Reviewed by Valerie
TITLE: A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies
AUTHOR: Christina Lee
PUBLISHER: Self Published
LENGTH: 272 pages
RELEASE DATE: April 2, 2020
BLURB:
The last thing Emerson Rose expects is to fall for his best friend, Rhys, especially since he’s never been attracted to a man before. Everything in his life is already complicated enough. He’s put his own future on hold to raise his two younger siblings, and confusing feelings for the guy who always has his back muddy the waters even more. But then something astonishing happens. For one perfect moment, he thinks Rhys might feel the same—only to have his world come crashing down around him a second time.
Rhys Lancaster has always known he’s gay and that Emerson isn’t. Best friends since childhood, their easy companionship has usually been enough. Between his job, his adrenaline-filled adventures, and hanging out with Emerson and his siblings, he has it good…until he wakes up in the hospital with no memories of the last year of his life.
Like they normally do when things go horribly wrong, Rhys and Emerson support each other. Frustrated by all he’s lost, Rhys stays with Emerson during his recovery, and Emerson helps Rhys through the fog, while pushing those other feelings aside. To make matters worse, Rhys knows Emerson’s keeping something from him. Everything feels different now when he looks at Emerson, and as they fall into a comfortable routine, that aching desire doesn’t stay buried for long.
But Emerson has a family to raise, and Rhys is struggling to figure out what’s going on inside his head. Unless they can push past the doubts and fears to seal that connection between them again, this tragedy might become the one each has to weather alone.
REVIEW:
What’s in a name? A title can be an important tool to convey the subject matter, impart symbolism, or elicit a particular emotion the author wants to evoke. In the romance genre, so often the title is generic and fails to deliver any information pertinent to the novel, which is why I get excited about an unusual or compelling title and/or book cover. A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies is intriguing because it suggests metamorphosis.
When a metamorphosis occurs, a person or thing develops and changes into something completely different – Collins Dictionary
Sam, the younger brother of main character, Emerson, informs the family that the collective noun for a group of butterflies is a kaleidoscope. The title refers literally to a caterpillar habitat he gives to Emerson’s best friend and love interest, Rhys, so they can watch the insects grow and undergo metamorphosis into butterflies, but more importantly, it figuratively references a number of vital transformations that occur in the story, notably:
- The sudden and permanent changes that occur to Emerson’s family when their parents die.
- Emerson realizes he’s attracted to a man – Rhys – and struggles with his sexual identity.
- Because of an accident that causes Rhys to lose a year’s worth of memories, he isn’t sure about himself any longer. He undergoes a transformation from an action sports adrenaline junkie to a man more family oriented. He then falls in love with his lifelong best friend, who he thought was straight.
Rhys thought about what Sam had said about him having a metamorphosis of his own. A complete destruction that was actually a transformation – wasn’t that how he described it? Currently he was in the stages of ruin, and he didn’t know what was to come, but he was willing to wade through the dark to find out.
What’s in a label?
Demisexuality: A sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond had formed. – healthline.com
There is some controversy in the MM genre over the term “gay for you” (GFY). Many readers feel it is not accurate terminology and that someone straight doesn’t turn gay for one person. Saying GFY doesn’t exist dismisses demisexuals, though. I am so glad to see what many people label as GFY is represented here as demisexuality, which is probably how many GFY characters could be classified. There are other sexual orientations that might apply, as well.
Emerson had come across a term in a Google search that had stopped him cold. And then had filled him with such relief and validation because he’d finally found something that described him. Demisexual. The reason why he didn’t have much of a sex drive except when it came to people he was very familiar with and could feel romantic toward. He could go on a hundred dates and never feel anything remotely like attraction, and he’d always thought there was something broken inside him. But when he’d kissed Rhys, whom he’d been close to since childhood, an entire world opened up to him.
I had a hard time getting into this book, but once I did, it held my attention. It has an interesting plot with an amnesia trope; since Rhys only loses a year, the amnesia is not as angsty as it would be had he completely forgotten even knowing his loved one. There’s a side plot involving Rhys’ mother which provides more character background for Rhys, but otherwise doesn’t contribute to the book meaningfully. The romance is a slow burn with the first kiss and more not happening until two-thirds into the book. The men do have nice chemistry together, though.
A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies is a book I can easily recommend, particularly for those who enjoy amnesia tropes and a warm, family dynamic, with a heart-warming best friends to lovers theme.
RATING: 
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