Reviewed by Becca
TITLE: Santa is a Vampire
SERIES: Simon the Elf series
AUTHOR: Damian Serbu
PUBLISHER: Ninestar Press
LENGTH: 247 pages
RELEASE DATE: November 26, 2018
BLURB:
Simon the Elf wants to tell you the true story behind Jolly Ole St. Nick. Yeah, he’s a vampire. But that alleged gift giver and lover of children hides more than that fact from you. And what about Mrs. Claus and Rudolph? Venture into a world of enslaved elves, enchanted animals, and death wrought by Santa himself. With his sharp wit, Simon will lead you into the darkest realms of Christmas. Warning: Simon cusses a lot. But you would, too, if Santa held you captive.
REVIEW:
Man. This has got to be one of the most fucked up books I have ever read, but damn can Damian tell a story. It is so twisted, sadistic and evil and completely throws off ANY childhood dream you may have ever had about Santa and the North Pole. oh my gah. It’s so unbelievable, I’m still sitting here stumped. But it’s a hell of a story. You know, I had to …not laugh, necessarily, but appreciate the irony, in one part of the story. Simon the Elf is learning the story of Santa the vamp and ‘Mrs. Claus’ and such and Santa gets mad about a reference to Hitler. But in this story, I think he may be quite a bit worse.
There are possible triggers. Some homophobia, lots of murder and death. He is a vamp after all. But he’s also a death bringer and I can’t give it away. You have to read to find out how. Just be careful if any of it bothers you.
Simon had a life at one point. He’s telling his story in this book in his way. He wants to tell the true story of ole St. Nick and what an evil man he really is. And how Simon went from a normal person to a 3 foot enslaved elf, who has to do Santa’s bidding. And he’s not the only one. There are tons more. And what goes on at the North Pole is not all carols and sunshine and roses. It’s hell on Earth. As Simon is forced to endure Santa’s crap, he is secretly writing the story of Santa, Mrs. Claus and Rudolph, to somehow get it out into the world and tell of what’s really going on. But just when he thinks he may have it, Santa surprises him. He knows what Simon is up to and has been doing and Simon wonders if this is finally the one time he’s crossed the line and will end up dead.
I’m serious, guys, this is a dark story. It’s not happy at all. But it’s really good. If you have a warped sense of things like I do, you can’t help but appreciate how this story was told. And how Santa was made out to really be. All of it. It’s twisted and I loved it. I think back on all those times of watching the old Santa cartoons and Frosty with Burl Ives and all those older actors and the pictures definitely don’t add up anymore lol. I don’t think I will be able to look at them the same now.
But as I said, it was amazingly written. The concept, the plot, the characters. It’s good. It’s original and is a story to be read.
RATING: 
BUY LINKS:
[…] Read More » […]