Book Title: A Right To Know
Author: Jude Tresswell
Publisher: Self-published
Release Date: August 2021
Genres: M/M crime/mystery and relationships
Tropes: Love conquers all; unexpected visitor; false identity
Themes: Fear of rejection; data protection v. the right to know; compromise.
Trigger Warning: parental suicide
Heat Rating: 2 flames
Length: 57 300 words
It is book 7 in the County Durham Quad series, but can be read as a standalone story. Background information is worked in to help readers with the protagonists’ history.
Buy Links – Available in Kindle Unlimited
“A son! A child! How? Why? Fuck! Phil! You can’t have! And does this sperm-child want to see you?”
Blurb
“A son! A child! How? Why? Fuck! Phil! You can’t have! And does this sperm-child want to see you?”
Abandonment, trust, suspicion and compromise—integral parts of a mystery that involves industrial espionage, sperm donation and coming to terms with oneself and the truth.
Sperm donors know that now, under UK law, offspring who reach eighteen have the right to learn a donor’s identity and last known address, but Phil Roberts donated before the law was changed. He is shocked and dismayed to learn that he has a son called Lewis who intends to visit. Phil’s husband, Raith, is furious—and very scared.
What does Lewis Lennon really want? The man he has always called ‘dad’ is dead. Was his death suicide or was he murdered? Lewis wants Phil to find out. So, Phil, Raith, Mike and Ross, the County Durham Quad, plus their special friend, Nick, are embroiled in another investigation, but, as always, their relationships come under scrutiny too.
Extract from Chapter 14
Across the landing in the floral bedroom at the front of the house, Raith lay down beside Phil.
“I’m really sorry, Philly. I didn’t mean to upset him.”
“I know, love.”
“Things just come out.”
“I know that too, love, but what I’d really like to know is, do you still feel negative towards him?”
“No. He’s nice. He’s probably inherited his niceness from you.” A quick kiss on the cheek. Raith was very quiet for a minute. “Philly, you don’t sort of want people, do you? I mean, you want me, and Mike, and I know you want Ross but in a different way. I don’t know about Nick. Probably not with Nick. I mean, you get on with people when you have to talk to them, especially when you’re talking about work, but you don’t really want people. Like, socially or anything.”
“I’m a loner, you mean.”
“Well, a loner who needs me and Mike and Ross, but not other people.”
“I have needed other people at times but, yes, I wouldn’t call myself a needing-people person.”
“Apart from Mike and Ross and me and maybe Nick.”
“Apart from Mike and Ross and you and maybe Nick.”
“So, you don’t need Lewis. You don’t need a son, do you?”
“You ask some very awkward questions. Are you hoping I’ll say no?”
“No. I’m just wondering if I’ve got you sorted out right because I think I have.”
“Well, genetically, as I’ve told you, I did, I do want offspring. I’m sometimes surprised you don’t. Emotionally… sometimes I think that the things that happened when I was in my teens, trying to understand myself, my sexuality, everything… I sometimes think that I cut emotion off so that I wouldn’t feel it. Stunted its growth. Deprived it of the nutrients it needed to help it to grow into a normal, healthy, social animal. So, I’ve fucked with a lot of men, but I’ve been close to very, very few. I can count the close ones on the fingers of one hand. So maybe I’ve some issues with emotions and wanting to feel close to people, including people who are related to me. Do I need a son? I didn’t think I did. I’m still working it out, love, but I think I’m surprising myself. I was on tenterhooks earlier waiting for a call to say that Lewis was alright. I was so relieved when Mike rang from the car park. I picked up the phone and my hand was shaking.”
“Poor Philly.” Raith rubbed the back of Phil’s hand.
“Lewis knows what it’s like to love a father. I don’t know what it’s like to love a son. I know that he will never love me as sons love their fathers, but I’m beginning to think that perhaps I’m learning how fathers love their sons. I don’t know. That’s the best answer I can give you.”
“Well I’ll love him too, Phil. That’s a promise. I can say it because he’s yours and I can love him because of that. I’m not scared now even though you might love him. I don’t know why I’m not scared now, but I’m not. P’rhaps because he had a special place but it hurt too much to go there.”
“Pardon?”
“Just something. The cliffs there are red, you know. I don’t usually do reds. I like blues and greens. Maybe I’ll do a red.”
What was he talking about? “Oh, paint St Bees, you mean?”
“Yes. Then he won’t have to go there.”
“You’ve lost me, love.”
“No, I’d never lose you, Philly. I thought I might because of Lewis, but I was being stupid because I know I won’t. Can we go to sleep now?” Raith’s thoughts suddenly changed direction.
“Of course.”
Jude Tresswell lives in south-east England but was born and raised in the north, and that’s where her heart is. She is ace, and has been married to the same man for many years. She feels that she understands compromise. She supports Liverpool FC, listens to a lot of blues music and loves to write dialogue.
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