Studying anthropology at the university of Amsterdam, I enjoyed writing essays and received high grades. In his speech at my graduation, my tutor read a part of my thesis, highlighting how much he liked my writing, suggesting that I should seriously think about becoming an author.
That started me thinking. It was, of course, a wonderful thing to hear, but did I really have it in me? After some short stories, I wrote my novel Cajú. I spent much time in Brazil to do research, which eventually led to this book. I sent the first chapter to several publishers in Amsterdam, and one invited me over for an interview—an old publishing house, known for their high literary standards.
It didn’t lead to publication. However, it strengthened my conviction that my writing had quality, and it made me more ambitious to go on. The manuscript of my second novel, Walking Among Us, won a prize in a contest, which attracted the attention of a Belgian publishing house. I signed a contract and was a published author from that day on. They also published Cajú, as well as my third novel The Girl in the Web. All three novels are mysterious and spiritual, and were written after anthropological research.
During Covid, my publisher went bankrupt and I republished my books myself, in Dutch and in English. And I wrote two autobiographical works: a nonfiction narrative, Dog Gone, and a memoir, Boy One, my latest book.
I use many experiences from my own life in my novels. Before I became a writer, I was mainly working as a drummer/percussionist. With my band Outcry, I toured the Pacific Northwest in the 90s. We played grunge, the big hype in those days. My first novel Walking Among Us is a tribute to that band. I was and still am fascinated by Sasquatch, so I created a thrilling, spiritual story in the woods of Oregon.
My second novel, Cajú, plays mainly in Brazil, where I did anthropological research. The protagonist is a girl, but she could just as well be me. Her experiences were based on mine, with much fantasy added. After reading it, you will have learned something about Brazilian temperament and spirituality.
My third novel, The Girl in the Web, again has a female protagonist. I guess I find that easy, being a gay man, who wanted to be a girl when he found out he was a boy at a very young age. I spent time in Pine Ridge, South Dakota, to see Wounded Knee and learned everything about the Lakota and their history. I used my fantasy to create a mysterious and spiritual story that takes you from Austria to Holland to Pine Ridge and back, in which the concept of time is challenged.
Dog Gone, a nonfiction narrative, is about the years I lived in Spain, in a happy relationship that ended with the death of my lover, and meeting my husband in America. My pets play an important role, two cats and a dog. It’s a story filled with human emotions, interspersed with tragicomical scenes of the love among dogs and cats and their owners.
Boy One, a memoir, is my new book. It’s the story I was afraid to write, let alone publish, because it’s so much about me, about a part of my younger life, starting when I was a naïve teenager in the closet; a part of my life that I’ve been ashamed of for all the wrong reasons.
I was the young lover of John Stamford, the eccentric and middle-aged editor/owner of the famous Spartacus Gay Guide, and together we travelled around the world. The memoir covers how we met, the power games he played, and the rise and fall of the guide, as well as the scandals.
In the 80s and 90s, the guide was a travel atlas, the roadmap every gay man on the move had in his back pocket because it opened a world of opportunities to its gay subscribers, not unlike the Green Book for Afro-Americans. No matter where one was around the globe, the gay-friendly bars and clubs were identified. It made travel a glorious funfest.
But the farther I travelled, the deeper I was immersed in a seedy underworld of possibly illegal, certainly immoral activity in which I might be complicit. This memoir details what went on behind the scenes, the power and influence the guide generated, and the attendant misuse of that influence. After appearing on the guide’s cover, I strived to escape the magazine and my lover, but it wasn’t not easy. John harbored a manic attraction for me and vice versa.
My husband Geno encouraged me to go ahead and write it. He convinced me it had to be told, because it’s part of gay history and people should know. Looking back, it was good therapy: I’m not ashamed anymore.
Thank you.
Book Title: Boy One
Author and Publisher: Jaap Cové
Cover Artist: ricacabrex (Fiverr)
Release Date: April 1, 2024
Genres: Gay, M/M Memoir, non-fiction
Tropes: Secret love
Themes: Coming out, shame, fear, intergenerational relationships
Heat Rating: 3 flames
Length: 55 000 words/ 203 pages
It is a standalone book and ends on a sort of cliffhanger.
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Blurb
It is 1981. Jaap, a Dutch teenager, is a boy taking his first steps towards becoming a man. He’s reclusive, a wallflower with a handsome face and curly blond hair. He loves playing tennis and plays drums for a student rock band.
He is attracted to men and afraid of desires that he has not acted upon. By fortuitous accident, the Dutch teen meets Briton John D. Stamford, and his life changes. Stamford is the eccentric middle-aged editor of Spartacus International Gay Guide, the crucial book for gay male travelers. It listed both welcoming destinations and countries that carried strict penalties for homosexuality.
