Reviewed by: Sue Eaton
TITLE: All I Want for Christmas is Tentacles
SERIES: Tinsel and Tentacles
AUTHOR: Chloe Archer
PUBLISHER: Rainbow Dreams Press
LENGTH: 277 pages
RELEASE DATE: November 24, 2023
BLURB:
Seasons greetings and alien abductions! Can two misfits find love together? It might just take a Christmas miracle! Let’s hope Santa doesn’t mind that tentacles can be both naughty and nice…
Khephren
There’s no way in Helgar’s Nebula I’m marrying the candidate my parents have chosen for me. I don’t want to be the house-husband of some stoic warrior who only cares about training all day. Boring! Thankfully, I’ve learned a thing or two from all those rom-com human movies I’ve illegally downloaded off the intergalactic web. No one will see it coming when I pull a runaway groom maneuver on them!
Once I make my escape, I can go on the solo honeymoon of my dreams—to planet Earth. It’s almost that wondrous time of year when they celebrate their holiday known as “Christmas.” Human Hallmark movies make it seem so magical. I want to experience it for myself! Now, I just need to find a human who can make my wish come true and help me have an authentic holly jolly time…
Sasha
Scrooge was right when he said “bah humbug” to Christmas. This time of year sucks balls, and not the fun kind. I’ve just lost my crappy part-time job and I’m slowly sinking under a sea of student loan debt and crushed dreams.
Just when I think my life couldn’t possibly get any worse, my cat and I are abducted by an alien who wants me to help him experience a “real human Christmas” on his ship. WTF? Clearly he’s chosen the worst possible candidate for the job.
But there’s something about Khephren’s enthusiasm and eternal optimism that starts to melt even my grumpy, cynical heart. Heck, I even agree to be his fake fiancé to get his parents off his back! I don’t know what’s happening to me, but Khephren’s charm is making me feel things I never have before. And those bright pink tentacles of his are strangely fascinating. I can’t help but wonder what all they can do…
As we spend more time together, I start to realize I might not want to go home and that maybe, just maybe, I’ve found what I’ve always been looking for. Could Khephren feel the same? If so, it would be a Christmas miracle and I don’t believe in those…right?
REVIEW:
This is a wonderful Christmas book with a sci-fi twist, which makes it so much better. I really enjoyed this sci fi book with a dash of Christmas.
Khephren is an alien computer nerd, who loves all the rom coms he downloads from the intergalactic web but his out and out favourites are the Hallmark Christmas movies. He is determined to see all the delights the galaxy has to offer despite his parents setting him up to get married. He makes his escape with his two best friends and hot foots it to Earth to grab a human so he can experience all the delights of a human Christmas. After all its not really kidnapping if it’s in the spirit of Christmas and every human loves Christmas as it’s the most magical time of the year.
Sasha had big dreams of making movies, but after being ostracized by his family and failing to break into the film industry, he’s in a dead end job and only has his cat for company. The last thing he expects is to be beamed aboard a spaceship and get whisked away across the galaxy. The aliens don’t want to experiment on him, in fact, they want a taste of a human Christmas. The season that Sasha loathes.
Khephren is an eternal optimist, upbeat and smiling, nothing gets him down. Sasha is a grumpy anti-Christmas, snarky soul, who has had many struggles and guards his heart, determined that nobody will ever get close and hurt him the way his family hurt him.
I loved the messages between Khephren and his online friends, asking for and getting advice on what to do, they were so funny, as are the acronyms of Khephren secret project. Sasha’s pet cat was mistaken for a Goddess and parents who think they know best and interfere out of love.
Khephren is so sweet and puts so much effort into arranging dates for Sasha, taking him to an alien market and showing him one of the galaxy’s most spectacular views. They are a great couple, little by little Khephren’s sunny nature and optimism thaws the ice around Sasha’s heart. But what will happen once Christmas is over, will Sasha go back to his lonely, hard life on Earth? Will Khephren sail away on his tour of the galaxy? They both wrestle with what will happen next. All they need is the courage to speak the truth and let their emotions guide them to what they both want.
A sweet and joyful Christmas tale with tentacles.
RATING: 
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