Reviewed by Kat
TITLE: Not Alone
SERIES: The Swarm (Book 1)
AUTHOR: Christie Gordon
PUBLISHER: Self Published
LENGTH: 358 pages
RELEASE DATE: May 6, 2025
BLURB:
He’s drowning in grief. I’ve survived that darkness. Can we rescue each other, or will love pull us under?
Ash Oakley
Our band is blowing up.
But I need a break—to surf, to breathe, to quiet the restlessness inside me.
Then I meet him.
The stunning stranger next door.
He’s hurting.
I see it in his eyes and the way he carries himself like he’s drowning in something too heavy to bear.
He’s always at the beach, but he pushes me away when I get close.
When he finally lets me in, I realize his pain echoes my past.
I know that darkness. I survived it.
I want to help him. But I never expected to fall this hard.
And now I don’t know if I’m saving him, or if he’s saving me.
Micah Knowles
I came here to disappear and forget.
To heal from the wreckage of my life.
Then he shows up—Ash Oakley, rockstar, golden boy, too damn persistent for his own good.
He keeps trying to break through my walls with his easy grin and restless energy, like he sees something in me worth saving.
He says he understands.
I want to believe him.
And maybe I desire him more than I should.
Not Alone is the first book in The Swarm duology. It features a rockstar blindsided by love and a man traumatized by a past relationship. It features hurt/comfort, plenty of angst and mental health healing with a little bit of enemies to lovers, all amidst the backdrop of a California beach town.
Buy now to dive into a heartfelt, angsty rockstar romance about love, healing, and second chances!
REVIEW:
Ash Oakley is the lead sing of The Swarm, an up-and-coming indie rock band, that just came off a year of touring. He decides to take his time at Pacifica, California in a beachfront condo to unwind and learn to surf since he already looks the part. What he doesn’t expect is the broody and rude neighbor across the hall. He may be drop-dead gorgeous, dark haired, porcelain faced neighbor but his behavior is erratic and questionable. When the neighbor, Micah, keeps showing up at places Ash is at he has to get to the bottom of his developing crush’s story. But what will happen next when he finally cracks Micah’s hard shell?
The crushing backstories of what Ash and Micah have lived through in their short lives are heart wrenching. The tragedies that they both have endured have shaped the men to the way they have become. Ash doesn’t seem to trust things to be as they are and Micah doesn’t believe he’s worthy of anyone’s friendship…let alone their hearts and love. Both men are majorly damaged in the heart department.
I do believe that West truly wanted Ash more completely and permanently that he ever let on. But, when he finally realized that Ash and Micah were the real deal, he was able to let go and move forward. I am so glad that this is the start of a whole new series The Swarm. I think we need to see where West and Noah’s story goes next. The author left it so that it’s the perfect segue way into their relationship and still able to keep us informed on where Ash and Micah are and how they are doing. I totally see wedding bells in those two boys future. And what is up with Dolan and Justin???
I will say that this book is filled to the brim with angst upon more angst. These boys have had a lifetime of tragedy and sorrow already crammed in their young lives. The things they have endured would crumble most people and almost did Micah. How he survived and retained his sanity from his horrific experience without winding up in a mental institution is beyond comprehension. But he showed he was strong and, with Ash’s and the therapist’s help, could survive and resume his life. I will admit I was skeptical and leery, both with Micah’s recovery and Ash’s ability to go on the road without Micah. They kind of are a bit co-defendant to each other to obtain true happiness. In the end Micah surprised me more than Ash in his resilience.
As I stated earlier, I am thankful that author Christie Gordon decided to turn this into a series and I can’t wait to hear the rest of The Swarm member’s stories.
A bit of a warning: This book contains talk/description in somewhat graphic detail of past suicide and drug overdose. If these are triggers for you this might not be the book for you.
RATING: 
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