Jaap likes mature men; John prefers youths. BOY ONE is the record of their relationship, the deluxe global travel they did for John’s work, the eye-opening experiences of a sheltered teen, and the obsessive sexual relationship that developed.
Amid the glamor of five-star hotels and restaurants, conflicts arise. Jaap still thinks about having a girlfriend and wonders if he is bisexual. John is trying to push his young lover into something he’s not ready for—being openly gay all the time. Moreover, Jaap notices the Spartacus Guide lists opportunities for sex with underaged youths in places like Thailand. He suspects this is wrong. So do the police, who begin investigating John.
Despite the excitement and eroticism of their relationship, the moral issues grow until the two are at odds.
In BOY ONE, Jaap Cové tells the honest and gripping story of a remarkable part of his life. Revealing and outspoken, it is a unique, colorful and compelling coming-of-age story. It captures the excitement of international gay life in the early 80s, but it is also a troubling saga about morality and intergenerational relationships.
John picks me up at the airport with a taxi. We drop my bag in the RV that’s parked just outside Basel’s old center, but don’t stay there. John has other plans. I’m in for a romantic weekend. It’s snowy and below freezing point. I never expected the city to be so beautiful, or is it because we’re together again? We lunch in an upscale Konditorei, then walk arm in arm past the historical buildings in the old center. People on the pavement glare at us, but John doesn’t let go of my arm. It feels warm and safe. We visit the Gothic church and head to the quay of the river Rhine, where we kiss. There are people watching, which makes it more exciting. Protected by John, I don’t feel any embarrassment. I exist in a constant state of being crazy in love.
He takes me to my first gay sauna in the old town to warm up. As we enter a dimly-lit steam room, I lose John in the mist. In no time, there are many hands all over my body, touching my ass, my cock and my torso. I am scared.
As I adjust to the light, I look into the faces of the young men groping me and start to panic. I want to break free, but they won’t let me. Someone shoves his tongue between my lips. I wriggle to get away from the mass of bodies. Just as I reach the point of using force, I feel a hand pull me from the crowd. John pulls me close and embraces me. He smiles and tries to calm me.
‘You didn’t like that?’ he asks.
‘No, I panicked.’
‘Come, let’s get out of here.’
He takes me to a private room where we make love on a rubber bed covered with towels. Our session isn’t long and elaborate as it would have been in the RV. It turns me on just the same. I’m quickly positioned on my belly by his big hands, feeling the cold KY-jelly on my ass, after which he carefully pushes his warm cock inside. Pleasing John, giving my lover what he wants, in the way he wants it, excites me. I become hard as a rock. This man owns me when we make love.
Downstairs in the bar area later, we have a drink. I play with the thought that John planned the episode in the steam room. At the same time, the thought is ridiculous. I can’t imagine him telling all those guys that his lover from Holland would be visiting, and asking them to give me a warm welcome.
‘It was almost like they were waiting for me,’ I say. ‘All those hands on me.’
‘Why is that strange? Have you looked in the mirror lately?’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re very handsome, Jake. You’re a fucking knockout.’
I don’t know what to say, since no one ever told me that. I know I’m not ugly, but a knockout? I’m tall and slender, not muscled. And I’ve always been on the shy side, not confident about my looks. All my life people have told me that my blond curls are beautiful. But women couldn’t keep their hands off my hair when I was a young boy and I didn’t enjoy that.
‘And you have such a hot ass,’ he adds with a big smile. Then he kisses me.
As I take a sip of my drink, I think about how my life has changed. In less than three months, I have made the metamorphosis from Dordrecht wallflower to Basel knockout. My self-esteem balloons.
But something is gnawing at me.
‘So when you’re here on your own, I suppose those hands are on you, too, right?’
‘Why do you ask?’
‘I don’t like that thought.’
‘No, that doesn’t happen to me. I’m getting too old, Jake. Older gay people are less appealing in this world. You’ll find out.’
‘I find that hard to believe. When you walk around here naked, people look.’
‘I’m glad you think so.’ He smiles and looks past me, like he’s checking out the other guys. ‘But to answer your real question, yes, I do play around when I’m on my own.’
‘What… you mean, you still do, even though we’re lovers?’
‘Yes.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Remember that black kid we met in a bar in Nice on our last evening? I fucked him soon after you left.’
That’s a sudden bucket of ice water. I put down my drink and sit frozen. I want to go home. Now.
John continues sipping his drink. ‘It’s all right, Jake; it meant nothing. I love you.’
Jaap Cové (1962) studied anthropology and debuted in 2011 with his novel Walking Among Us, followed by Cajú (2012) and The Girl in the Web (2017). Dog Gone (2023) was his first nonfiction narrative. Boy One is his first memoir.
From my website:
Jaap Cové is an anthropologist, a drummer, a flautist, a globetrotter, and an author of fiction and nonfiction. His novels are filled with mystery, spirituality, symbolism and music. His nonfiction is a reflection of his eventful life.
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