Reviewed by Valerie
TITLE: What the Heart Sees
AUTHOR: Ileana Lallain
PUBLISHER: Dreamspinner Press
LENGTH: 288 pages
RELEASE DATE: February 1, 2022
BLURB:
Friends since childhood Zach and Ethan come from different worlds… and it’s never been more apparent.
For the past semester, Ethan has been struggling with a botched operation that cost him what remained of his vision. He lives in a squalid apartment with his loving aunt and his alcoholic mother, barely scraping by. How can he tell rich-boy Zach, who has the perfect life, that he has gone blind?
When Zach returns from a semester abroad, the only thing on his mind is confessing his love for Ethan. Discovering Ethan has lost his sight doesn’t change his feelings. Desperate to prove his love, he comes out to his conservative parents—and finds himself disowned.
Cut off by his family, Zach has only Ethan to lean on. But how can he, when Ethan suffers one devastating personal loss after another? Instead Zach resolves to stand on his own and do what it takes to support them both.
Through grief, denial, depression, trauma, and therapy, Zach and Ethan struggle to be there for each other. Will their love be enough for them to build a future together that is nothing like either of them ever imagined?
REVIEW:
What the Heart Sees is the debut novel for author Ileana Lallain. It’s an angst-fest starring a blind college student who, along with his boyfriend, suffers unbearable losses, one after another, within a few months.
Best friends Ethan and Zach met in first grade and sixteen years later are nearing college graduation. Zach comes from a very wealthy, uber-religious family while Ethan is barely getting by in a small apartment with his aunt and alcoholic mother. In the seven months prior to the beginning of the book, Zach was away in London for a semester abroad. Sadly, during that time, Ethan had surgery on his eyes to correct his deteriorating vision, but something went wrong leaving him completely without sight. Zach wasn’t there to help Ethan – he didn’t even email or text much – and when he returns, Ethan pushes him away. All Zach wants to do is confess his love for Ethan but Ethan refuses to speak to him.
When they finally get on more even footing, one tragedy after another strikes the young men, threatening their individual mental health and the stability of their relationship. While Ethan and Zach experience truckloads of angst, it didn’t affect me very much. The sadness I should’ve felt never struck because I wasn’t invested in either man. These are not dimensional characters and have very little backstory. There’s no basis for Zach’s feelings for Ethan, only mention that he was dating girls. Ethan isn’t much beyond his blindness. Even the depiction of his depression is superficial. Zach wasn’t fleshed out either beyond caring for Ethan. As a couple, they lacked passion and romance.
For as much as Zach loved Ethan and tried so hard to take care of him, he acted unintentionally abusive at times. For example, he wanted to take Ethan on a surprise outing. Ethan, who obviously feels out of control not being able to see and navigate through the world, depends on Zach. He repeatedly begged Zach to tell him where they were going but Zach refused. He ignored Ethan’s increasing anxiety and pleas to stop. He even tugged Ethan through the forest running, where he subsequently fell and had a panic attack. It was upsetting to read and felt so out of character for Zach.
Another thing that threw me was how the author talked about how expressive Ethan’s eyes were: they were lust filled, they were filled with questions, they glazed over. I guess this was meant figuratively, but it struck me as odd.
There are bones for a good story here but the underdeveloped characters and the overly dramatic storyline didn’t capture me enough. If you like high angst, perhaps you’ll find it more satisfying.
RATING: 
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