Help me to Feel: Sex Surrogacy and The Mating of Michael
By Eli Easton
Jan 30th marks the re-release of my Sex In Seattle series. I wrote this series in 2013-2014 and it is one of my favorites. Set in a sex therapy clinic on Capital Hill in Seattle, the series of three books includes Dr. Jack Halloran, an ex military doctor who went into sex therapy work after his PTSD made being an ER doctor or surgeon no longer possible (featured in The Trouble With Tony).
The second book is about a high-powered businessman who faces an existential crisis when his father becomes terminally ill (in The Enlightenment of Daniel). Realizing there’s more to life than turning a profit, Daniel comes face-to-face with feelings for his male business partner, Nick. His work with Dr. Halloran, and sex surrogate Michael, leads him to realize he’s long repressed his gay identity and that happiness might be closer to hand than he ever imagined.
The third book in the series is my favorite, and reader’s favorite too. The Mating of Michael features Michael, the clinic’s gay sex surrogate. This was a quite interesting book to research.
Michael loves being a sex surrogate, but most of the people he meets seem to think sex surrogacy is akin to prostitution – like it’s prostitution’s slightly nicer younger sister who took a few medical classes.
Au contraire! I loved researching sex surrogacy, and I’ll give you some links at the end of this article in case you want to learn more. But a sex surrogate fulfills a very challenging and necessary role. Just as a physical therapist is needed when a person has an accident and is relearning how to walk, a sex surrogate can provide help to get someone ‘on their feet’ sexually.
Most of us don’t require a professional coach to learn how to have sex. After all, it’s a natural instinct like eating and breathing, isn’t it?
Sadly, not everyone is that lucky. Some people have issues that require the help of a person who is a therapist specializing in intimacy and sexual response. What kind of person might need the services of a sex surrogate?
· Premature ejaculation – A sex surrogate can teach techniques for delaying orgasm.
· Erectile dysfunction – A sex surrogate can provide exercises to try, advice on nutritional and chemical therapy, and also be a safe partner who won’t get impatient or humiliate the sufferer.
· Anxiety/fear of intimacy or acute shyness – A sex surrogate is trained to work with people at the pace they need and use therapy techniques to overcome mental barriers to intimacy.
· Frigidity – A sex surrogate can help a person try to overcome physical and mental blocks to experiencing pleasure.
· Performance insecurity – A man or woman may fear they are ‘terrible in bed’ and want advice and instruction from someone they can really trust.
· Sexuality/gender issues – A sex surrogate is trained to help others explore issues related to sexual preference and gender in a safe setting.
· Abuse recovery – A sex surrogate has the patience, training, and non-judgmental emotional distance to help someone past fear and anxiety caused by trauma.
· Disability/illness – In some cases, a person may be unable to find a sexual partner due to their inability to leave the house or to attract others (or their fear no one would find them attractive). A sex surrogate fills the role of compassionate sexual partner.
Some countries are even discussing adding sex surrogacy to disability benefits provided by the state. All this raises an interesting question: Should access to a sex life be considered an inalienable human right, like food, shelter, clean water, and emergency medical treatment? The people at Expanded Horizons, my fictional sex clinic in this series, think the answer is ‘yes’. It is, after all, a very basic primal human need. No one should have to live without love, touch, and sexual intimacy.
Being a male sex surrogate isn’t someone just anyone can do. It takes compassion, empathy, an ability to respond sexually in stressful dynamics, and a gentle spirit. Michael Lamont is very good at being a sex surrogate, and he loves his work. But in The Mating of Michael, when he meets the man who could be the love of his life, he has difficulty admitting to what he does much less explaining it. Can Michael’s boyfriend James learn to accept what Michael does or will it tear them apart? Can Michael’s training help him overcome the barriers James himself has put up to true intimacy?
Besides James, you’ll meet a few of Michael’s patients and get to ‘attend’ a few of his surrogacy sessions. I hope you find it as interesting to read about as I did to research it!
Additional Resources on Sex Surrogacy:
“Sessions of a Sex Surrogate” by Joanne Ferro — on Kindle here: http://www.amazon.com/SESSIONS-Sex-Surrogate-Joanne-Ferro/dp/0985957859
“Private Practices” – documentary about surrogate Maureen Sullivan –on Amazon Instant Video here: http://www.amazon.com/Private-Practices-Unrated-Warren-Robert/dp/B0021ZLZL0/ref=sr_1_wsc1?s=instant-video&ie=UTF8&qid=1403991573&sr=1-1-wordsplitter&keywords=%E2%80%9CPrivate+Practices%E2%80%9D
IPSA – The national association that trains sex surrogates: http://www.surrogatetherapy.org/
There’s a film called “The Sessions” with Helen Hunt (which I didn’t watch because I didn’t want to be overly influenced before writing this book!)
