Reviewed by Becca
TITLE: Utopia
SERIES: Cedar Falls #8
AUTHOR: Shea Balik
PUBLISHER: Siren-Bookstrand Inc
LENGTH: 112 pages
RELEASE DATE: October 17, 2015
BLURB:
Stone Powers made a mistake that put the love of his life in the hospital twelve years ago. Too ashamed of his actions, Stone fled. But no matter how far he runs, he continues to come back to one truth: he owes Griffith Montrose an apology. If he were to be honest, Stone hopes Griff will give him another chance by forgiving him.
Griffith Montrose has become somewhat of a hermit. Being beaten by a bigot twelve years earlier has left him anxious around people. Returning to his home town of Cedar Falls with his tail tucked firmly between his legs, Griffith isn’t sure he’ll ever recover from that fateful day when his boyfriend—the man Griffith thought loved him—stood by and watched his attacker beat him.
Reunited once more, can the two put what happened behind them and find their happily-ever-after or are they destined to live alone?
REVIEW:
First, there is a huge trigger. One of the MCs is beaten by a bigot, who unfortunately is the father of the other MC. So, beatings and languages and the possibility of another beating occurs later on.
Having said that, this was a hard one for me to a point. I enjoyed it of course. Jesse and the…sub/twink squad are enfolding others in their group to make them feel at home and have friends. It really is amazing. Jesse, being Jesse, makes everything fun, but throughout these books, there have been so many things we’ve see from him. He’s such a good man. And in this one, he enfolded Griffith in the fold.
Griffith has pretty much become a hermit after his beating 12 years ago. It’s made him leery of crowds and people and he no longer dresses with a bit of flare like he used to. Kind of a bit like Jesse. Now it’s baggy jeans and tshirts and such. The nightmare of that day will always be there, but he’s taken steps to make sure if it happens again, he can do damage. Taking martial arts courses have helped give him a boost but he still can’t handle being around people anymore. When Jesse and the crew have a party to celebrate his getting an agent for his books, he dreaded going. But what he finds there, makes it so much worse. The one man he never stopped loving, but never thought he’d see again. Stone. Seeing Stone brings everything from that day to the front and he has to leave. And he runs. But Syn, casino bigwig, is determined to kind fix things. He’s seen the agony from Stone and the hurt from Griffith and something there needs to be fixed so they can move on. He finds Griffith and puts them together so to speak, and eventually, later on, they start talking it out. Getting the past out of their way. It’s a long road to healing, and if these two do still really love each other, it’s going to take a lot of healing to move on.
I had such a hard time with this one. Not that it’s not a great story, but how do you forgive someone who watched you get beaten almost to death? How can you still love that person? It’s a hard thing to do. I’d like to think I’d be able to forgive and move on. Even if we couldn’t be together again, I’d hope I’d be able to forgive and let go. I don’t know. With all the crap I’ve endured in my life, maybe. What about you?
For Griffith, part of him had forgiven part of the incident. Part of him hasn’t. He still has things he needs to work through. Hearing things from Stone, explanations and apologies help, but he still has to think through them. For Stone, it’s something that breaks him every moment of the day. The look on Griffith’s face is forever stamped in his mind. He can’t atone enough for what he did.
Now he did eventually step in, but by then, the damage was done. He came out at that point as well. But he ran hard and fast, not being able to face Griffith. And that was part of what Griffith couldn’t get past. He needed Stone regardless, and Stone bolted.
I can’t imagine what it would be like in this situation. Both of the boys were just that. Boys. Just starting life in college. Learning the world and each other. But both changed after that. Some for good and some not so good. But it takes healing and communication. Trust and hope to move on.
RATING: 
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