Reviewed by Annika
TITLE: Vespertine
AUTHOR: Leta Blake & Indra Vaughn
NARRATOR: Michael Ferraiuolo
PUBLISHER: Leta Blake Books
LENGTH: 14 hours, 18 minutes
RELEASE DATE: December 16, 2019
BLURB:
Can a priest and a rock star obey love’s call?
Seventeen years ago, Jasper Hendricks and Nicholas Blumfeld’s childhood friendship turned into a secret, blissful love affair. They spent several idyllic months together until Jasper’s calling to the Catholic priesthood became impossible to ignore. Left floundering, Nicky followed his own trajectory into rock stardom, but he never stopped looking back.
Today, Jasper pushes boundaries as an out, gay priest, working hard to help vulnerable LGBTQ youth. He’s determined to bring change to the church and the world. Respected, admired, and settled in his skin, Jasper has long ignored his loneliness.
As Nico Blue, guitarist and songwriter for the band Vespertine, Nicky owns the hearts of millions. He and his bandmates have toured the world, lighting their fans on fire with their music. Numbed by drugs and fueled by simmering anger, Nicky feels completely alone. When Vespertine is forced to get sober, Nicky returns home to where it all started.
Jasper and Nicky’s careers have ruled their lives since they parted as teens. When they come face to face again, they must choose between the past’s lingering ghosts or the promise of a new future.
REVIEW:
I’m always hesitant to pick up books where religion of any kind play a huge role. I’m not a religious person. I never have been, and probably never will be. I worry that the books will turn out preachy, with scripture quotes etc. On the other hand, previously I’ve read one book with a priest as a main character that balanced in religion just perfectly. It’s a book that has stuck with me for years and will stay with me for many years to come. And after finishing Vespertine I can happily add another book to that short list.
For a long time I didn’t know where I wanted the book to go in regards to Jasper and his priesthood and Nicky. I mean Jazz knew from early on he was destined for the church, not even Nicky, the love of his life, could keep him from that fate. For years he was happy in his role and never questioned the choices he’d made. He loved helping his congregation and the LGBTQ youth community. That is until Nicky came back into his life, re-awakening old feelings and wants. Only those feelings and being a Catholic priest were mutualy exclusive. He had to choose one or the other.
This is something I don’t and probably won’t ever understand. Why isn’t a Catholic priest allowed to love? Why does the church put regulations on whom to love – and who is allowed to love and in what way? That part is infuriating to me. The world needs all the love it can get. Love is a beautiful thing and putting limits on it feels wrong to me. But the world is as it is, and change takes time – if that will ever change.
Indra Vaughn and Leta Blake did a fantastic job with this book and these characters. They were multi-facetted and genuine. They were relatable. I’m not devout or have ever been addicted to drugs, but these authors and narrator made me feel both Jasper and Nicky’s struggles deep in my bones. Both being dragged in multiple directions, with no clear path of where they should go. How much they should fight the system that put them on the path they find themselves today. They also created a beautiful love story about two men that fell in love when they were teenagers. It was a love that stayed with them both when they were apart. From the beginning it was clear that Nicky and Jasper loved each other, that they both were that elusive “one” for each other. They fit and complimented the other. Sure they had a lot of stuff to work through, old and new, but the end result was worth all the hurt and pain.
The book was performed by Michael Ferraiuolo and I have to say he was a great choice – maybe it was a calling? – for this book. He truly captured the essence of it and characters. The emotions were clear, there were so many times I could hear the smile in his voice – and the heartbreak. He took this story and made it his own, shared it with the listener in a way that captured them in this whirlwind of emotions, good and bad. Because this book is emotional on so many levels. And each and every one of those emotions are given space to be fully explored and felt by the characters, but also by the listener. We go through the withdrawal with Nicky and how much he struggles with being sober. His fear of not being able to create music and in general his place in the world. More than that we feel the love he still has for Jasper, how much he needs him but also how much he doesn’t want to hurt him. As far as Jasper goes, his part is far less angsty and more introspective. His need to save the kids, to keep his shelter open for LGBTQ kids. His growing, or rather returning feelings for Nicky and his need to help. But also his struggles between his priesthood and the love he felt for Jasper. We are there for it all, we feel it all, thanks to a spectacular narration.
This book might be 14+ hours long, but never once did the book feel dragged out or repetitive. It was beautiful, sweet and definitely worth listening to.
RATING: 
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