Review by Sadonna

TITLE:  The Hitman’s Guide to Tying the Knot without Getting Shot

SERIES:  The Hitman’s Guide

AUTHOR:  Alice Winters

NARRATOR:  Michael Ferraiuolo

PUBLISHER:  Self-published

LENGTH:  9 hours and 37 minutes

RELEASE DATE:  January 29, 2021

BLURB:

Leland
Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us… again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive—including and not limited to: ten Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms.

Jackson
When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams and no one is going to stop me—especially with Leland by my side.

This 100k word book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing. 

REVIEW:

NOTE:  This is the third book in this series and as such has complete spoilers for previous installments.  For maximum enjoyment, these stories should be listened to in order.

Jackson and Leland are trying to plan their wedding but things aren’t exactly going to plan.  Ava, Jackson’s mother seems to want to be part of the process and Leland is not at all excited about her input 😉  Things at the office seem to be going pretty smoothly, despite Mason’s lack of actual work and Leland is doing his part.  There is a suspicious appointment though that Leland takes for Jackson that sets a mysterious string of events in motion.  The worst is that Jackson gets hurt.  And Leland gets murderous.

Leland is on a mission to figure out who hurt Jackson and is trying to blow up their wedding plans.  He reaches out to his “network” and discovers that there are multiple issues, not the least of which is a hit put out on Jackson.  Nobody seems to know why and it seems to be tied up with his laptop that was stolen when he was attacked.  There are a number of red herrings and a pretty convoluted story and a lot of blasts from the past that lead Leland and Jackson and Cassel on some wild goose chases.  And of course Henry can’t stay out of it either.

While all this is going on, Jackson and Leland also end up with an unexpected houseguest.  Mila, a young girl who has unwittingly been brought into the mix from the beginning of this convoluted plot is the key to a few missing pieces to the puzzle.  She’s also being completely neglected by her mother and thus, ends up stay with Jackson and Leland.  I actually really enjoyed this subplot and Leland with a child is both frightening and amusing.  Poor Jackson has his hands full!

All of this seems to be putting Jackson and Leland’s wedding on hold.  They can’t make any decisions until they can make sure that Jackson is safe and he no longer has a price on his head.  While this takes a bit longer than they had hoped, there is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙂  No spoilers, but there are many hilarious moments that get in the way of their nuptials.

OMG!  The hijinks in this newest installment of this series are completely out of control!  From the overabundance of guard dogs, to a crazy chase on a golf cart, to the blasts from the past, and of course the fence, there is a lot going on that may derail Jackson and Leland’s trip down the aisle.  Things get off to a suspicious start and then Jackson is put in danger which drive Leland a bit out of control.  As usual, his overboard reaction to things means life is interesting for Jackson.  What continues to be amazing and amusing is Jackson’s acceptance of all things Leland.  Despite putting him in a dress, renting ridiculous security, and trying to keep him at home, things don’t go exactly to plan.  But against all odds, Leland and Jackson end up stronger than ever 🙂  I loved Leland’s crazy trains of thought, his goading of Jackson’s mother, his constant harassment of Henry, Cassel and Jeremy and I really hope that there is more to this series.  Jackson continues to be a voice of “reason” if such a thing can be said to exist in this series.  I loved the intro of Mila, the little girl who gets slightly mixed up in their world in this book.  Maybe there is a future with children in it for Jackson and Leland – although I’m laughing hysterically about any home visit from Child Services that would have to include a tour of the Leland’s gun shrine and the sex dungeon. 😛  I absolutely love the humor and over the top shenanigan’s of this pair and their band of merry men.  I hope this series goes on for a long time because Leland will never ever get boring.  Once again Michael Ferraiuolo does a fabulous job with this series and all of the recurring voices.  I can only imagine how much he has to break for laughing while recording this series.  My hat is off to him 😀 Highly recommended!

RATING:

BUY LINKS:

Amazon

Audible