Reviewed by Sadonna

TITLE:  All the Way Out 

AUTHOR:  Ingrid Sterling

PUBLISHER:  Literary Wanderlust

LENGTH:  277 pages

RELEASE DATE:  April 1, 2021

BLURB:

Even at that young age Zach knew that those two truths – all-star athlete and homosexual male – could not exist concurrently. So, he’d started dating Rebecca, his devoutly Catholic girlfriend who wants to wait to have sex until she’s married, during his junior year of high school and never looked back.

But on the last night of a team trip to Rome, on the cusp of his senior season at Northwestern University, a Heisman, a number 1 draft pick and a National Championship, Zach seeks out one last anonymous encounter. He opens Grindr and slips out into the Italian summer night to meet Liam – Liam who has a face that looks like it was carved from Carrara marble by one of the ancient greats and whose brazen facade becomes sheepish when he’s asked about his past in Paris. The night is intense, better than Zach could have imagined. But like all one-night stands, it comes to an end by morning’s light.

But what happens to Zach’s carefully manicured plans for a professional football career and a life in the closet when Liam shows up, not only on the Northwestern campus the first day of the fall semester, but in Zach’s upper-level Plato seminar, too?

REVIEW:

Zach’s life has been quite carefully planned.  He’s going to finish college, hopefully win the National Championship as the quarterback of his teamand then be set for life playing in the NFL as a top draft pick.  He’s got a girlfriend who was his friend first and who is wanting to save herself for marriage.  This make things a bit easier for him because the other thing that Zach knows is that he’s gay.  He’s known for a long time.  But he also knows that his planned life and his sexuality are not compatible.  He’s managed to compartmentalize these two things and made due with sporadic anonymous hookups only where he’s sure he won’t be recognized.  He’s reconciled to having a good life with Rebecca and football, suppressing his desire for men.

Liam is in Rome for the summer recovering from a bit of a disaster that occurred in Paris at the conservatory where he was studying.  He’s American but he’s grown up in Italy with American parents, so while he speak perfect American English, his sensibilities are much more European than American.  He’s on Grindr looking for a hookup.

Zach is on a two week trip to Rome with his teammates which he is loving as a Classics major.  He decides before he heads back to Evanston for his senior year, he wants one last hurrah where he won’t be recognized and so he downloads Grindr one last time.  He gets a hit with Liam and decides to leave the team and meet up.  He’s surprised that Liam is American – although nominally really given that he’s grown up in Florence.  He decides to use his real name for the first time, because he’s in Rome and he’ll never see Liam again.  Things start off a little bit rocky, but they end up having a really good night 🙂

Imagine their surprise when they turn up in the same Plato seminar in Evanston.  And there are even more surprising connections.  But of course Zach is nervous and Liam is exasperated that Zach would even think that Liam would out him.  Things do not start well and they basically ignore each other after an initial confrontation.  When they end up at the same party one night though, things get a bit out of hand.  And things get even icier.  But when they are forced to work together on a class project, they have to figure out a way to compromise and get things done.  But the attraction that is simmering just below the surface bubbles over and they are unable to resist.

As the semester wears on and Zach’s team continues to win and he’s the focus of a lot of media, he looks to Liam to help keep him grounded.  His relationship with Rebecca becomes strained as well under all the pressure.  Liam is his safe place.  And of course he realizes that he is falling in love with him, which is not what he ever expected to happen.

As the season and playoffs wind down, Zach realizes that he’s got to do something.  He’s accomplished so much.  But he’s living half a life and he’s not being honest with too many people.  And it’s taking a toll on his enjoyment of what he’s achieved and what he’s looking forward to.  But Liam is dealing with his own issues.  After his disastrous last year, he’s not really in a good place and whatever Zach decides, he knows it will affect him and he doesn’t want be the one who ruins things for Zach.   So two broken hearts may be all they salvage.

Well this was such a wonderful read – so much more than what I expected.  From what I can tell, this is Ingrid Sterling’s debut book and I, for one, cannot wait for more.  I’ve read a number of closeted athlete stories over the past few years, but truly this ranks right at the top.  This story is just so complete.   These two characters are just so well-written and believable.  The authenticity of the dialogue, the situations, the reactions were so perfect.  I wanted so badly for things to work out for these guys.  There are some delightful twists and turns that I didn’t see coming at all.  I totally fell for these two men and wanted to hug them both.  They have a lot of obstacles to overcome, not the least of which is the continued homophobic nature of professional sports – particularly men’s sports.  I loved that although they are a couple in many ways and they are in love, there are things that they have to face alone and decisions that they have make for themselves before they can begin to start acting like a real couple – not a secret hidden one.

One of the other hidden treasures of this novel are the relationships each man has with his family.  The changes and shifts within each man’s close circle were superbly captured as their relationship gets more serious.  Liam’s family is much more laisse faire and European liberal in their approach, but they love and support their son.  Zach’s family is not quite so obvious in their support of their son and because he’s never shared his truth with them, they have a bit more to deal with.  But they come through have totally natural reactions to Zach’s revelations.  I also loved Zach and Liam’s friends – particularly Des, Sam and McKenzie.  One other thing I appreciated was the that their are no villains or one-dimensional character in the bunch.  From Zach’s advisor to his football coach to his girlfriend, each character was convincing and genuine.  This was just an absolutely beautiful story told so well.  Brava! Highly recommended.

RATING: 

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