Reviewed by Sadonna
TITLE: Promises of Forever
AUTHOR: Nicky James
NARRATOR: Nick J. Russo
PUBLISHER: self-published
LENGTH: 10 hours and 35 minutes
RELEASE DATE: February 26, 2024
BLURB:
Life can change on a dime.
Childhood tragedy left Koa Burgard with many scars. Reclusive and still healing, he is sent to summer camp, where the other kids tease and bully. All except the outgoing, popular boy from his cabin. A boy who dreams about being a hockey star. A tentative friendship forms. Every summer, they reconnect for adventure. Every winter, they write letters back and forth.
Promises are made, and promises are shattered.
Thirty years later, the sudden death of his parents brings Jersey Reid home. Rotten things keep happening. His life has been full of torment and pain, and he can’t remember a time when he was happy.
Will it ever stop?
Cleaning out his deceased parents’ house, he uncovers his and Koa’s pen pal letters. Can Jersey recapture the happiness and innocence of youth by reconnecting with the strange, quirky boy he befriended at camp so long ago? Or will the mistakes he made before be a barrier?
Although Koa is now a respectable English teacher at an elite boarding school, Jersey quickly learns that the boy with dark secrets from camp is more troubled than ever.
Koa has given up on happiness. His views on life are bleak and disturbing, and he’s learned it’s better to be alone in an unforgiving world.
Jersey’s return offsets Koa’s balance and brings the past back into focus. A past he’s spent a lifetime trying to forget.
But Jersey was his savior once. He was kind when no one else was. Jersey made him feel safe in an unsafe world.
Until he broke a promise.
And promises are supposed to be for forever.
** Promises of Forever is an angsty MM romance with the following themes. Second chance love, hurt / comfort, jock and nerd dynamic, opposites attract, mental health. **
REVIEW:
Whew! This story is truly an emotional and gut wrenching tale. Koa’s trauma is unknown for most of the book. There are flashes and hints, but the actual reveal is not shared until quite late in the story. But there is a reason for that. Koa is not sure he can survive sharing his complete story. He’s convinced it will destroy what sanity he’s been able to maintain through extensive therapy and medications. He’s not wrong – he’s in a precarious mental state and he’s been disappointed too many times in the past.
Koa and Jersey’s story takes place over the course of several summers when they were at the same summer camp – until age 14. While it was a little bit bumpy and Koa was bullied and shunned and made fun of by the other boys, Jersey did his best to redirect and he was secretly friends with Koa. Even then Jersey knew something very bad had happened to Koa given his reaction to certain things that happen over the course of their camp summers. They were pen pals over the winter months. Jersey even gave Koa a friendship bracelet that Koa wore for years. That final summer – their last one at the camp because they were aging out – was a turning point. Koa sensed something more in his friendship with Jersey, but when he acted on it, Jersey blew up and they didn’t communicate for almost 30 years.
In the intervening years Koa has left his abusive home and eventually he earned a PhD. He is a well respected teacher at a private school. He teaches literature and philosophy and he well I guess manages. He has one friend – a colleague Niles – who is the music teacher at the school. After many years without contact, Koa’s grandfather is now dying and he feels nothing about that at all. He “does his duty” visiting twice a week, but he has cut ties with the man until this final illness and there is an end coming.
Jersey’s ride has been bumpy as well. He married, had a son, played professional hockey and was living the dream. Then he lost everything after a career-ending injury that left him in constant pain despite two surgeries. He became addicted to pain medication, lost his job, his wife and his son – even his parents. He managed to get clean, went back to school and works as a physiotherapist. He has also acknowledged his bisexuality at this point. But when he experiences the sudden loss of his parents and he comes back to his childhood home, he discovers the letters he traded with Koa and he wonders what if? Where is he? What has he been doing with his life? He also feels terrible about the way he left that last summer. So he decides to try to find him and at least apologize if not rekindle their friendship.
What he finds is not exactly what he expects. Sure the academic success and teaching make sense. But the rest of it? Again, Koa doesn’t seem to care about anything. He has one friend who is also a former lover, but that’s it. It’s teaching, visiting his grandfather, writing in his journal, talking to his cat and walking in the cemetery near his house. He takes no joy in anything really – it’s all pointless anyway. They do spend time together and grow closer, but Koa still exhibits a level of detachment even from Jersey. What’s the point? Everyone is going to die anyway. Not going to change that.
Then a crisis causes Niles and Jersey to determine that in many ways, Koa is really just hanging on by a thread. He is very close to the edge and if Jersey can’t reach him, they may lose him to the darkness.
Wow wow wow. This is a joltingly good story. Initially I kept thinking – where they heck is CPS? Why was Koa being raised by someone who clearly was not helping him. Then I realized the initial part of the story takes place in the early 90s and quite frankly the focus and understanding of children’s mental health was just not as advanced as it is today. And the emphasis in getting a family member to take a child rather than putting them in foster care is still the preferred outcome. But even today, kids in bad situations fall through the cracks far too frequently. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and find out what really happened to Koa – like the whole story. The tension builds and builds and builds and at one point I thought we’d never find out. But Nicky James masterfully winds this story up to its rightful placement and conclusion. Koa and Jersey are men who have not had an easy path in many ways. When they rekindle their friendship, there is a lot at stake for both of them. Koa’s friend Niles is a wonderful friend and he helps even though he maybe is a little hurt by the results. The epilogue was more of an HRN, but with promise and hope 🙂 I sure would like to see Niles get his own HEA 😉 Certainly one of the hardest won HFN/HEAs I’ve read. Bravo!
Nick J. Russo. What can I say. A masterful job of voicing these characters from age 10 to 45. I could not have enjoyed this narration and performance any more. The devastation of Koa. The cluelessness of Jersey. The heartfelt sorrow and apologetic attempts to acknowledge the hurt that Jersey caused. The disconnect of Koa from the rest of humanity. The evolution of both men to become who they needed to be – for themselves and for each other. Perfection! Highly recommended.
RATING: 
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