Because my monthly guest post is on the 28th, every year I get to speak to you on the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. Each year I use my guest slot to reflect on the state of the queer world. For the first few years I got to leave a hopeful message, things were improving, we finally had marriage equality, we had the most queer friendly president ever in Obama, and for the most part, the majority of people were trending our way.
Then the Orange Buffoon took office and set things in reverse. I could feel the increased animosity. In many ways it was worse than when I had come out almost thirty years before. Back then, every positive change made me hopeful for a better future. Watching an assault on the rights we fought so hard to achieve turned hope into fear.
Joe Biden, in my mind, is the most queer friendly president in our history. Short of an openly queer president, I don’t think anyone could be better for us than Biden. I remember seeing an interview with him and he made one of his famous ‘gaffs.” He said the Obama administration supported marriage equality. In my mind, it pushed Obama to take a more proactive position. I think Obama supported our rights, but was being cautious. Biden, however, said they supported it, and at that point Obama had to publicly acknowledge his support or else denounce it. I can’t say for sure if Biden planned it, or it really was a slip up.
With our new president I should be hopeful again, right? I’m not. First, I have this fear the radical right is going to come roaring back. History says they will probably retake the House of Representatives and the Senate in 2022. Trump is also making noise he will run again in 2024. Even if he doesn’t run again, his rhetoric is still firing up his supporters. The dominance of his brand of ‘politics’ – and I put that in quotes because he doesn’t have any policy, just hateful attacks on others – ensures that most of the Republican candidate with hew toward his hate filled positions to get elected and stay in power. They will keep the pedal down on attacking us and other minorities.
I still try to be hopeful. The younger generation – of all persuasions – are more sexual and gender fluid. They seem to care less and less about how one identifies sexually. Yes, there is still a significant minority of the younger set who accept and espouse their parent’s hate, but with each passing generation, they become fewer and fewer. I feel that if we can get past this rough patch and make it to the other side, we’ll see a return to the positive environment.
Twenty-seven years ago, I was in New York City for the 25th anniversary of Stonewall. It coincided with the 1994 Gay Games and my LGBTQ soccer team was playing in the tournament. (We didn’t do very well, but we were there.) I remember the huge rainbow flag that extended for city blocks. I remember wading through a sea of people gathered to watch, trying to get my friend. Everywhere you went, you saw people who were out loud and proud. It was an amazing experience that I doubt I’ll forget.
I think coming home from that parade was the first time I truly felt like we’d turned the corner and were going to see thing improve for the better. Change was slow, but it happened. I mean, 27 years ago, I couldn’t imagine being married with a child. Now, I cant imagine life without that.
To close on a positive note, each day we see more and more celebrates coming out. The response from the football world to Carl Nassib’s coming, at least so far, has been supportive. Change takes acceptance and visibility. More than ever I see that happening. When I first came to DC and my current job, I resolved to never be in the closet again. I put Mike’s picture on my desk and told anyone who asked that he was my boyfriend and I moved to DC to be with him. Soon after two others in my office who had never come out, did so after seeing the reaction (or lack of one) I received. That is why we come out, that is why we need to be visible. That is why we still can be hopeful.
Until next month.
~Andy
Andy Gallo:
Andy prefers mountains over the beach, coffee over tea, and regardless if you shake it or stir it, he isn’t drinking a martini. He remembers his “good old days” as filled with mullets, disco music, too-short shorts, and too-high socks. Thanks to good shredders and a lack of social media, there is no proof he ever descended into any of those evils.
Andy does not write about personal experiences and no living or deceased ex-boyfriends appear on the pages of his stories. He might subconsciously infuse his characters with some of their less noble qualities, but that is entirely coincidental even if their names are the same.
Married and living his own happy every after, Andy helps others find their happy endings in the pages of his stories. He and his husband of more than twenty years spend their days raising their daughter and rubbing elbows with other parents. Embracing his status as the gay dad, Andy sometimes has to remind others that one does want a hint of color even when chasing after their child.
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