It probably will come as no surprise to you to hear that writers spend a LOT of time with the voices in their heads. But you might not expect to hear that more often than not, rather than the voices belonging to our beloved characters, they’re voices of fictitious readers, and we’re mostly terrified of them.

It’s something I think doesn’t cross most writer’s minds before they’re ever published. We happily bang away at our keyboards, blissfully ignorant to the fact that a main character should NEVER cheat, even in his long forgotten past. Or that whether we refer to a penis as a dick, a schlong, man meat, or a cock we’ll have a legion of readers who love it and another group who find it completely cringe-worthy. We’re steeped in blissful ignorance with no clue that the way a character copes with grief, or experiences joy, or even falls in love can somehow be incorrect in the eyes of readers who picked up the book for a few mere hours while we poured our hearts into them for months on end. This beautiful realm of existence only lasts as long as it takes to read the very first three star review, or see your book being blasted on a book rec page on Facebook. It doesn’t even have to be YOUR book being discussed. Once the veil has been pulled back from our eyes, we see ourselves in every critical post.

“I hate when I read a book and the MC is self-critical through the entire story”. Oh no, was that my book? What did they mean by self-critical? Are they referring to the self-doubts that were the driving force of the entire narrative and thus couldn’t possibly have been resolved sooner? Or Do they mean the incessantly whiny characters who I’m sure are still a deep part of their own creator as well.

With each book it becomes more difficult to listen to the voices of your characters and block out the voices of all the faceless readers you’re sure will criticize your word choice and character development no matter which direction you go.

But you know what, authors? I’ll tell you a secret. No matter what, you can’t please everyone, and that’s the honest truth. So write your character with the sordid past, call his dick his love rocket, and let him whine his way through 380 pages, because I guarantee for every reader who simply can’t stand it, there will be a reader who’s dying for more. Listen to your characters and listen to your own inner voice, and rock that manuscript you’re working on today!