Reviewed by Valerie
TITLE: Everything I Didn’t Know
AUTHOR: Nicky James
PUBLISHER: Self Published
LENGTH: 433 pages
RELEASE DATE: July 13, 2023
BLURB:
It was supposed to be an escape. A new life living off the land.
It was supposed to be a peaceful community. A family.
But it was a lie.
Six months after he arrived, Bowie learned the hard truth about Oasis.
There are rules, and they are made to be followed.
The consequence of disobedience is deadly.
Once you’re in Oasis, you’re never getting out. And its cultish founder has eyes everywhere.
One year into his survival, with a plan to escape slowly simmering to life, Bowie is faced with a problem. New members have joined the community, among them a man who catches Bowie’s eye. Foster is attractive, older, and so far as Bowie is concerned, completely unavailable. This doesn’t stop Foster from flirting or poking his nose where it doesn’t belong. His reckless behavior will get him in trouble, but Foster doesn’t seem to realize he’s playing with fire.
One wrong step and history will repeat itself.
Bowie can’t allow that to happen and telling Foster the truth about Oasis comes with risks.
A fragile alliance forms. A budding romance develops. And more secrets are unveiled.
When their plans fall apart, Bowie and Foster find themselves in a tangled race to escape Oasis and expose the commune before it’s too late.
REVIEW:
Everything I Didn’t Know is a suspenseful account of Bowie and Foster’s time in a cult, their desire to get away from it, and the romance that blossoms during this trying time. It’s a fascinating story with Nicky James deftly juggling the love story with the intriguing inner workings of a fictional cult run by a sociopathic leader – Father Wilder – and the associated emotions: fear, anger, defeat, sexual attraction, curiosity, and so much more.
Bowie has been at Oasis, a peaceful community (cult) for eighteen months. Head honcho, Father Wilder, is on a mission to purify Mother Earth by eradicating those who are doing her harm and causing her environmental demise. It’s not the experience Bowie thought it would be, and while he appears content, his rage boils just below the surface. For self-preservation, he makes himself appear strong and eager to follow Father’s teachings. He complacently fulfills the role Father Wilder expects of him. But he knows that once you’re accepted into the community, there’s no way out. Very few seem to realize this; the other members seem to be serene and relaxed, thankful for this haven Father has provided for them to be champions of the earth.
“Father Wilder alone gave the community meaning and purpose. He was loved beyond measure”
Foster is the first person Bowie has encountered who seems skeptical. He and his girlfriend, Paxton, join Oasis looking for a more peaceful life living off the land and off the grid. Foster is aimless and easily bored. He hopes Oasis will provide him with a calmer, more settled life. Foster can’t contain his curiosity and appears to be on a potentially dangerous quest to know more about Oasis, even though Bowie and Paxton warn him that his incessant questions could get him in trouble. The tension and suspense ratchet up while we wait to see if Foster is punished.
Despite his discontent, Bowie has grown attached to Oasis and Father. He’s provided with love, family, and friends – a sense of home he’s been lacking. He’s been starved of familial love for so long he’s falling for Father’s affections. He begins to relish it even though he despises the man. It’s something akin to Stockholm Syndrome.
“I was too afraid? Too comfortable? Somedays, I couldn’t tell whose side I was on. It was too easy to get sucked into the folds of community and family. Too easy to bask in the love given freely by Father Wilder. A love that had been deprived to me for all my life.”
There is mutual attraction but they’re slow to act on it. For one thing, Foster has a girlfriend. But Bowie is so lonely and he’s excited, but confused, by Foster’s stolen glances and lust-filled stares. His fantasies are awakened by Foster after eighteen months of abstinence. Soon there are tender moments like Foster touching Bowie’s cheek and lips and brushing back his hair. These are the kind of moments I live for in my romance books, the kind of gestures that indicate growing intimacy. I liked the sex scenes, too, but if I had to choose the intensity of those emotions versus sex without them, I’d take the former. Happily, this book has both.
Nicky’s world building is on point. I felt like I could picture Oasis and it’s remote, agricultural location. Her lovely descriptions sparked my imagination so that the people, their activities, and day to day life were so easy to see in my mind. In fact, the book was so realistic it read as nonfiction at times and I loved that.
The ultimate goal is to escape but it seems impossible. If Bowie and Foster are caught they’ll be killed. Nicky builds the tension to the point I was actually scared for them. It’s the hallmark of a fantastic suspense writer if she can make you have such a emotional reaction for fictional characters. This is a wonderful, standalone novel. Highly recommended.
RATING: 
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