I’m a crier. I’ve been one for as long as I can remember. I cry when I watch sad (or happy) movies, when I read emotional books, and when I listen to songs that mean a lot to me. I cry when I’m pissed off, when something makes me really grateful, when I see a picture of an elephant suffering, or when a favorite celebrity dies (as evidenced above).

In general, I’ve always been a sensitive person. I’m deeply moved by books or music or art. I startle easily – so much so that we’ve made up a system at home where my husband warns me by blinking the lights if he’s approaching me and I look like I’m deep into something. Caffeine keeps me up all night, I get easily overwhelmed when out among people, and I really can’t handle stress.

One more thing. I’m very sensitive to other people’s moods. For example: if my husband is angry or upset, even if it’s not directed at me, I get anxious. My stomach roils, and I feel like a hand is reaching into into my chest, squeezing all life out of my heart. When this happens, I feel the need to walk around on eggshells, lower my voice, or hide. In the end, I try my best to stay away from the negative energy, because I just can’t take this feeling.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about this last thing. Why do I feel like this? Why am I so sensitive to negative energy? Is it normal?

Am I normal?

Talk about a loaded question. Who decides what’s normal anyway?

I’ve come to accept most of these “quirks” of mine. It’s who I am, I think, and every time me and my husband have an argument and I start crying, I always sob out “I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m crying because I’m ANGRY!”

But being sensitive to other people’s moods — that got me thinking. And thinking led me to Google (when in doubt, ask Google), and Google gave me some interesting answers. I found information about The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

If you’ve never heard about HSP, you’re not alone, neither had I. But the more I read about it, the more it made sense. I have many of the traits associated with HSP; in fact, when I did the test on this webpage, I answered yes to 23 of 27 questions, and the result was “If you’ve answered yes to more than 14 questions, you’re probably a highly sensitive person.”

Oh.

I learned that being HSP isn’t a disorder; it’s a personality trait, shared by 15-20% of the population. Finding this information has been very useful for me. It’s helped me understand myself better and has helped my husband understand me better too. But most of all, I realize I’m not weird for feeling this way. I’m not alone.

Aside for being HSP, I’m also a woman. I’m white. A wife, mother, daughter, and sister. I’m a bookworm and a music lover. A Trekkie, an atheist, and eternally curious. I’m a writer. I’m bisexual.

I have many labels, and figuring out who I am by identifying with one label of another has been very helpful for me during the years. Like that time when I was a teenager and realized there was a word for someone who liked both boys and girls. Or like now, when I realized being a Highly Sensitive Person is a real thing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about labels lately, and how many people doesn’t want to be labeled at all. I don’t like labels, or Does everyone need a label?

The answer is, of course, no. Not everyone needs a label. But some of us do, or at least want them. It helps us define who we are and find other people who are like us. It helps us feel less lonely. Less weird.

And isn’t that what everyone needs? To know we’re not alone out there?