Reviewed by Cheryl
TITLE: Love Him/ Hate Him
AUTHOR: Chris Bedell
PUBLISHER: Willow River Press
LENGTH: 185 pages
RELEASE DATE: February 16, 2021
BLURB:
17-year-old Connor doesn’t believe his best friend’s death was an accident. Falling down the stairs was random, and Connor can’t help but wonder if someone might’ve pushed her…
Determined to find out the truth, Connor starts his own investigation. Along the way, he discovers Evelyn’s affair with a married man and thought she was pregnant before she died. Connor thinks he’s found her killer, but an airtight alibi forces him to look in a new direction. Perhaps closer to home.
Complicating the situation more is Connor’s own secret – an unexpected hook up with Evelyn’s twin brother, Liam, at a party the previous spring. Afterward, Liam goes on a homophobic rant and punches Connor, leaving him confused. His confusion deepens when, after Evelyn’s death, Liam apologizes and they start to hook up secretly.
Liam is trapped between his attraction to Connor and his abusive father. Connor struggles with his growing attraction for Liam. Their secret rendezvous are fun, but if Connor is going to have more with Liam, he’ll have to be honest about his feelings and his suspicions on who killed Evelyn. Will either survive the truth coming out?
REVIEW:
The story starts with a bang for sure. Connor is on his way to his best friend’s house with other friends who want to tell her to go eff herself because they’re all sick of her being such a bitch. On arriving at her home it is to discover that Evelyn is, in fact, dead.
There follows a long and turbulent relationship between Connor and Evelyn’s brother, Liam. Overall there is the dark cloud of Evelyn’s murder and who killed her. Oh yes, Connor and Liam are convinced Evelyn was murdered and low key try to figure out who murdered her.
At times this book was heartbreaking. Both of these boys are lost, in different ways, and their fragility and vulnerability pull them apart many times, when the reader couldn’t be rooting more for their relationship. Even though I knew there would be a happy ending, there were plenty of moments when I wondered how on earth that would even be possible.
The writer doesn’t shy away from the dark side, with murder in the first chapter, domestic violence and alcoholism. Sometimes it seems as if the fates themselves have it in for these two.
There are times when the story was light and fluffy and others where it was dark and intense. Connor and Liam’s relationship is so up and down that rollercoaster doesn’t even begin to cover it. They both suffer so much but somehow, it’s not a dark book. Connor grows through the pages as he matures and his perspective changes. They both make bad choices, jump to wrong conclusions and overreact all the time, but they are teenagers and act as such.
If I have any criticism it is that the author often doesn’t use time breaks and it can be very confusing. For example, in one sentence we’re told that Liam is piercing Connor with his gaze in his bedroom, and the next they’re in school. Other than that, the writing is tight.
I, personally, loved this book. It captures perfectly that point where someone is hovering on the verge of adulthood, having to make decisions they’re not emotionally ready for, and making huge mistakes, but in the process gaining experience and insight so that when they make the same mistake again, they can at least appreciate they’ve done it.
This is not a book for people who get frustrated when a character is immature and inconsistent. It is the book for you if you like a character who is authentic to their age and is glorious in his inconsistency.
RATING: 
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