Reviewed by Sadonna

TITLE:  Most of You

 SERIES:  The Beginning of Always

AUTHOR:  E.M. Lindsey

PUBLISHER:  Self-published

LENGTH:  267 pages

RELEASE DATE:  December 20, 2023

BLURB:

There he was…

Shirtless.
Wearing glasses.
Chopping wood like some kind of fantasy lumberjack.

And Emil was officially helpless.

Moving to the East Coast, Emil was there for two things exactly: to become a better person, and to face the part of his past he’d spent his entire life avoiding.

He most certainly hadn’t planned on falling in love.

It was one thing to sleep with his absurdly hot neighbor for a single, steamy one-night-stand, but it was quite another to become friends. And the longer Emil knows Renzo, the harder it is to walk away.

However, Emil has no faith in his ability to change, no matter how hard he tries, and he just wishes Renzo would believe him. He just wishes the man would stop giving him hope that behind those soft kisses was everything he’d ever wanted, and more.

Most Of You is a stand-alone, angsty, one-night-stand to lovers romance with mall Santa mishaps, bonfires, New Year’s kisses, the merits of a well-made hot chocolate, tons of praise, and a steamy, swoony happily ever after.

REVIEW:

Emil is in a holding pattern.  He’s left his former life behind and moved to the East Coast.  He hasn’t told anyone, but his mother has died and he needs to deal with things.  But his childhood was so traumatic and he hadn’t seen his mother since he was a teenager.  He needs to close this chapter of his life though.  Even his few friends don’t know what his life was like and what kind of trauma he’s been dealing with.

Renzo is staying at his sister Camilla’s house with his brother who has Williams Syndrome while she is on vacation.  He is a chemistry professor and he’s on Christmas break between semesters to this schedule works out for him.  Matty, Renzo’s brother likes things a certain way and they have a good routine going.  Matty’s got his job and Renzo loves his brother and he takes both seriously.  He notices the man at the house next door that an old lady died while he’s out chopping wood for Matty’s fire.  He worries that the man is cold.

When Emil is there trying to get rid of the past, Renzo finds him and helps him with his bonfire 🙂  He invites Emil in and they have a one-night stand.  Emil is surprised at how much he enjoys being with Renzo and he takes his number, but he’s not sure he can be someone who deserves Renzo.  Emil also makes an unexpected friend who shares the name of her therapist and Emil finally thinks it’s time to start dealing with things.  He’s stopped drinking and now it’s time to face the other things that he’s done.

When Emil and Renzo meet again, it’s a totally serendipitous occasion that involved Matty as well.  Things are just aligning for these two to get together 🙂  But Renzo and Emil are both very much in their heads and when the get together at the house again, they discover they have more in common than they think – and are connected in other ways.  That little discovery just about derails everything.

Emil is trying to be a better man – he feels like he has a lot to atone for.  Renzo is totally gun shy because of his narcissistic ex.  They are both on unsure footing and they have a lot of stuff going on in their lives that need dealing with.  Renzo is trying to make the holidays perfect for his brother as well so there are other pressures as well.  But maybe, just maybe this new year will be a new beginning for both of them.

As usual E.M. Lindsey is the master of describing characters who are dealing with a lot, showing us their humanity and revealing that imperfect humans are worthy of love.  Those characters can then find someone who will love them if they can make themselves vulnerable enough to accept that love.  In this book, both Emil and Renzo have experienced trauma and are struggling to figure out their paths forward.  This author is quite adept at describing the aftermath of lifetimes of less than stellar experiences.  They never sugarcoat the work it takes to deal with the toxicity – including the use of therapy and the difficulty of communicating honestly while acknowledging that the decision to share is a personal decision.  I loved the advice that Emil didn’t owe anyone information about his childhood and that sharing that was his decision with those he deemed worthy to know about it.  Renzo dealing with his narcissistic ex and understanding the number that had been done on him was debilitating for a while but he begins to realize that he can risk letting Emil into his life.  Definitely one of the best holiday or any book I’ve read this year.  Two beautifully human characters who deal with their pasts and find the support and love they need and deserve to help each of them heal.  Highly recommended.

RATING:

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