Fog surrounds us, but that makes absolutely no sense. Then again, none of this does.

It’s dark, I can hardly see, and as Gillard separates from the group, he glances at me over his shoulder. Only, it’s not Gillard. It’s Courter. Then the face morphs into Parsons.

I call out Tanner’s name, shouting over the increasing sounds of helo blades getting closer. When I glance down at my body, blood oozes from every pore. 

“Saint,” a voice that doesn’t belong here says. He says it over and over again. Saint. Saint.

The voice is distant, but it holds so much hope. It gives me a reason to hold on.

“Saint!”

I blink, and the army green material of the tent comes into focus.

I’m covered in sweat, and I’m disoriented until Iris’s face appears above me.

“You awake now?” he asks.

I squint. “I think.”

“I didn’t want to touch you in case you took a swing at me or thought I was a threat—”

My lips quirk. “Oh, you’re a threat all right.”

Why does that sound flirty? Am I still asleep? Is this about to turn into a porn dream? Yes, please.

Iris gets to his knees next to my cot, and yep, this is totally a porno dream. “You were calling out for one of your teammates.”

“Jealous it wasn’t your name?” I snark.

“Totally. I was tempted to take you here and now while you’re half asleep and having a PTSD episode so you could start calling out my name instead.”

I wave him off. “It’s not an episode. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Saint, and that’s okay.”

Slowly, I sit up and put my legs over the side of the cot. My head’s a little fuzzy like it has been a lot since my injuries, but I don’t think I’m on the edge of some breakdown. “I don’t think it’s PTSD per se. It’s probably classified as it, but it doesn’t seem like it’s trying to hold me back. It’s almost like …”

“Like what?”

“It’s like my brain is trying to remember what happened, but the harder it tries, the more facts get mixed up. I dreamed that I was freezing cold, and everywhere was covered in fog. I know that can’t be real. The rest …”

“I know it’s hard to accept, but the rest doesn’t matter. If you get your memory back, what will it change?”

“Maybe I’ll find out what really happened to Parsons. I can’t help feeling for his family. They don’t have closure. I checked. He’s still officially MIA.”

“We might not have retrieved his tags, but I think we both know there was no surviving what you guys went through.”

“I survived.”

“With a lot of help.”

I lean forward and run my hands through my hair. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Did you want to talk about it, or do you want me to distract you?”

“Distract me. Definitely.”

“Hmm.” He rubs his chin. “How about some lame jokes?”

“I don’t need to know your life story, thanks.”

“Ooh, the man’s got snark.”

“Says the snarkiest person I know.”

“That is true. I am fabulous.” Iris leans back against the wall of the tent, sinking into the mesh like a backrest. “So, two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, ‘Do you know how to drive this thing?'”

It takes me a second, and then I’m laughing.

“See, jokes so bad they’re funny.”

“No, no, I’m laughing out of pity.”

“Where do generals keep their armies?”

“In their sleevies,” I answer. “Please, my nieces told me that one. You know, back before my brothers disowned me and I was allowed to see them.”

“Wow, dude. Here I am trying to cheer you up, and you go to dark places. How do you know if there’s an Air Force pilot at your party?”

“How?”

“Oh, don’t worry. He’ll tell you as soon as he walks in.”

“It’s funny because it’s true,” I say.

“Hooah. Okay, I have the perfect one that you will laugh at because it will make you think of me.”

“I’m ready.”

“What’s the difference between the Boy Scouts and the army?”

“What?”

“Boy Scouts have adult supervision.”

He’s right. I do laugh. But probably not for the reason he’s thinking. “Fuck, I was an asshole back then.”

“Just back then?”

“There was definitely nothing to boast about after today’s training.”

“You were shot a gazillion times and survived. You’re lucky you’re alive, let alone walking and going back to work after six months.”

I nod. “I know. I’m really lucky. It’s just … I’ve never struggled at this stuff before, so it’s an adjustment.”

“You’ll get there. Before you know it, you’ll be kicking my ass and telling me I suck.”

I smile. “Can’t wait.”