgetting something, piccolo ?”
Rex swallowed hard, his blush bleeding from his pores as a deadly heat ate through his cheeks. Fulvio’s large fingers raced down, sneaking in past the front seam of Rex’s Joggers and underwear. Rex relaxed against the hulk of a man when Fulvio pulled the leather jock from Rex’s crouch. It had become a tradition of sort. After each night Rex gifted the sweaty underwear he had danced in to Fulvio as a joke. And he always stored it bundled up in his crotch to add that extra measure of taunt so he could see the blush flair on Fulvio’s face. He’d almost forgot about it due to the heaviness of his current predicament breathing down on him. Fulvio lifted the jock to his face, pressing the leather to his nose and took a deep audible sniff. “I might be a straight fucker that massacres pussy for my body’s need, but my soul will always belong to mio cuore .”
Too bumfuzzled by the man’s words, Rex left himself defenseless against Fulvio’s assassination.
He didn’t kiss Rex at first, he merely stroked his tongue between Rex’s parted lips before grunting darkly and claiming Rex’s mouth for himself.
Rex trembled, fear a corrosive force hollowing him out, because he shouldn’t be feeling the rapture of a thousand sparks kindling his blood. He felt a traitor and a cheat, that had just pissed on the ‘forever’ promised to him by a man from long ago. Because even though Javier had kissed him, Rex never kissed back. Even though he had coaxed the gray-haired gentleman into a kiss, he didn’t allow the man to enjoy it back.
Not in the way he was both giving and accepting the starvation within the tenderness of Fulvio’s mouth.
“Stop,” Rex whimpered, breath gunning for first place against the warm lips above him, knowing goddamn well the hard muscle being ground into his Joggers’ backside wasn’t the man’s fucking abs. “Please.”
“You taste so sweet? ” The bodyguard’s words sounded more shocked to be a simple statement or complement. Fulvio broke the kiss only to bite at Rex’s bottom lip, his right hand cupping Rex’s cheek and tenderly caressing Rex’s face. “Take care, mio cuore .” There were those words again that Rex didn’t understand, didn’t want to try and understand, fearful of what they truly meant by the shadows slithering in Fulvio’s dark, flaming gaze.
Fulvio released him, leaving Rex shaken, turned and walked down the hallway without looking back. Even when he stepped into the elevator and pressed the buttons, he didn’t turn to look at Rex.
Of Gods and Monsters: Komainu
His innocence was the fire that blighted the deepest dark, but even he can’t save the King from a past stained so black, the devil won’t even touch it.
Years creep up on you, like a rotting hand: cold and wet, it will drag you down into your grave.
Life will hand you eternity only to rip it away from you.
Love will slaughter you in the most beautiful way and still manage to nail you in the ass, bareback, when you see him choose the heart of another man.
But Death… He is a patient soul. He waits, and he waits, and he waits.
‘Cause the bastard knows he will always have the last laugh when he knocks at the door.
Memories were all I had, all I had clung to as my heart turned to stone and finally to dust.
Now he is mine and I will hold him, and I will kiss him. We will dance and we will laugh, and we will cry… We will be human together…
I did not know heaven until I knew him.
There is no greater power that can tear and rip your world apart as when their lips finally kiss yours again.
But being human comes at a fatal price.
Sometimes you have to let go of the hand you hold onto so tightly that it brought pain, because that is the only way you can save them from Death.
Why did she take them away, hand them back, then force me to choose?
Is love really that cruel, that she would enjoy tormenting you as you watch the two men you love with your whole heart, kill each other…?
And then, my worst fear, my deepest darkest nightmare became a living breathing thing.
Death had come to take from us what we could never replace.