Reviewed by Sadonna
TITLE: Gray For You
SERIES: 8 Million Hearts
AUTHOR: Spencer Spears
NARRATOR: Michael Fell
PUBLISHER: Self-published
LENGTH: 17 hours and 42 minutes
REVIEW DATE: June 19, 2019
BLURB:
Who auditions for an adult film without realizing it? Me, apparently….
Gray: I’m not the kind of guy you take home to meet your mother. I’m an ex-adult film star with a GED and a giant co…llection of movie credits I can’t talk about in polite company. I might be good at helping other guys get their happy endings, but I’ve more or less given up on finding one of my own.
Until Tyler Lang walks into my life.
That’s right, my co-star for my final film is Tyler Lang-America’s heartthrob, until he disappeared from the radar last year. Tyler’s got a reputation for being a bad boy, a partier, and apparently straight, but the sweet, vulnerable-looking kid who shows up at auditions is completely different. And now that I’m getting to know him, I can’t help wondering what it is that’s made his eyes so sad-and wishing there were some way I could make it better.
I’m not supposed to get a happy ending. So why the hell won’t my heart listen?
“I’m yours. In whatever way, for however long you want me. Just say the words and you’ll have me forever.”
Tyler: I know what you’ve heard about me. Another spoiled child-actor, all grown up and out of control. I wish I could tell you you’re wrong, but the truth is, I’m a little bit of a mess. Okay, so maybe I’m a giant mess. And now, after getting arrested with an ez-bake oven’s worth of drugs I don’t even remember buying, I’m washed-up at the grand old age of 21.
After a year of rehab and community service, all I want is to work again. So when my agent sends me a new script, maybe I don’t read the fine print as carefully as I should. Which is how I end up auditioning for an adult film. A high-brow, literary adult film. But still. There’s no way I can go through with this. After all, I’m so deep in the closet I’m not sure I’ll ever find my way out. And I wouldn’t do this movie-except for one thing: Gray Evans.
Strong, kind, and honest, Gray makes me feel seen in a way I’ve never been before-and makes me want to be better. And somehow, around Gray, everything seems possible. Like maybe there’s a world where I’m not a total screw-up. Maybe there’s a world where I can come out, and not tank my career. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a world where Gray, who’s smart and brave and so together, could want someone like me.
Gray For You is Book 2 in the 8 Million Hearts series. While each book can be listened to on its own, they’re even more fun to listen together. Gray For You is a m/m romance full of snark, sweetness, and a healthy serving of steam. Movie star romance and hurt/comfort themes. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed HEA.
REVIEW:
Note: This is the second book in this series, but it works find as a stand alone. I haven’t listened to the first books and I didn’t feel like that was detrimental to my listening experience.
Gray is in a funk. His porn star career is pretty much over and he’s running the bar he inherited, but he’s also just broken up with his closeted on-again off-again boyfriend Ethan who keeps stringing him along. Ethan dumps him after Maggie, the only caring parent figure he’s ever known, dies from cancer and leaves everything to him. So yeah, he’s not in a good place. He had wanted to be an actor, but he gave up the one big role he was cast in because Ethan didn’t think he could do the “long-distance” thing and Gray didn’t want to lose him. But Ethan then lets him know that one of his former directors from his porn star days is directing a film based on a book that has gotten great buzz. It’s an indie and he’s given that up really, but when Victoria calls, he realizes he’s got nothing to lose and his manager/bar-tender friend Micah tells him to go for it because the source material is so good. So he goes for the audition and is really impressed with the writer and the producers and he’s happy to work with his old director again, but he’s not sure he’s really any good.
Just as Gray is finishing his audition, a young guy shows up really late to read for the other lead part. They end up reading together and Gray is mesmerized by the kid. He’s never seen him before, but he’s obviously really good. He is probably about the only person in New York City who DOESN’T know who Tyler Lang is. Tyler is a former child actor who has been in trouble with the law and has gotten out of rehab and needs to get back in the game, earn some money, and prove that he isn’t a washed up has-been. Gray feels drawn to him immediately. And it’s obvious that this kid can really act.
As they end up sharing a cab back into the city – Tyler to return to his brother Luke’s apartment and Gray to meet up with the siren call of a meet up with Ethan, Gray begins to talk about the movie and the scenes and it’s obvious Tyler has no idea what he’s even signed up for. This is going to be porn – he’s going to have to have sex with Gray – on camera. While Tyler has been in the closet because of this controlling father and his lack of opportunity, he’s know for a while now that he’s into guys. But he has literally no experience. His brother is gay though, so he confesses his conundrum to him after he returns from the audition. But when work gets out to the gossip rags that Tyler is going to do the movie based on this sleeper hit novel, things get really interesting.
As Gray and Tyler begin their rehearsals and filming at the location shoot, Tyler doesn’t want to leave the property. As they go to dinner the first night at Gray’s insistence, he finds out why. Just because Gray had never heard of Tyler, it seems everyone else on the planet has and the audacity of the stuff they say to Tyler has Gray curious. They swap some of their life stories and it seems neither has had it easy. Gray was neglected by his mother, never knew his father and ended up in the system. But at 16 he runs away to NYC to become an actor – but ends up hustling to make ends meet and gets taken in by Maggie. Tyler has moved to LA when he’s six with his dad and has been controlled by him since then – until he got in trouble and his dad abandoned him – wouldn’t event take his calls. Luke knows the score with their dad as he’d stayed in New York with their mom and the parents had a pretty rancorous divorce. Tyler’s dad has controlled everything about his life since then. Tyler doesn’t know how to get into his bank accounts, fill out employment paperwork, nothing – even though he’s over 21.
As the filming begins, Tyler and Gray get closer. Gray takes Tyler under his wing and tries to make sure he’s comfortable for their scenes together. Things are going great, but then come the sex scenes and Tyler is definitely not ready for that, despite his years of acting experience. Gray takes it upon himself to make sure that he protects Tyler from making a mistake he won’t be able to recover from. But as the shoot winds down, Tyler’s past comes knocking – literally – and derails everything he thinks he wants and whatever relationship he might have been building with Gray.
While Tyler’s life is falling apart, Gray also get some surprise news that leaves him totally off-kilter. But once he has a chance to get back to New York and really look at things through fresh eyes, he decides he is going to move on with his life and leave the unhealthy relationships behind. Too bad he and Tyler can’t quite connect to help each other out. But when Tyler learns just how badly he’s been manipulated and takes off, Gray is not about to let him go without a fight.
So I really liked this story. Fair warning, it’s quite long. At first I though maybe another edit was warranted, but truly all of the background information is critical to the motivation and psychological makeup of each character. Both Gray and Tyler have come from abusive backgrounds – so much so that neither of them thinks that they are worthy. They believe that they are screw ups and unlovable. And frankly once that’s in your head, it’s pretty hard to overcome. Luckily for both they have some good friends and family who force the issue with them. I kind of figures out one of the big plot twists fairly early, but it didn’t hurt my enjoyment of the story. I really liked seeing both of these guys grown into confident men as the story went on. I’m excited for the next book! Michael Fell was a new to me narrator, and I liked his voice choices, although I did have a little trouble a few times determining which character was speaking. Recommended especially for those who enjoy and angsty hard won HEA.
RATING: 
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