Blurb:
I worshiped at the altar of pain, surviving on avoidance, physical to avoid the mental, anything to forget what I’d lost. When Remi walked through the door, I felt like I’d paid my price for the passage through hell and been granted a taste of Eden. Remi was my oasis and I was going to drown myself in him.
But life takes with no remorse and everything was a mirage. The past won’t stay dead and a cruel phantom comes to destroy our happiness. The more we need each other the further apart our lives drive us. I’m torn between my perfect past and the hope of an oasis, and either choice demands I cut out part of my soul.
First book in the Inferno series: Clouded Hell
I survive on avoidance. Physical pain to avoid the mental. Disposable flesh to avoid relationships. Work to avoid attachment. My club became my empire of avoidance. Inside the ring millions are won and lost. The fight is confined to breaths, actions and reactions, fists and pain. Rules don’t exist. Only my opponent exists. I’d been avoiding my needs for far too long when Remi stumbles into the Inferno and I’m hungry. The promise of a submissive with no attachment is far too tempting. I can’t resist him. He was only supposed to be a distraction, but I know I’ll never get over him. There isn’t a chance in this clouded hell.
“I want to goad you, and pick a fight, even if you hate me afterwards. I need it so bad I almost don’t care. I’m shocked I’m even talking. I thought of so many ways of pissing you off until you hurt me. Or begging on my hands and knees. I must be so damn broken I’ve moved on from games and am using the truth.”
It was more raw than I’d ever seen him.
“I think I have an idea of how I can help you.”
He looked at me over his shoulder. “Please. I will do anything.”
“Anything is a dangerous word.”
“Take my anything. Take my everything. Break me and make me yours if only for tonight.”
“How can I say no to that?”
I pulled him flush against me, sliding my fingers under the hem of his shirt. He was tense through his core. I wanted to see him relax, but I was going to have to be creative, because if he took any more internal damage he really was going to die. I was sure he was going to end up with an infection or worse. I didn’t even need to look at the wound to know. Seeing his face was enough.
I had to banish the images that came to mind next. Knowing how bad Kai had hurt him, and how worked up he must have been…I made myself stop. If I thought about it, I was going to bury myself in a hole I might not escape from.
“I don’t think I could bear you saying no right now.”
“I’m not.” I led him up the stairs but stopped on the first landing.
He stared at me when I opened the bedroom door. We never played in the bedroom. I couldn’t bring myself to, until now. I didn’t think I was doing it out of spite, but I led him in there. He needed to stretch out and relax or so I told myself.
“In here?” he asked hovering at the door.
“Stretch out and undress.”
Gray is a cynical Chicago native, who drinks coffee all day, barely sleeps, and is a little too fashion obsessed. He writes realistic and damaged characters because everyone deserves a happily ever after.
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Books by JR Gray
The Bound Series
