Audio Tour, Excerpt & Giveaway:
Love Always, Wild by A.M. Johnson

For Him, Book 1

Wilder,
When I left that night, I had every intention of coming back to you. To us. But no matter how hard I wish for what I want, there are some things in life that aren’t meant to be. I don’t expect you to understand. You’ve already moved on, living your life. But mine ended that night, nine years ago, and I still can’t let you go. Not sure I ever will. I regret so many things, but hurting you, I’ll never forgive myself. I’m sorry for… everything.

Jax~

****

Jax,
If only you could’ve seen it like I did, the way you were when you thought the world wasn’t watching. How you’d change when I looked at you, when it was just us.
But most of all… I wish you could’ve seen how much it hurt me when you disappeared. Regrets are for cowards. It has always been my belief you should chase after the things you want with actions, not words. There is no such thing as never meant to be.
So this apology… not accepted…

Love always, Wild

****

**Love Always, Wild is a full-length emotional standalone, HEA, contemporary MM romance featuring second chances, southern accents, a cat named Gandalf, and a sassy best friend who moonlights as a therapist.**

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Then

 

“Oh God,” he muttered breathless against my mouth.

His teeth digging into my bottom lip as his fingers wrapped into my hair. The sticky heat of his release coated my stomach, the decadent weight of his body hovering over mine, the taut line of his jaw, the deep crease in his brow, he was trembling. Nothing had ever been this perfect.

“Loser.”

The word tore me from my private memory. Just another daily dose from the homophobic pricks who wished they could change me, fit me into some box that didn’t challenge their own masculinity. That sound. Their laughter. The joy. It was a deep darkness and it filled all the fucking space between me and them. I couldn’t connect with these assholes. I couldn’t feel that sunshine, that full-blown, goddamn light that poured in from the hallway windows. I tried to catch it with my fingers, but it was translucent as if I didn’t exist. Maybe to them I shouldn’t exist.

I was a ghost.

I hated that they’d made me feel like this. Like I was worthless, and as the marching band played down the hall, practicing for tomorrow’s game, I found myself alone. A silent laugh trapped itself inside my throat as I thought about what I’d done. What we’d done this morning. How maybe I’d gone and screwed up everything. I lowered my eyes to the yellowed pages of my book, Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Ring. I’d read it a thousand times, and it was usually a distraction, but as my eyes scanned the familiar words, my nervous fingers toyed with the shreds of denim surrounding my right knee. The cold of the concrete hallway floor seeped through to my spine, the hard wall pressing through my thin cotton t-shirt. The sentences blurred and curled as the passersby, the sheep, whispered about me, as I thought about him. You’d think being in college the high school dynamic would’ve faded, but when you’re the outcast, the openly gay kid at Eastchester University, even the simple act of reading in a hallway drew attention.

The corners of my lips tipped into a frown as I thought about what he’d said this morning. On his way out of my dorm room, blond hair disheveled with sex, cheeks blotched with pink, his green eyes pooled with confusion and clouded with his recent orgasm. I thought about how he’d be running across the basketball court about now. His smile wide, his full, broad shoulders tan, exposed in his uniform. He’d be gorgeous as always, and he’d have the taste of me still on his lips.

“No one can know, Wild. No one.”

I was a secret, an illusion, but he was in my bones, every slight, every snicker, and every trace of his fingertips on my skin. I’d let him take me and discard me. It wasn’t ideal, but I’d let him in knowing the consequences. The hazards of falling for the wrong guy. For Jaxon Stettler. All-American Jock. Closeted and unavailable. The same guy I’d crushed on since freshman year, tutored chemistry to all of our sophomore year, and finally, after those two years of longing, I’d gotten what I’d always wanted. Him. I closed my eyes and my thoughts drifted back to this morning.

The tang of his citrus body wash tickled my nose as I lowered my eyes back to the book in front of me. His scent was a punishment. A way the universe had found to torture me for my thoughts. He was straight, and I wanted him.

I’d studied him more tonight than the books I’d brought to tutor him. I’d noticed when he was frustrated or confused, he’d suck on his bottom lip. God, it was a beautiful lip. Soft and kissable. And the way his forehead turned into angry creases when I’d tell him he had the answer wrong. Even when he was in full-blown, self-doubt, crisis mode, he was stunning. It’s how he looked when he played basketball. Stern and focused and slightly ready to stab you. Call me twisted, but it was sexy. My favorite thing, though, was the way the left corner of his mouth lifted when he got the answer right. It was like a ton of bricks had fallen off his shoulders and his hard lines melted into this spectacular sideway smirk just for me. His crystal green eyes would light up, and I’d see something special I was sure he never allowed most people to see.

That thought brought my gaze to the thick mop of blond hair that fell into his eyes. He chewed his bottom lip as he poured over the notes I’d written along the side of his chem homework. The semester was halfway over, and I couldn’t believe my luck, or maybe it was a curse, that Jaxon Stettler was bent over a textbook in my dorm after midnight. He was oblivious to my watching eyes, but I wondered if he’d ever noticed my ogling before. If he’d ever wondered what I was thinking, like I wondered about him.

He groaned and let his face fall into his hands. “It’s late, I should go.”

“Or you could stay?”

Jax lifted his head, his green eyes dark in the dim light of the desk lamp. “You up for an all-nighter?”

“Will it help you pass?” I asked, my smile more for me. Having Jax in my room all night was a fantasy I’d love to live through. I was one of the lucky ones who’d scored a single this year.

The air in the room thickened as his eyes flicked to my mouth for the briefest of seconds.

He nodded. “I sure as hell hope so.”

When I’d asked him to stay, I never could have dreamt up what would happen the next morning. Part of me was glad for it, but the more sensible, less masochist side of me knew this would never work. I wanted him.

I exhaled a shaky breath and whispered to myself, “Yeah, but at what cost?”

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Check out For Him, Book 2
Not So Sincerely, Yours
Coming March 25

Ethan,
About last night… I could blame the bourbon. I could say I let things get out of hand, that I should have never called you, but I’m done lying to myself—to you. I know what you’re going to say. You’re not very good at keeping your opinions to yourself, but this can’t happen. It’s inappropriate, at best. I’m your boss. Not to mention, you’re clearly still hung up on him. I’m not a consolation prize.

Anders~

**

Anders,
You didn’t think it was inappropriate when you had your tongue down my throat, but I digress. As for your accusation, I’m not the only one stuck in the past, but at least I’m not running from it. I can’t believe I’m about to say this… Maybe you’re right. You shouldn’t have called me. Especially if you never intended to own it. Own that you wanted it to happen. Admit that you wanted me.

Not so sincerely,
Yours

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About the Author:

Connect with Amanda:
www.amjohnsonauthor.com
https://linktr.ee/am_johnson_author_
IG @am_johnson_author

About the Narrator:
Kirt Graves is a Wisconsin native whose passion for literature is rivaled only by his love of the spoken word. Thanks to years of experience onstage and as a high school forensics coach (some know the activity at speech & debate), Graves is a skilled mimic, compassionate interpreter, and master of long-form prose. A tenor by training, Graves can easily move between characters of any age, genre, gender or ethnic background.

Kirt Graves is an audiobook narrator most known for his work in gay romance. He loves telling queer stories. His first audiobook (TJ Klune’s Wolfsong) was featured as one of Audible’s Five-Star Faves in November 2016. A tenor by training, Kirt easily moves between characters of many ages, gender expressions, and backgrounds. In addition to his work as an audiobook narrator, Kirt is a graphic artist, a podcast host, and an award-winning speech coach.

Connected with Kirt: