Title: From the Universe to Me
Author: Scott E. Garrison
Publisher: NineStar Press
Release Date: 04/11/2023
Heat Level: 3 – Some Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 59500
Genre: Contemporary, age gap, coming of age, college, friends to lovers, in the closet, mental illness, teaching, family drama, new adult
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Description
Eighteen-year-old Tobias Gavin is struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. For many years, the what-ifs of coming out have swirled around his head, so he has chosen to live a lie to keep from disrupting the “normal” life he has created with his family and friends.
That is until he meets Gareth David the day he enrolls for his first semester as a college student. He feels an immediate connection with Gareth…a connection that pushes Tobias to question the way he has been living his life. When Gareth coincidentally becomes, Tobias’s History professor, Tobias is forced to confront his feelings and confront the universe.
Tobias must come to terms his depression, anxiety, heartbreak, and his sexuality before he can even begin to heal his wounds. He believes that everything happens for a reason, but he learns that some experiences are meant to teach even if they cause heartbreak. Once he comes to terms with himself, he might find his knight in shining armor.
Tobias must learn to trust himself and those around him if he wants to find happiness.
From the Universe to Me
Scott E. Garrison © 2023
All Rights Reserved
I’m giddy as I leave Dr. Richards’s office… I mean Helena’s office. I will never get used to that. My teachers until now have always encouraged us to speak formally to them. It has always been Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. Blah Blah.
I look at my phone to see if my mom will be off work yet. I can’t wait to tell her I can get enrolled in all the classes I selected prior to my enrollment meeting. Unfortunately, it is only 3:00 PM, so she will not be off work yet. Instead, I call one of my best friends, Cydney Williams. She will be happy to know we will have the same English Composition class together.
“What’s up, C-dog?”
“Tobi, how many times have I told you not to call me C-dog? It sounds like it is short for the C-word or bitch,” she scolds me, but I can hear the smile in her voice and know she gave a dramatic eye roll.
“Never mind that, Cyd. I have some awesome news. I got enrolled for my first semester and pause for dramatic effect… I will be in your English Comp class!”
She laughs, “Only you would get excited about enrolling for college, but yes, to support your nerdiness, I’m so happy you could get enrolled in that class. What else are you taking?”
“Well, I’m taking the freshman History class, choir, a theater course, college algebra, English Comp, and general biology. I hear they are doing Little Women the Musical, and I plan on auditioning for Professor Baer. You know I was born to play that role.”
“Well, duh! Everyone who’s anyone knows you are a meant to be Professor Nerd, the most dramatic historian in all Nerdsville. I hear Nerdsville is having a slow tourist season this year. Care to comment?” She loves giving me shit about my love for school, even though she is as studious as I am.
“Ha-ha, hilarious,” I say sarcastically.
“So, dude. Did you meet any cute girls while you explored campus?”
This question haunts me in any social situation. My parents ask me this any time I go on a school trip. I know they are making conversation and taking an interest in my love life, but my responses are rehearsed. I feel like I’m lying to everyone in my life about who I am.
The fact people still struggle with coming out to their friends and family is fucking ridiculous. Life should not be this difficult, and I wish the closet didn’t exist; however, I know deep down I’m comfortable with its existence because the closet has kept me safe for so long as I attempt to find myself.
I do my best to mask my obligatory lie with humor like I always do. “You know me. I’m a young Chris Evans.” Sometimes, I feel like a horrible friend and son because I’m not honest with my loved ones. I can’t accept this part of myself, so why should they? I feel exposed when I’m asked about girls, so I do my best to guide the conversation in a different direction.
Gareth enters my mind. I’m fully shaken by his ability to make me feel normal. I felt free for a moment. I didn’t feel like hiding behind a wall or mask. I felt like I could be myself around him, which is something I’m not used to feeling.
“You wish you were a young Chris.” She scoffs. “You are too shy. You need to put yourself out there. You don’t want to become Steve Carrell’s character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.”
A half-hearted snicker escapes my lips. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you the good news. I’ve got to go to work. Have a wonderful afternoon. See you tonight.”
I hang up on her before she mentions my lack of game again. She is one of my best friends, but she gives me a lot of sarcasm. I think that is why we get along so well. We are extremely sarcastic people.
I drive to our ranch-style one-level home that looks similar to the other houses in our neighborhood. No originality in our town. As I get ready for my glamorous job as grocery store bag boy at the Food Emporium my dad manages, my mind wanders to Gareth again. Could he be flirting with me, or is that all in my head? Do I even care if he was flirting?
I’m straight, I yell internally a few hundred times as I get dressed for work.
I can’t help thinking about Gareth and his plump lips. I picture myself leaning in to kiss him, but I don’t let myself finish the scenario. I lie down on the bed as I look at the ceiling, wondering what all of these thoughts mean.
I’m not gay. I’m straight, I repeat to myself for the thousandth time. It has become my personal mantra over the years.
But… Gareth is something so spectacular. I can’t stop thinking about him. He is such a gorgeous man, but me recognizing that doesn’t make me gay, right? Straight men can call other guys handsome and keep their “straightness.”
I need to forget about Gareth. I might see him in passing at school, but I never have to worry about being in his class. He is a graduate student, and even once he graduates, they would not let him teach upper-level classes at first. I will not even have to worry about him. He will never be my teacher, and I will never be his student. I head out to my car to go to work, and as I back out of the driveway, I think to myself again. He will never be my professor, and I will never be his student, which means I have nothing to worry about.
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Scott E. Garrison is a debut author, who wants to share new, queer stories with the world. He currently lives in the Oklahoma City, OK area.
Alongside writing, he has a Masters in Library and Information Studies and works as a Librarian Manager for an Oklahoma-based library system. He spends his free time reading, baking, watching movies and TV shows with his husband, and cuddling with his dogs, Jarvis and F.R.I.D.A.Y.
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