New York Times article on sex surrogacy for the disabled: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/05/world/europe/disabled-people-say-they-too-want-a-sex-life-and-seek-help-in-attaining-it.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
You can find an excerpt from “The Mating of Michael” on my website (www.elieaston.com) or check out a free sample on iBooks or Kindle.
The Trouble With Tony (Book #1) – Amazon US | Amazon UK | Universal Link
As part of the investigation into the murder of a young woman, Seattle P.I. Tony DeMarco poses as a patient of Dr. Jack Halloran, the therapist who treated the victim at a Seattle sex clinic. This isn’t the first time Tony has gone undercover, but it’s the first time he’s wanted to go under cover with one of his suspects. He can’t help it—Jack Halloran is just the kind of steely-eyed hero Tony goes for. But he’ll have to prove Halloran’s innocence and keep the doctor from finding out about his ruse before he can play Romeo.
Dr. Halloran has his own issues, including a damaged right arm sustained in the line of duty as a combat surgeon in Iraq and the PTSD that followed. He’s confused to find himself attracted to a new patient, the big, funny Italian with the puppy-dog eyes, and Tony’s humor slips right past Jack’s defenses, making him feel things he thought long buried. But can the doctor and the P.I. find a path to romance despite the secrets between them?
Business tycoon Daniel Derenzo lives for his work until his dying father reminds him life is short. When Daniel starts to reevaluate his world he experiences a startling revelation—he’s attracted to his business partner and best friend, Nick, even though Daniel always believed himself to be straight. In typical type-A fashion, Daniel dissects his newfound desires with the help of the experts at the Expanded Horizons sex clinic. He goes after Nick with the fierce determination that’s won him many a business deal.
Nick Ross was in love with Daniel years ago, when they were roommates in college. But Daniel was straight and Nick patched his broken heart by marrying Marcia. Two kids and fourteen years later, they go through the motions of their marriage like ships passing in the night. But Nick’s kids mean the world to him, and he’s afraid he’ll never get joint custody if they divorced. If he can trust his heart to an awakening Daniel, they all might find their way to a happily ever after.
NOTE: This novel can be read as a stand-alone.
Everyone admires Michael Lamont for being a nurse, but his part-time work as a gay sex surrogate not only raises eyebrows, it’s cost him relationships. Michael is small, beautiful, and dedicated to working with people who need him. But what he really wants is a love of his own. He spends most of his time reading science fiction, especially books written by his favorite author and long-time crush, the mysteriously reclusive J.C. Guise.
James Gallway’s life is slowly but inexorably sliding downhill. He wrote a best-selling science fiction novel at the tender age of eighteen, while bedridden with complications of polio. But by twenty-eight, he’s lost his inspiration and his will to live. His sales from his J.C. Guise books have been in decline for years. Wheelchair bound, James has isolated himself, convinced he is unlovable. When he is forced to do a book signing and meets Michael Lamont, he can’t believe a guy who looks like Michael could be interested in a man like him.
Michael and James are made for each other. But they must let go of stubbornness to see that life finds a way and love has no limitations.
NOTE: This novel can be read as a stand-alone.
Having been, at various times and under different names, a minister’s daughter, a computer programmer, a game designer, the author of paranormal mysteries, a fan fiction writer, and organic farmer, Eli has been a m/m romance author since 2013. She has over 30 books published.
Eli has loved romance since her teens and she particular admires writers who can combine literary merit, genuine humor, melting hotness, and eye-dabbing sweetness into one story. She promises to strive to achieve most of that most of the time. She currently lives on a farm in Pennsylvania with her husband, bulldogs, cows, a cat, and lots of groundhogs.
In romance, Eli is best known for her Christmas stories because she’s a total Christmas sap. These include “Blame it on the Mistletoe”, “Unwrapping Hank” and “Merry Christmas, Mr. Miggles”. Her “Howl at the Moon” series of paranormal romances featuring the town of Mad Creek and its dog shifters has been popular with readers. And her series of Amish-themed romances, Men of Lancaster County, has won genre awards.
Her website is www.elieaston.com
You can email her at eli@elieaston.com
