Reviewed by Sadonna
TITLE: Pictures of You
SERIES: ’90s Coming of Age
AUTHOR: Leta Blake
NARRATOR: Michael Ferraiuolo
PUBLISHER: Self-published
LENGTH: 10 hours and 8 minutes
RELEASE DATE: August 24, 2023
BLURB:
Peter Mandel is an 18-year-old private school senior who’s passionate about photography and bent on keeping his attractions secret. Enter Adam Algedi, a charming, worldly guy who doesn’t do labels, but does want to do Peter.
Swept away on a journey of first love and intimate discovery, Peter hopes for a future where he won’t have to hide his truth. But as the web of lies he and Adam weave grows relentlessly tangled, can Peter find the confidence to do the right thing? Or will his crush on Daniel, a college acquaintance, put him on a different path?
Join Peter in the first book of this critically acclaimed trilogy as he struggles to love and be loved and to grow into a man worthy of his own respect.
Leta Blake’s ’90s Coming of Age series is a must-listen for fans of New Adult Romance and coming-of-age fiction.
This series by Leta Blake is an M/M New Adult Coming-of-Age Romance set in the early 1990s.
REVIEW:
Peter Mandel is starting his senior year at a private high school. He’s a closeted gay kid who has been bullied, harassed and beaten at his public high school. His father is a University professor and his mother is romance writer who spends her time in her home office and numbs herself and fights her depression with the pharmaceuticals of the day – mostly valium and alcohol. He’s a short nerdy guy who is into photography. At the orientation, Peter meets Sarah and Adam Algedi – transfers also from most recently Jordan. They live in Peter’s neighborhood and Adam takes an immediate liking to Peter.
Peter can’t believe his luck – immediately meeting such a cool guy who actually seems to like him. They start out as friends and Adam seems interested in Peter’s photography. But then things turn sexual. Adam tells Peter he can always tell when a guy is gay. Adam has a much more experienced past than Peter and he seems really into Peter. Peter is so happy he almost can’t stand it. Adam is his first kiss, his first blow job, his first everything. But when people start getting suspicious, Sarah and Adam have a plan to make sure that nobody finds out about them. Adam starts dating Leslie – another classmate. Peter becomes more and more jealous, but he still has sex with Adam. Adam keeps telling him he loves him despite also having sex with Leslie. Peter vacillates wildly between wanting to keep seeing Adam and feeling horribly guilty about deceiving Leslie and being her friend. Things get worse when another girl is dragged into it.
Meanwhile, Peter once again gets beat up by bullies. Adam comes to his defense but it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart. Peter is dealing with his parents who don’t listen to him either. He gets a part time job with a drag queen/video business owner that he’s met in the past with Adam. He also meets a college guy there that seems interested in him, but Daniel holds back because a) Peter is in HS and b) Peter has a boyfriend – even if it is a secret from everyone else in Peter’s life.
Things get hairy as high school graduation approached. Seems like Adam’s family also is not thrilled about Adam’s sexuality – particularly his father. They have mostly successfully kept things on the DL, but after graduation, when it’s not clear if they will ever even see each other again, Peter is finally resigned to the fact that he’s going to have to make his own life after Adam leaves for a summer in Europe and then a different college in the fall.
So this is not a “traditional” romance. There certainly is no happy ending. Not even a HFN – for anyone. Full disclosure: I graduated from HS in 1980 so this is a bit after my time. By 1990, I was working in benefits and filing death claims for a lot of gay men dying of AIDS 🙁 My HS friends who were gay were totally closeted. One of my friends came out in college – which was incredibly brave in the early 80s. He told me later that he had come out to one of our HS teachers and was basically ghosted. Turns out that teacher was gay also but didn’t come out for over 20+ years after a long marriage and two kids. (He and his ex are still best friends, he’s got a great relationship with his kids, has grandkids and he’s remarried to man now who is also great guy). A bunch of my HS friends didn’t come out for years. Some dated women – lots of women serially – for cover. Some were even engaged to women. They tried really hard NOT to be gay. Luckily the majority of them are happily living their lives now and have been for decades. Some are married to wonderful men. Some are happily single. One sadly did not live see 30. This was a really rough time period.
All that being said, I can’t say I enjoyed this story. It’s an important story and very well written, but I didn’t like it. Then there is the gut punch reveal that partially explains Peter’s mother’s distance (which I saw coming a mile away). I can’t imagine the pain she was in. Trauma like that requires an incredible amount of work to keep addressing and I’m guessing in 1990, there were VERY few options for therapy to combat/work through those kinds of events. I think today therapy has improved so much and perhaps she would have had more therapy and less chemical dependence.
Quite honestly there are very few likable characters in this story – with the exception of a few teachers, Robert and Barry, Daniel, Leslie and Susan. Maybe I was lucky in that my high school friend groups was not that worried about their social status. I went to public school in a smaller town with only one high school, so the socioeconomic differences were pretty vast everybody was pretty much over that by HS. I was also in music and academics, so I had my focus on other things rather than any party – which my parents wouldn’t have let me attend anyway 😀 The joke was we wouldn’t have gotten away with anything because someone would have called all our parents before we even got home. I felt like these kids were pretty vicious and it was such a dog eat dog kind of environment. I know times have changed and I hear now mean girl stuff starts in kindergarten, so maybe I was just extra lucky. Also, fair warning that there is a LOT of sex in this story, so it’s definitely not YA.
Michael Ferraiuolo performed the hell out of this story. Good god the angst! Peter has got a lot to deal with and feels like he’s won the lottery with meeting Adam when his senior year begins. Little does he know the highs and the lows he’s about to experience. We definitely feel his pain throughout this story thanks to the emotional execution of this audio book. The way Peter is torn about being with Adam and the real deceit he is involved in while Adam is also dating Leslie is just heartbreaking. Adam really seemed to want his cake and eat it too and I felt like he traded on knowing that Peter didn’t have other options and had never had any sort of a relationship before. My take was that Adam was manipulative to get what he wanted – keep his social status and still have Peter as his dirty little secret. Sure he stood up for Peter when he was being physically attacked, but the rest of the time, he definitely was more worried about himself. I felt like Mr. Ferriaolo definitely did justice to all of the characters in this story – and there were many. The bad guys sounded vicious. The pain of all these characters is just fraught with emotion. The grief and pain and abandonment – and especially the betrayal are really difficult to listen to. I just wanted Peter to move on. In my humble opinion, the audio enhanced this story quite a bit. I’m ready for what comes next – and I hope it’s a bit happier for Peter 🙂 Recommended
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